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Original poster

Worried new boyfriend drugged me

81 replies

spankingnewme · 06/12/2015 20:04

Sorry this is a bit random, been seeing new fella, like him lots on same page for lots stuff he's expanding my experiences on lots of things in bedroom , I've said no to some things all fine, enjoying some things I've done with him I've always said no to in the past. Anyway here's the weird bit, last night we had few drinks like we always do tbh ( I will be on the dry thread wen I sort this out!!) but anyway I went from feeling hammered and going to bed together as usual to suddenly finding myself fuckin him in a strange position totally uninhibited and feeling really odd! Then coming and doing the same again in another position, it just was odd, and I have a horrible feeling that my Mr perfect slipped something in my drink, I'm gutted if he did but I've taken drugs in my younger days and know the difference, I can't imagine feeling like I felt last night off a bottle of wine!

OP posts:
SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 06/12/2015 22:15

What about it in particular felt like being high? See if you can out your finger on it.

And did it remind you of anything in particular you have taken before?

Cleotaurus17 · 06/12/2015 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissApple · 06/12/2015 23:25

Watch him pour the drinks next time - or you pour them. Or better still, drink bottled cider/WKd/beer

Canyouforgiveher · 06/12/2015 23:53

Watch him pour the drinks next time - or you pour them. Or better still, drink bottled cider/WKd/beer

Great advice if you are locked in a castle with a man you don't quite trust.

In my world if you don't quite trust a man, you dump him. Maybe you are right maybe you are wrong about him but you certainly don't arse around watching him pour your drinks and wondering if he is doctoring them. Seriously, expect and want more for yourself from a relationship.

UtterlyClueless · 07/12/2015 05:34

A&Es can perform drug tests but not for someone walking in the day after.

Liquid ecstasy can remain in the system for 1-5 days but you would experience a come down.

I doubt you've been spiked because you haven't had any symptoms of a come down or Atleast you haven't mentioned having any.

ImperialBlether · 07/12/2015 11:43

Watch him pour the drinks next time...

You think there should be a next time if the OP feels she was drugged this time?

definitelybutter1 · 07/12/2015 11:56

My neighbour said that speed made her come more.

Maybe you should reconsider, not because he may have drugged you but because that uncomfortable niggle that tells you that something isn't right is unlikely to go away. There will be always that little doubt, that little thread hanging that won't let you entirely relax.

Try going out with him sober ('you wouldn't believe the hangover I had last time...') and see how things go then. Or just quit. The longer you date, the harder it is to walk, and that little niggle could end up corrosive.

MerdeAlor · 07/12/2015 12:29

I suspect you may have been hyperventilating during sex. It can give you a high feeling.
Just look out for any red flags in the relationship, in particular what he has to say about his ex.
Regardless of whatever happened, you are on alert, so look at the reason for that. Is your dickhead alarm going off or are you having difficulty trusting him?

Original poster
spankingnewme · 07/12/2015 13:23

Merdealor I don't think the dick head alarm is going off! But yes maybe having trouble trusting him, it's been a bit of a whirlwind thing have tried to not get too attached too quickly but feel like I have anyway... And that's interesting about hyperventilating I guess it could have been...

OP posts:
eddielizzard · 07/12/2015 14:07

bloody hell definitelybutter, what sort of convos do you have with your neighbour over the garden fence??!

Iadmit · 07/12/2015 14:29

Guys can we please stop with advising OP to to A&E for a drugs test? A&E don't have the facilities for drug testing. They can test your blood alcohol levels and that's it.

If you genuinely believe you were drugged then attend the police station who will arrange for the relevant people to carry out the tests.

definitelybutter1 · 07/12/2015 14:39

eddielizzard I had surprising ones with that neighbour. She had an unneutered lady cat and they seemed to have similar lifestyles. I nodded and smiled a lot as the strongest thing I was taking at the time was tea. I think she thought it fun to shock me. I wasn't shocked. I was educated about things that I really didn't want education about.

Sorry for the derail, OP, and I am hoping it works out but if you have that niggle, for whatever reason, it's hard and trying to squish it into the back of your mind can get unhealthy.

definitelybutter1 · 07/12/2015 14:44

Sorry, didn't mean to sound judgey about someone having a great love life. It's whatever makes you feel good and comfortable. It doesn't sound like the OP felt good and comfortable. It may be something that could be worked at.

SanityClause · 07/12/2015 15:06

If you believe he may have drugged you, but you're not sure enough to dump him, the only solution is to remain sober with him, until you trust him more.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 07/12/2015 15:25

Op what were the symptoms, other than disinhibition?
E.g. excessive drink has different symptoms to hyperventilation.

What exactly made you think you were high?

E.g. I experience a sensation during really good sex that is similar to a sensation I used to get back in the days of bongs. And I know its not just me because another friend said the same. Its a very particular sensation.

So can you describe it? Or did you just feel disorientated? Or euphoric?

MerdeAlor · 07/12/2015 18:50

I agree, it could just be really fantastic sex

BlissfullyUnknown · 07/12/2015 19:02

Something similar happened to me once. I told a friends who's husband happened to be a policeman and he spoke to me.

I got tested less than 24 hours after and it turned out I had been drugged.

If you believe this man may have drugged you I think you owe it to yourself to find out.

Sweetsweetjane · 07/12/2015 19:19

At the risk of sounding drug addled, in my experience most drugs are more likely too numb sensation rather than encourage multiple orgasms.
I am not the spokesperson for all drugs though. Ecstasy certainly heightens the horny feeling but as far as I can remember it doesn't do much for actual orgasms, unless I was just unlucky...
WRT to date rape type drugs, I've never knowingly tried them but have a fair bit of benzo and opiate experience and these certainly numb sensation, as well as delay orgasm.
I am talking years ago tho, so there may well be drugs that make you come joyously but I have never had the pleasure.
I seem to be one of these rare birds that has barely ever orgasmed through penetration alone.

MissApple · 07/12/2015 19:28

Get tested.

Original poster
spankingnewme · 08/12/2015 05:07

Blissfully unknown what was it that you'd been spiked with did it turn out? see I didn't know you could get liquid ecstasy these days! The feeling I had was euphoria and the insatiable horny feeling I used to get wen on ecstasy /mdma type things. I don't really know whether he'd be able to get that kind of stuff anymore as I just assumed really it was all behind him now and he's painted this picture of all the dodgy things he's done being 'a long time ago ' which is totally fine with me as thou hast also fucked up in the past. Lol at the neighbour telling how speed made her come hard!! I never used to come on speed, but sometimes on other drugs I'd enjoy it more. The sensation I had was totally magnified sensitivity and like I said I had an amazing orgasm and then think I just went at it again and felt totally disorientated inbetween. It's going to be horrible now on the wknd wondering if something might happen again but I am definitely on red alert to it now probably too late now for a drug test?? Plus I'm really not sure enough in myself to do it but anything else fishy that happens I won't hesitate to go. I haven't touched class a drugs in a long time I'd be seriously pissed off to be spiked.

OP posts:
Offred · 08/12/2015 10:51

I think whether or not he drugged you is not the issue.

You have had sex with him whilst feeling as though you were not fully in control. Whatever the reason or whoever to blame that makes me think you need to finish this relationship and do some work on your self esteem and boundaries.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 08/12/2015 15:55

I too think that if you are having these types of thoughts, even if you're now doubting them, something doesn't seem quite right.

Why did your mind leap to being drugged?

  • Is it because your symptoms don't make sense unless drugs are involved?
  • Or is it that you've had conversations that make drugging someone a possible behavior from this man?
  • or is it that instinctively, you aren't feeling safe around him, and this is the way that feeling is coming out?
  • or is this because you've had bad relationships or experiences in the past which have left you feeling that people trampling over your boundaries and exploiting you is something that happens in relationships?

Or a mix of things?!

I think the actual drugs are a bit of a red herring, and it's you and your reactions to this man that you need to be looking at.

By the way, relationships where you're having to try and pretend you're happy he drugged you and you want him to do it again... Not normal, not equal, not healthy.

Original poster
spankingnewme · 08/12/2015 18:42

My mind leapt to being drugged because I felt high!! Something the likes of I haven't felt in a fair few yrs.... There were no red flags from him, I actually felt like I'd met 'the one' corny I know but have not felt like this in a long time, and I was purposefully single for a good while after leaving long term relationship as I wanted to be in the right place for trying again. And then he came along we both seemed to click and be falling for each other. the only thing makes me think, is he is into things I'm not sexually and what if he knows how easy it is to slip something in someone's drink.... But no it's not a normal conclusion is it? I've never had anything like that happen to me in the past either and I've seen some arseholes :-( he is just quite insistent on things he likes and wants to do, to the point where I change my mind and think ok i'll try it, and I wonder if he's thought I'd be easier to manipulate on something?! I really should lay off drink around him that would help a lot, just easier said than done for me at the moment...

OP posts:
Original poster
spankingnewme · 08/12/2015 18:53

Small legsorsmalleggs I felt dizzy, high, it's so hard to say a definite drug feeling but it reminded me of how I used to be wen young and high, bit vulnerable feeling, like they could do anything and I'd go along and probably enjoy it at the time! There is nothing remotely dodgy about him now, actually very respectable job, but I suppose I don't know him well enough to be sure yet everyone obviously hides their worst side,..time will tell and I really hope I'm wrong. Next time, (if there is one hopefully not) I'll be straight to police he won't get away with it. tbh I feel like I've a bit of a comedown after drinking and little sleep anyway so wouldn't necessarily notice. I will definitely catch him out if he's up to something, I'm naturally suspicious but just don't want to throw away a good thing if I'm being paranoid

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 08/12/2015 20:17

He's insistent about sexual things that he wants you do do that you don't want to and wears you down until you give in? The more you write about him, the worse he sounds.

There is nothing remotely dodgy about him now, actually very respectable job

OP, men in respectable jobs also drug women, it's not the preserve of the proletariat you know. In fact, many sexually violent men hide behind their "respectable job" reputation to do exactly this.