Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Guy I'm dating in car crash - what to do.

101 replies

Teaandcakeat8 · 24/07/2016 20:22

As the title says...

I've been dating a guy for 4 months, only saw him yesterday. I haven't heard from him today but he's just text to say he's in hospital as he's been in a car crash. He at least has some broken bones and needs surgery.

I'm feeling awful for him; he's a pilot in training and this is not good news for his job. But I'm really not a sympathetic person and I don't want to annoy him.

Best way to play this? I have text him to ask him to keep me updated and made some terrible jokes. Should I wait to hear from him or text again?

OP posts:
ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 24/07/2016 23:22

I knew it wouldn't be long before the "he's lying" "it's suspicious" "he's with another woman" posts started.

Whenwillthisphaseend · 24/07/2016 23:32

I'd text and let him know your worried about him and ask him if he needs anything or would like a visit.

AbyssinianBanana · 24/07/2016 23:34

Honestly, those people who think he's lying... Have you ever broken a bone in your body and do you realise if you were going to fake an illness, you'd not pick that?

AnyFucker · 24/07/2016 23:35

Hmm

DancingDinosaur · 24/07/2016 23:37

Honestly, those people who think he's lying... Have you ever broken a bone in your body and do you realise if you were going to fake an illness, you'd not pick that?

Why not?

AtrociousCircumstance · 24/07/2016 23:37

Maybe he expected you to be less flippant (joking etc) and immediately offer to come and see him or call him. So he's acting stand-offish because he feels hurt. He may feel that your reaction has shown him he's more invested than you in this new relationship.

MsVTired · 24/07/2016 23:39

I hope it's not the case he's lying that would be awful for OP.

LuluJakey1 · 24/07/2016 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mikkalina · 24/07/2016 23:47

Maybe he doesn't want to see OP anymore as she hasn't tried to call him and made a few jokes when he is unwell. He probably feels that she doesn't want to see him.

LuluJakey1 · 24/07/2016 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Finola1step · 24/07/2016 23:56

He may well have broken his elbow. If he has, I wish him a speedy recovery. I can see that he would be in lots of pain and be a bit off.

But it could well be that he will need about six weeks or so to recover sufficiently enough to catch up with you. And you know what, six weeks is interesting. Very interesting. My dc have just this weekend starting their six week summer holiday.

I would have thought that if this is a case of lying twaticus, then this would be a very convenient time of year to have an "accident". Because it is probably much harder, if a person was cheating, to get away when the kids are on holiday.

Just saying.

Finola1step · 24/07/2016 23:58

Oh, that guy Lulu!

attsca · 25/07/2016 00:00

LuluJakey has it I'm afraid.

Wake up OP, he's taking the mick.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 25/07/2016 00:01

The other op said she was with the guy yday. This one says he's been away all weekend.

OhMyWord16 · 25/07/2016 00:04

No - both OP posts say saw him yesterday.

Cabrinha · 25/07/2016 00:23

And both posters (I think?) are starting a new job tomorrow.

But if that's just coincidence...

You needn't worry really cos once he's out of hospital (just not to be too quick) you need to dump him.

4 months in you don't have to be engaged - but if there's any mileage in it, you should at least be vaguely bothered.

I'm a practical fees your cats rather than wrong hands and hug type myself - but I doubt I'd sound as cold on MN about my boyfriend as you do OP!

Cabrinha · 25/07/2016 00:26

And I think it's bizarre that someone you've been dating for 4 months, presumably someone you have had sex with, is injured and yet you ask MN how to "play it" Confused

attsca · 25/07/2016 00:27

It's hard to know who's kidding who sometimes.

FreeFromHarm · 25/07/2016 00:53

Fish soup.....

Doinmummy · 25/07/2016 00:53

I can't believe he didn't call you in the first place. I would definitely call him tomorrow when he will be back at work after his operation .

dothedab · 25/07/2016 06:43

Well if it is the same guy he has form for letting you down with excuses. At only four months in and long distance I would be rethinking things if I were you.

Original poster
Teaandcakeat8 · 25/07/2016 06:46

I don't think he is lying - why make it so complicated if you wanted to finish it - but he is being quite cold. However I would be too if I just injured myself and now couldn't do my job.

I'm going to leave it now until he gets back in touch.

OP posts:
NisekoWhistler · 25/07/2016 06:53

Good plan, he knows where you are and you've offered your support

Maybebabybee · 25/07/2016 06:58

To those saying it's weird OP hasn't phoned him - I've been with my DP for 4 years and we have a house and a DS and we never phone each other, only text.

Original poster
Teaandcakeat8 · 25/07/2016 07:08

We don't ever really call - which is presumably why he didn't. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, just understand how he might be feeling and not make it all about me.

If I was in a lot of pain, dosed up on meds, didn't know the extent of my injuries I would be annoyed. Add to that my career stalling I would be pretty gutted and angry and probably not wanting to talk a lot.

OP posts: