Joint bank account...what if???

[Upandaway0987]

Your OH took 2000 pounds out of your joint bank and didn't discuss it with you would you do? Would you expect him or her to discuss it with you first?

If he is earning considerably more than you, why are you paying the same into the joint account? It should be equal % of your salary- sounds like financial abuse.

Forget my earlier post then, now sounds as shifty as hell. He's owed 2k for what exactly? And how on earth are you equal if more of your earnings go towards joint expenses than his?

It's ruined today?
today
What an odd thing to say.
Realising my husband was an arsehole would do more than just ruin my day.

What are you going to do?

Not really getting this. Is he saying you owe him 2k ?

OP, can you elaborate? This thread has the prize for most frustrating of the day

He is olanning on leavinf you OR THINKS because he EARNS MORE THAN YOU HE is BETTER THAN YOU AND dererves more. Sorry about caps.

DH earns over 10x what I earn and that is not an exaggeration...
But I would be fucking furious at him removing 2k from our joint account without a word and then telling me he was 'owed' it. No mate. that isn't how it works

Did he pay for some 'stuff' on a credit card or from his account and is just transferring what he's owed? I do that with ours as I buy things on my credit card then pay myself back etc. My husband doesn't do any of the bank stuff and just trusts me to sort it. It's all very roughly done but then it's all sort of our money anyway. It's shit that you have to pay equal in if he earns a lot more. Would your life be nicer if you didn't have to pay half, eg could afford to go out with friends more often etc? Was your message to him a bit grumpy? Just wondering if that's why he replied with a shitty reply. I think you need to wait until you're face to face and ask him about it. I don't think you need to start packing his things up just yet.

why are you paying the same into the joint account? It should be equal % of your salary

How is that fair?

When DH and I got together I earned 6 times what he did for the first few years (he did a 5 year apprenticeship).

Eg 75% of £1800 would have left me with £450 a month to spend.

75% of £300 would have left DH with only £75 to spend a month.

So had we both put in 75% of our salaries I'd have had far more money to spend than he did. There's no way I could have been happy to be comparatively rolling in money whist he had fuck all! I saw him as an equal an what his employer valued him at as irrelevant as I valued him as my equal. This meant he always had the same disposable income to spend as I did.

Bloody good job too as when I gave up work to raise our DD and then care for his mum, then his dad, I earned fuck all whilst his career took off. He could have felt entitled to have far more spending power than me. That's not equality. He could no more see that happening to me than I could to him!

All this talk about the OP moving the rest of the money into her account, if the bills etc are paid from the joint account then it'd be a pretty stupid thing to do. She needs to speak to her husband, not go into arrears.

Completely depends on how much you have in the account / money in general. Be wary of ruining a bit surprise if you have got that kind of money spare.

Joysmum

Exactly.

Is there enough left in the joint account to pay this month's bills and mortgage? I think it's worth you talking to your bank about possible options with respect to freezing cash transfer / withdrawal facilities, so that direct debits get paid but he can't take any more cash out.

And yes, his attitude does suggest that he doesn't regard you as an equal partnership. There could well be more to this.

Does that mean there's 2k left for you in the joint account? I'm a bit confused by his response, I don't see how he is 'owed' it out of a joint account, I'd have thought that makes it family money

I would be moving any spare money out. I would also be snooping to find out what else you can find out.

Do you have kids?
Do you have joint mortgage?

Nat insurance no if you do.
Check mortgage and bills are been paid.

Gambling or planning to leave.

What do you think he is owed it because in my mind money that goes into a joint account for bills doesn't come out unless you had to pay a bill out your own account.

Op is strangely reticent with the details. We should all stop speculating and asking questions until she updates properly as none of us can give appropriate advice until she does.

Thank you all for your responses, I can't update anyone until I have spoken further with him which is going to be better done face to face. Until yesterday I had no idea H had done this, his response has upset me, I owe him nothing. It's not his money, it's joint money.

Where is he, op ?

This thread is all kinds of weird

Update us when you've spoken to him op. I agree with what others have said - move the rest into your own account. I had a similar experience with an ex years ago- unfortunately he'd already cleared the whole account by the time I realised. I only realised when direct debits started bouncing, so I checked the account to find it had been emptied!

H won't talk, gone to bed. I've said to him we have to talk, H won't. Just shuts his eyes and refuses to speak to me.

Can you see what's happening in his account? Do have have each other's passwords?

I am amazed you sound so calm..I am assuming 2 grand out your account is a lot of money.. I would not be allowing him any peace..He hasn't allowed you any.

Not his password, joints not changed. H won't speak, won't explain why he took 2k from account, just won't speak

:(
has he behaved like this before?

How much is left in the account? I think, given the circumstances, you should transfer the remaining amount into your own account. He'll speak then.