Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

dp said we're over.

85 replies

Feelingsolow12345 · 04/08/2016 14:16

dp said we're over but can't gather up myself to actually leave the house. I'm standing outside the front door but my legs won't walk to leave with my son.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 04/08/2016 14:17

I think you'll need to elaborate a bit here OP. Sorry to hear this Flowers

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 04/08/2016 14:22

we argued cause I didn't tidy up what he wanted I said well put your stuff away the i might. he said he can't take it no more then said we're over. I gathered some small stuff and put it all on the pushchair said I'm going then he ignored me. now I'm standing outside wanting to leave but I don't want to. trying my hardest not to cry but failing.

OP posts:
helenatroy · 04/08/2016 14:24

Do you live together?

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 04/08/2016 14:26

Yeah we do. he's now locked both me and his son outside

OP posts:
GottaCatchEmAll137 · 04/08/2016 14:30

Whose house is it? Do you rent or own it together?

BuzzzyBeee · 04/08/2016 14:31

I would be getting my arse back in there and telling him to leave if he wishes. Hope you're ok.

helenatroy · 04/08/2016 14:32

He sounds like he overreacting massively to an argument.

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 04/08/2016 14:34

rented he pays for it but both our names are on the agreement. and he said it's cause he keeps telling me to tidy up.

OP posts:
VioletRoller · 04/08/2016 14:34

What a fucking arsehole! I don't know if this is good advice or not, if it might go in your favour later, but I'd ring the police. Im willing to bet from the little you've said there is a lot more to him.

Don't leave the house if you don't want to - you don't have to speak to him apart from telling him it's over. Don't expect a reaction and don't give any. Just go about your life - only caring for you and son - until this is sorted (i.e. hopefully him out). Don't rise to any bait, he might miss reactions and try to get them. Im sorry you're going through this. Other mners will be along with much better advice. X

SandyY2K · 04/08/2016 14:34

Is it his house?
How long have you been together?

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 04/08/2016 14:36

Apparently I don't listen to him. I do nothing when I'm home all day on maternity leave I should be cleaning the house and all that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 04/08/2016 14:38

no it's rented and in both our names send nearly 4 years.

OP posts:
helenatroy · 04/08/2016 14:39

I forgot that babies look after themselves. The others are right he's an asshole. Tell him you need to come in as you need things, mention the police if you must. Once inside I'd ask him to leave and cool off. Tell him you're willing to have a rational conversation when she has cooled down.

LaConnerie · 04/08/2016 14:44

You need a roof over your head more urgently that he does as you have a baby. Calmly knock on the door and say you need to get back in - as others have said, mention the Police if you have to.

Then tell him if he 'can't take it any more' he needs to find himself somewhere else to live.

Flowers
JugglingFromHereToThere · 04/08/2016 14:53

You need to stay safe though, so am not sure about going back just now.
Do you have somewhere in mind that you would go with your DS at least for now?

toadgirl · 04/08/2016 14:55

What a pig of a man!

He would see his partner and his baby homeless over a petty argument?!

Angry
GottaCatchEmAll137 · 04/08/2016 14:59

Agreed. You have as much right to be in there as he does. If he won't let you back in, you need to ring the police and tell them the situation and that you have a young child with you.

NeedAnotherGlass · 04/08/2016 14:59

He can end the relationship but he cannot kick you out of a house that you are the legal tenant of.
He sounds like a bastard treating you like that.

Bogeyface · 04/08/2016 15:05

Knock once, if he doesnt answer then text him that he has 30 seconds to let you in or you will be calling the police to gain access. Then tell him that if the relationship really is over, he is the one that is to leave as you and your son are going nowhere.

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 04/08/2016 15:06

I'm. back in now. I'm going to leave as I don't pay nothing towards the house. just waiting for this repair man to come then I'm gone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 04/08/2016 15:11

he said he expects the house to be perfectly clean all the time and if that means him leaving a plate on the side I have to clean it. he went if I do stupid things he'll call me stupid and until of do 9 hours of work I can't compromise with him and it's not 50 50

OP posts:
helenatroy · 04/08/2016 15:15

Let's see how clean it is when he's living alone, paying maintenance and only seeing his child at the weekend. Don't discuss anything else with him at the moment and provide him with ammunition. Let's hope the first woman he whinges to puts the blinkered tosser right on a few things.

scampimom · 04/08/2016 15:16

Jesus, march, march away from there as fast as you can, get somewhere safe. He could sack a fecking MAID for "not tidying up", not kick his partner and BABY onto the bloody street?!! WHY ARE YOU NOT FURIOUS WITH THIS PATHETIC BASTARD

GottaCatchEmAll137 · 04/08/2016 15:17

It doesn't matter that you don't pay anything towards the house. You being on maternity leave allows him to go out to work and pay the rent. He wouldn't be able to do that without you. Find out what benefits you would be entitled to as a single mother. If he refuses to pay the rent, he will go into arrears. He can only treat you like this if you let him, OP Flowers

Original poster
Feelingsolow12345 · 04/08/2016 15:27

it's like I can never moan I'm tired or in pain cause I do nothing and he works. I ask him to look after him so I can wash up or do tea and the minute he cries he calls me. he said the reason why we don't have sex is because of my hormones and the aftermath of pregnancy. how am I ever meant to feel good about myself?

OP posts: