Guy I'm dating in car crash - what to do.

[Teaandcakeat8]

As the title says...

I've been dating a guy for 4 months, only saw him yesterday. I haven't heard from him today but he's just text to say he's in hospital as he's been in a car crash. He at least has some broken bones and needs surgery.

I'm feeling awful for him; he's a pilot in training and this is not good news for his job. But I'm really not a sympathetic person and I don't want to annoy him.

Best way to play this? I have text him to ask him to keep me updated and made some terrible jokes. Should I wait to hear from him or text again?

I suspect he is not in hospital at all - sorry

Lost that went through my mind too

Agreed. It does sound very odd op and very convenient that the 'hospital' is some way away. No fear of you turning up.

I was thinking the same thing. Sounds a bit strange that he doesn't want you to call or visit him, and won't tell you where he is. I would be suspicious of his story. Sorry.

I had an ex that tried the 'hospital' trick on me. Turns out he was away with his GF for a couple days. I would be fishing for a bit more info OP

I had an ex that tried the 'hospital' trick on me. Turns out he was away with his GF for a couple days. I would be fishing for a bit more info OP

To be honest, I did think he might not be in hospital. It's all a bit convenient. Far away. Too out of it to be in constant contact, but it means he can reply randomly. Too ill/injured to get home so he doesn't have to show you proof of injuries.

Sadly this happened with me too many moons ago. He had genuinely broken his collar bone but was at home recovering with his wife 😱

I, of course, had no clue he had a wife. 😡

Hope this isn't the case op but seems so strange him not letting you know where he is.

Eh? Proof of injuries would need to be hanging around for about 6 weeks! It's a bit far fetched to lie about breaking bones, tbh. I think it's probably true and he's a bit pissed off with Op's initial responses (ie. the jokes). He will have been in shock, don't forget.

I think this depends on what exactly Op said... but I doubt he's telling porkies!

You can't exactly lie about broken bones...

This all sounds very odd. Did he tell you which hospital or even which area he is in?

If I'd been seeing someone for 4 months & they were that cold along wth being in pain and worried about my career, I think I'd be pretty fucked off too.

I'm suspicious about the pilot thing, too. Sorry!

I think he maybe telling a porky pie the story just doesn't add up.

I've just re-read the OP and noticed that she says she made a few jokes, yeah I'd be pissed if my partner did that after I'd been in a car crash and was hospitalised.

Apologise for being crap initially and potentially offending him but tell him you're great at practical support and are just a phone call away to help with the practical stuff once he's feeling a bit better. I doubt he's faking broken bones - it will be months.

It could be an excuse not to see op for some time. (I did this to avoid someone when I had shingles and made it last weeks .)

What for several months?

I'm another one staying it sounds dodgy. If it were legitimate he'd be asking you to visit him.

yes sou ds dodgy to me

Not really, especially after the OP made a joke.

Plus it sounds like it's happened either today or yesterday, he's probably in shock and he's also not local.

offer to go e.g. ' please let me know if you want me to come to the hospital' or 'do you need anything?' then wait for him to respond.

Plenty of people lie about being sick. It's a perfect excuse to not see someone!

I'd be pushing to go see him in case it is true. Maybe he is just in pain / shocked / lonely. Do you know where he was and who he was with?