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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Worried new boyfriend drugged me

81 replies

spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 20:04

Sorry this is a bit random, been seeing new fella, like him lots on same page for lots stuff he's expanding my experiences on lots of things in bedroom , I've said no to some things all fine, enjoying some things I've done with him I've always said no to in the past. Anyway here's the weird bit, last night we had few drinks like we always do tbh ( I will be on the dry thread wen I sort this out!!) but anyway I went from feeling hammered and going to bed together as usual to suddenly finding myself fuckin him in a strange position totally uninhibited and feeling really odd! Then coming and doing the same again in another position, it just was odd, and I have a horrible feeling that my Mr perfect slipped something in my drink, I'm gutted if he did but I've taken drugs in my younger days and know the difference, I can't imagine feeling like I felt last night off a bottle of wine!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 06/12/2015 20:05

If you even have to ask then get rid of him

Goingtobeawesome · 06/12/2015 20:05

So what are you going to do about it?

pocketsaviour · 06/12/2015 20:08

suddenly finding myself fuckin him

Do you mean that you regained conciousness and found you were having sex? Like, you'd been asleep/passed out and then when you came to, you were already having sex?

Or is there a clear line of memory from you getting into bed then doing something unusual, you may be unsure of why you did it but you can remember how you got there?

OTheHugeManatee · 06/12/2015 20:12

Whether he drugged you or not he raped you. He fucked you while you were unconscious. That's rape.

Run away now and never see this man again.

Racmactac · 06/12/2015 20:21

Phone the police and report him, if you go quickly enough they can test you for drugs

UtterlyClueless · 06/12/2015 20:24

I'm confused if you woke up to yourself having sex that's rape.

If not then you need to be more clear

If you honestly think he drugged you get rid and request a blood test asap

eddielizzard · 06/12/2015 20:24

yes, i wonder if there is a way to test if you still have drugs in your bloodstream? a&e?

so sorry. Flowers it does sound to me like something dodgy.

ChampagneTastes · 06/12/2015 20:25

That's rape. Call the police. Hope you're ok.

Original poster
spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 20:26

No sorry I explained that wrong, went to bed and had sex as per usual but I was on top reverse cowgirl totally carefree enjoying it totally and came a fair few times various positions....definitely not rape but I would obviously be tamping if he put something in my drink, and I can't say for sure if he did or didn't, it's that I was drunk so it's a bit blurry thing. I'll just have to be vigilant I guess, till I know him better, but I just remember coming and feeling really high, not just drunk and I don't know it made me wonder.... I wish I'd gone to look at my pupils in the mirror now that might have told me, obviously I can't say anything to him I may well have just been drunk!! That's the problem I hate thinking this, especially as I've been thinking he's too good to be true!

OP posts:
whatsforsupper · 06/12/2015 20:26

Christ, I think you need too contact the police, it sounds like rape.

I know this much come as a awful shock I hope you're okay.

whatsforsupper · 06/12/2015 20:30

Drugging you is absolutely wrong there is no two ways about it.

Id ask him what happened his reaction should speak volumes. After that Id be dumping him.

Original poster
spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 20:30

I would love a blood test for a definite answer but I honestly can't go and say this to my doctor!!

OP posts:
UtterlyClueless · 06/12/2015 20:34

Okay it's not rape just different to what you'd normally do.

Is there a chance you just felt more comfortable with him? I would still get bloods just incase because if you have been drugged you need to get away from him and report him.

You can say this to your Dr or a nurse can request the bloods, even some walk ins allow for bloods for the likes of this. It better to know isn't it?

Lweji · 06/12/2015 20:35

Ok, if you were totally conscious throughout and willing, then not rape.
But you feel as if he slipped you something to change how you usually react, possibly agree to things you normally don't.
At best, he'd be guilty of drugging you without your consent and that's bad enough. It could have had serious health consequences.
In any case, you don't seem to trust him, so that would be the end of it for me.

Canyouforgiveher · 06/12/2015 20:35

If you even have to ask then get rid of him

This. Do you seriously think you should be in a relationship/having sex with someone where you think you have to be vigilant about whether he drugs you or not? Treat yourself better than that.

you think you were drugged for a reason - you felt drugged, you did things you wouldn't do unless you were drugged. Most people don't assume they were slipped something when they get a bit uninhibited after a few glasses of wine. There is a reason you do.

pretend · 06/12/2015 20:39

If the thought even enters your head, get rid.

eddielizzard · 06/12/2015 20:41

get a blood test asap. the longer you leave it, the more likely it'll have left your bloodstream. a&e? you don't need to see your gp.

and really, the fact that you're thinking this means this guy has got to be dead in the water. don't give him another chance. by seeing him again you're giving him a green light that it's ok to drug you. trust your instincts. trust your instincts!

Goingtobeawesome · 06/12/2015 20:41

You think this man may have drugged you yet you are planning on doing nothing and will carry on seeing him? really?

Please tell someone in real life and I'll,eat my hat if they don't tell you what everyone here is telling you.

He might be good in the sack but he is not a good man if he has drugged you. It will get worse if he has.

ImperialBlether · 06/12/2015 20:42

Did you wash all the glasses from last night? Is there one in your bedroom by any chance that you haven't washed yet?

Original poster
spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 20:42

That's it utterly clueless and lweji it felt like he'd given me something to help me let go/or maybe do things I wouldn't usually, but a part of me thinks maybe I was more comfortable with him etc which I am, he's been Mr perfect up until now and I actually felt I'm falling for him. If this is just a drunk,mess up on my part I don't want to lose this, but I just felt high and I dunno. Maybe I should bite the bullet and go for bloods first thing tomorrow I could make something up that doesn't make me sound like a stupid drunk twit!!

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 06/12/2015 20:46

I just remember coming and feeling really high

Hmm, well I have sometimes had a very strong orgasm and it's made me feel dizzy and pretty stoned.

You said in your OP that you've taken drugs in the past - did it feel like the high from any of those?

TBH I can't think of anything he could have given you via a drink that would have this effect. GHB/Rohypnol you would have been semi-conscious, is my understanding.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 06/12/2015 20:46

I'd trust your instinct on this one, you know in your heart that it was something other than being drunk. You shouldn't feel you need to be vigilant around him.3

Original poster
spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 20:49

Glasses are pretty much washed now...well mines been in a bowl ready for washing as out all day today. I can't do anything nasty or accuse him, he is honestly lovely and I would in no way expect nasty behaviour from him it could well have been me, being drunk, and then like someone said enjoying new things but, it's just I have this niggling suspicion it wasn't, and I'm annoyed because if he just asked me I'd agree to most things but if he's done anything behind my back obviously I'm annoyed!!

OP posts:
Lweji · 06/12/2015 20:51

If you do want to do a blood test, I'd do it ASAP. I'd pop in at A&E and explain the situation.
Some drugs disappear really quickly. Even if it's negative it doesn't mean he didn't give you anything.
In that case, I'd ask him about him as if it was nothing and observe his reaction.

Have a little think, though. He may well have been playing Mr perfect to get you on board with his sexual preferences. It could be an act. Ask yourself why and how exactly you've been saying yes to many. Are you really comfortable? Does he seem real? For some reason your mind associated feeling weird with him drugging you.

Trust your instincts.

MerdeAlor · 06/12/2015 20:52

I know you say it felt different than drunk but was there anything different last night? Did you drink something else? Did you drink on an empty stomach? Do you feel well in yourself? Is your hangover different, less or more than usual. Could you have been hyperventilating a little?

Just trying to help you process this a little more OP.