Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Guy I'm dating in car crash - what to do.

101 replies

Teaandcakeat8 · 24/07/2016 20:22

As the title says...

I've been dating a guy for 4 months, only saw him yesterday. I haven't heard from him today but he's just text to say he's in hospital as he's been in a car crash. He at least has some broken bones and needs surgery.

I'm feeling awful for him; he's a pilot in training and this is not good news for his job. But I'm really not a sympathetic person and I don't want to annoy him.

Best way to play this? I have text him to ask him to keep me updated and made some terrible jokes. Should I wait to hear from him or text again?

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 25/07/2016 07:14

Presumably he's told you what hospital he is in so you can call it, find out what ward he is in and send a fruit basket.

TheNaze73 · 25/07/2016 07:25

I think you're doing the right thing OP. Everyone is different but, I for one wouldn't want to be made a fuss of, when in hospital. I think he's in the 90% of blokes, who don't talk aimless crap on the phone either. Really wouldn't sweat it. Good luck with the job

UnexpectedBaggage · 25/07/2016 07:29

I'm wondering if he lied about being a pilot. It's a popular lie. And now he needs a reason not to be a pilot any more if he wants to carry on seeing OP.

ImperialBlether · 25/07/2016 07:47

Yes, I'd want to see a guy at the controls of a plane before I'd believe he was a pilot.

icelollycraving · 25/07/2016 07:49

Well after reading your other thread, I think he's messing you around. Concentrate on your new job & push your bf to the back of your mind. I suspect having read both threads he's either a liar/ not into you/ has a few on the go. Any which way, sure you can do better.

AnyFucker · 25/07/2016 08:23

I wonder what the proportion is between guys who lie they are a pilot and those that actually are a pilot

Summerlovinf · 25/07/2016 08:27

What a strange thread...I dated a guy who after a couple of months had motorbike accident and broke his pelvis. He texted me even though he was in a lot of pain and then I went up to the hospital to visit him most days. The relationship was not serious and the hospital was I good few miles away, but even so, it didn't cross my mind not to visit him.

CatherineDeB · 25/07/2016 08:28

I think he is a trainee pilot Wink, many of the people who wash the windscreens are 'pilots' in the pub.

YorkieDorkie · 25/07/2016 08:36

Sorry OP I don't buy it either. I'm not going as far as to say he's lying about the whole thing but something is definitely amiss. This happened to a friend. He "broke his collar bone" in a cycling accident and went to "recover" at his parents' house. She never saw him again because his excuse was he didn't want her to see him injured or meet his parents.

attsca · 25/07/2016 08:38

I went out with a trainee pilot when I was eighteen, there's a lot of them about apparently.

attsca · 25/07/2016 08:42

To be fair, my "trainee pilot" was Italian and did have a sports car.

He had to go though when he aquired a dodgy haircut, these things matter when you're 18.

Olddear · 25/07/2016 08:55

Why didn't he text saying 'I've been in a car accident, I'm in xxx hospital, got a few broken bones they said' he's obvs been able to text in the first place so giving you the name of the hospital wouldn't have been beyond him! I'm suspicious.......

YouAreMyRain · 25/07/2016 08:57

He hasn't hurt himself.

Doinmummy · 25/07/2016 09:03

Op , have you got contact details for any of his family ? Maybe give them a ring ? Have you met his family ?

Original poster
Teaandcakeat8 · 25/07/2016 09:12

He isn't lying about his job, this is getting ridiculous. His house is full of certificates, photographs, etc. He is qualified and learning fly a new aircraft. He has left for work in his uniform numerous times. I have met his colleagues and some of his friends. It would be an incredibly elaborate lie.

At worst he's just not really into it so just leaving it for now seems the best strategy.

OP posts:
attsca · 25/07/2016 09:20

Sorry Tea I was being an arse, this must be upsetting for you.

Anicechocolatecake · 25/07/2016 12:38

I dated a pilot. A real one. Faked a head injury. I just can't believe people do this sort of thing but yes sorry, this is really fishy to me.

Doinmummy · 25/07/2016 12:40

Have you heard from him today ?

KittyKrap · 25/07/2016 12:47

I think you should send him a card at least, let him know you're thinking of him? You said in the first post that you just wanted to give him a hug. Fwiw I dated a guy (LDR) for around 5 months, he was rushed to hospital, boil on the bum (!). I couldn't get over due to work so it was random texts here and there. 6 years on and we're married.

teenybean · 25/07/2016 13:00

Sorry to say it, but I think you've got a Walter Mitty on your hands!

Original poster
Teaandcakeat8 · 25/07/2016 18:35

Yes I have heard, he came home today. He doesn't feel up to company so I am going over tomorrow evening. Thanks for all the helpful responses.

OP posts:
Gabilan · 25/07/2016 19:06

When a friend of mine was in hospital with broken bones, she was on so much morphine she thought there was a door at the end of her bed that opened to the land where the unicorns live. I worked out which hospital she was in but she was sending me texts about pole dancing, not anything comprehensive about what had happened.

conkerpods · 26/07/2016 22:53

How is he OP?

Olddear · 27/07/2016 12:49

I keep reading the title as 'guy I'm dating is a car crash'

Original poster
Teaandcakeat8 · 27/07/2016 23:00

Sorry for the late update.

I have seen him; he looks a bit like mr bump and is feeling sorry for himself but otherwise ok.

I didn't ask if his casts and bandages were just an act but next time I will do...

Thank you again for all of the helpful responses.

OP posts: