Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Worried new boyfriend drugged me

81 replies

spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 20:04

Sorry this is a bit random, been seeing new fella, like him lots on same page for lots stuff he's expanding my experiences on lots of things in bedroom , I've said no to some things all fine, enjoying some things I've done with him I've always said no to in the past. Anyway here's the weird bit, last night we had few drinks like we always do tbh ( I will be on the dry thread wen I sort this out!!) but anyway I went from feeling hammered and going to bed together as usual to suddenly finding myself fuckin him in a strange position totally uninhibited and feeling really odd! Then coming and doing the same again in another position, it just was odd, and I have a horrible feeling that my Mr perfect slipped something in my drink, I'm gutted if he did but I've taken drugs in my younger days and know the difference, I can't imagine feeling like I felt last night off a bottle of wine!

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 06/12/2015 20:53

What makes you think he will have drugged you ? Why would you think that has happened rather than you just being drunk and having a good time? It wouldn't cross my mind that DH had drugged me if I had a drink, then sex and felt weird because he is a decent bloke and drugs are not part of my mindset.

Original poster
spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 20:56

Sorry to people saying I should just get rid but why? He's done nothing wrong as far as I KNOW maybe I was just high from great sex and I no it wasn't a date rape drug type feeling more speed/pills I couldn't get enough and didn't care what I looked like although I did come which let's face it I wouldn't have on most of those things?! Maybe I am just paranoid and I have found a decent one.......

OP posts:
Fatrascals · 06/12/2015 20:58

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Original poster
spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 21:09

It's so hard to know what to do though, really I can't accuse someone of that if I'm wrong that's horrible. And it definitely felt different from normal drunk sex and if I'm to trust my instinct then something is up. I know he has viagra what would that do to me? There's some shady stuff gone on with his ex makes me wonder if something happened there....

OP posts:
UtterlyClueless · 06/12/2015 21:09

You could always say you think you was drugged on a night out and not mention him unless you it comes up that you have been drugged then contact the police

TaintForTheLikesOfWe · 06/12/2015 21:11

I would ring him and draw him in a bit. Say to him that you had a good time and what was it he gave you? If he says nothing more than a length - fine but drawn in, he may feel he can tell you, thinking you would be up for some more of it and bam! You have your answer and can make an informed decision right there and then. Asked in the cold light of day and he may lie. A late night pretend slightly drunk sexy phone call and he may spill.

pocketsaviour · 06/12/2015 21:13

Viagra wouldn't have any effect on you apart from increasing blood flow. It wouldn't make you feel high.

There's some shady stuff gone on with his ex makes me wonder if something happened there....

Okay, what?

I'm not seeing how you've leaped from "I had great sex with this relatively new guy last night, it was like I felt open and trusting and wasn't self-conscious about how I looked" to "OMG I think he must have drugged me."

Does he use drugs recreationally? Has he asked you to take drugs with him, or have sex while high?

Lweji · 06/12/2015 21:19

You aren't married, living together or have kids.
At these early stages you don't have to know anything to dump anyone. Too many of us have ignored those initial nigglings and got burnt.

And shady stuff with an ex would always be a red flag, unless it was very clear that the shady part was on her side.

littlenicky61 · 06/12/2015 21:20

I might be inclined to say to him that you haven't felt right since the other night and the doctor has recommended a full blood test - his face may well tell you what you need to know

flanjabelle · 06/12/2015 21:20

Taints idea might work. If he really didn't give you anything you can laugh it off together and gloat about what good sex it was. His reaction should give you an idea though.

What happened with his ex?

DrMorbius · 06/12/2015 21:21

Did your nose feel a little blocked?

reni2 · 06/12/2015 21:21

If you don't trust him not to drug you, this relationship is doomed anyway. What else do you not trust him with?

Not violating my body like that would be number 1 on my list or thereabout.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 06/12/2015 21:22

Did you feel like you were doing stuff you had previously said no to?

What happened with his ex?

Original poster
spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 21:22

Nope neither of us do drugs anymore both been there done that. I'm starting to think it was just me. His ex well I don't know all of that obviously only what he's told me but if he turned out to be nasty it would explain the stuff he has told me. Sorry to have posted something abit pointless but thanks for all the help, I'll definitely think on it!

Thanks fatrascals totally true and helpful post!! And thanks meredealore but no nothing was different I just thought back I ate dinner first as usual then we drank, I just don't want him to turn out to be untrustworthy but maybe what I deserve

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 06/12/2015 21:31

I just don't want him to turn out to be untrustworthy but maybe what I deserve

Why on earth would you think this? It sounds like you are carrying around a lot of guilt for some reason?

MrsLupo · 06/12/2015 21:35

Liquid ecstasy could have that effect, OP, but it won't show up in blood or urine anymore and if he's in the habit of using it he will probably know that (in terms of calling his bluff). It would however show up in a hair sample, if subsequent events seem to justify forensic testing. Most people whose drinks are spiked have them spiked with stronger forms of alcohol than they thought they were having, though, so don't feel bad that you didn't consider getting tested sooner, as in all likelihood nothing suspicious would have shown up anyway.

My experience of drug-spiked drinks is that if you suspect it you're probably right. I does indeed feel very different from just being drunk, different even from being very very drunk. So fwiw, I think you should take your suspicions seriously. Take care, OP.

Original poster
spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 21:36

Well aren't we all really, but I didn't mean it like that! More that we all we have a past and I don't expect him to be perfect, I am far from that!! So long as we can be honest with each other that's the only thing. I hope he is, tbh and I am the demented one imagining things!!

OP posts:
Wolpertinger · 06/12/2015 21:41

The most common drug people are drugged with in drinks by far is alcohol. Most people turning up in A+E saying their drink has been spiked are just drunk - either because they have underestimated how much they have drunk or because someone was secretly buying doubles. In one study only 2% of people had actually had their drink spiked with a drug of abuse - it's much rarer than people think.

If you are happy with this guy, and happy with the sex you had, could it just be how much you were drinking?

But nobody deserves someone untrustworthy. If you have niggles now, let him go and spend some time learning to value you.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 06/12/2015 21:44

I'm struggling to think what he could of gave you, maybe a tiny bit of ketamine or mdma or something.

What exactly were you drinking?

It does seem a really large jump to make tbh though to suspect he could of drugged you.

Original poster
spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 21:53

Thanks wolpertinger very interesting maybe I was more drunk than I thought!! But also from what I've just read I'm going to go on as usual and then atleast I will know for definite what's going on.

OP posts:
Original poster
spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 21:58

Oh and Mrs lupo yes spot on what I felt last night was totally different from being drunk, it was such a different high I think I might ask him casually if he slipped me a viagra say it was lush what was it I'd love more, but if I have any offers back obviously won't take him up on them!

OP posts:
randomuser12 · 06/12/2015 22:00

I agree with wolpertinger that it is highly unusual that drugs are used to spike. Please ignore everyone telling you to go to A&E or your doctors. You do not seem to be feeling unwell- If you were spiked this is a criminal matter not a medical one. If you want it investigating call the police. This is not part of the NHS's remit. It would be highly unusual for A&E even to have access to drug testing.

ElfOnTheBoozeShelf · 06/12/2015 22:01

The fact that you even think it is possible means you need to get out.

MrsLupo · 06/12/2015 22:10

In one study only 2% of people had actually had their drink spiked with a drug of abuse - it's much rarer than people think.

But NB that drugs of abuse typically used to spike drinks have a short-ish half life. Ketamine about 2 or 3 hours, liquid ecstasy only about half an hour. Average A&E wait 4 hours.

In my personal experience, it's shockingly common. Don't really want to elaborate more, sorry, as it could be quite identifying.

Cleotaurus17 · 06/12/2015 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread