Guy I'm dating in car crash - what to do.

[Teaandcakeat8]

As the title says...

I've been dating a guy for 4 months, only saw him yesterday. I haven't heard from him today but he's just text to say he's in hospital as he's been in a car crash. He at least has some broken bones and needs surgery.

I'm feeling awful for him; he's a pilot in training and this is not good news for his job. But I'm really not a sympathetic person and I don't want to annoy him.

Best way to play this? I have text him to ask him to keep me updated and made some terrible jokes. Should I wait to hear from him or text again?

That sounds wrong. As in I am sympathetic but I am awful at expressing it.

Is it ok to also tell him that the sympathy it may be out of character but really I just want to give him a hug?

Can you go and see him?

I don't know which hospital - I have asked but he didn't reply yet. He was away for the weekend so I'm guessing it won't be a local one.

I'm not good at sympathy either. I'm better at the practical stuff. I would be seeing if I could help with car repairs/pet feeding/whatever else needs doing.

You've been seeing him 4 months? You sound as cold as ice. Go see him, give him a hug.

I can't find the hospital if I've asked him which one and he hasn't replied!!

He will probably be a couple of hours away and to make it worse I start a new job tomorrow morning.

see him after work?

If he does reply I could go to see him although it's a three hour drive probably. Haven't heard from him since 6... I hope that's not bad news.

What's with the texting? If my boyfriend rang to say he'd been in an accident I'd phone him.

He messaged me in the first place...

He maybe in theatre - thus no more contact.

Phone him!!

Oops. Never thought of that. Maybe phone and leave a message?

I think id call him and if he doesn't answer leave a voice mail. I reckon if I were him I'd be grateful for the message and to hear your voice.

I'd just say "Hi X, just calling to see how you are and if there's anything I can do. Been thinking of you and worrying how you are since your text. Let me know what hospital you are in and I could maybe come visit after work if you are up for it. Speak to you soon.

Call him, leave a message so if he has gone under he will see something off you when he wakes up.

I had a first date with my DH and I ended up in hospital very late a few days after. He was chopping on the bit to come and see me. He then saw me every day and even fed my cat. All after one date, I had known him for years though. I knew then he was a keeper

Good God I know four months isn't exactly a long term relationship but it's long enough that most people would be worried sick and want to dash to the hospital to be with their boyfriend/girlfriend upon hearing news like this. You talk as if you met him last week.

Do you actually have any strong feelings for him?

Can you contact the people he was with this weekend?

You don't sound particularly worried or upset

Ok he's just messaged me and he doesn't want me to call. He says maybe call him tomorrow. He's also broken his elbow and he won't be coming back for a while. He sounds pretty cold towards me but maybe he is just upset.

He's probably in pain, confused and in shock all at once!

He's probably just feeling like shit - and on lots of meds, could you see him tomorrow after work?

Well he definitely doesn't sound like he wants me to see him. I will try and speak to him tomorrow. If he's broken his elbow he won't be able to type very fast presumably...