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Relationships

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Original poster

How often does your DP go out?

79 replies

BlueBananas · 03/06/2015 20:43

I'm sure this has been done before but the search bar is throwing up some really random unrelated results at me

Anyway how often does your DP/DH go out? And when they do what kind of time do they get in? Do you know where they are/who they're with when they're out?

At this point I just feel like I've lost all sight of what's normal and acceptable

OP posts:

MirandaGoshawk · 03/06/2015 20:45

You mean out for a drink with mates, or whatever? Mine never goes out. I wish he would sometimes! Well, he's been to the pictures with DS (21) but that's about it.

FenellaFellorick · 03/06/2015 20:49

not very much any more, maybe once every few months. When he does, he comes back anywhere between midnight and the following morning, depending on where he's gone. Sometimes I know where he is, sometimes I don't.

He used to go out a lot more and stay out all night. He's 50 now and far too old for that shit on a weekly basis. It used to bother me. Nowadays I am just pleased to have a night to myself.

What's normal and acceptable is what is acceptable to you. If you feel that your situation is not right for you, you are allowed to feel that. It doesn't matter what other people do. They don't have your life. You have to be happy with your situation.

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 03/06/2015 20:52

Mine is never, like never ever, OK, he'll go to a football match without me maybe a couple of times a year but home straight after it, and I think that's it. He never goes out drinking, ever. I only go out once in a blue moon, everything else we do together or together with other people.

We have a 6mo but it was the same prior to dd too.

This wasn't a decision on either part, it's just the way we've been since we met.

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 03/06/2015 20:53

(strangely enough we met on a night out!, now we both hate the thought of a night out!)

We are 27 and 28. I know we sound more like 77 and 78 haha

MumSnotBU · 03/06/2015 20:54

He goes out cycling three time a week with friends and about fortnightly to the pub on a week night.

Original poster

BlueBananas · 03/06/2015 21:08

Thankyou for all the replies
Fenella you're right, I was just thinking if I saw some situations like mine I might realise I'm asking too much. But you're right people want different things in a relationship

OP posts:

CoolAs10Fonzies · 03/06/2015 21:47

dp goes out to darts every thursday and comes home around midnight.

he also goes to his mates on a sat/sun afternoon when footie is on.

he is out doing his hobby every wednesday night and is home around 8pm

we both go out drinking every second friday with our mates

we have 4 dc. However work iyr social time around the dc being at either their mums or their dads (does that make sense)

ashtrayheart · 03/06/2015 21:50

I go out more than dp. When he goes out he stays out overnight as his friends are a distance away in a village that he used to live in and he's really irritating when he's drunk

2rebecca · 03/06/2015 21:58

Twice a week on an evening music related hobby plus usually out cycling over the weekend at least once.
I'm out 1-2 evenings a week plus do sporting stuff at weekends. Kids now teenagers/early 20s and only 1 left at home.
I like having the house to myself sometimes. If he was constantly under my feet and never wanted to go anywhere I'd find him very boring.
We usually know where the other is and are rarely out after 10pm and usually driving so sober.

MMcanny · 03/06/2015 22:04

A handful of times a year, I know where he is, he drinks heavily and about half the times stays out all night. I also go out a handful of times a year but don't drink too much and come home almost always. I do however go out when he's at work and the kid are at school for daytime lunches with friends, I also go to the gym 5-7 times per week, maybe half of those times he will be home alone with the kids. I might go out two or three times a week shopping and leave him in with the kids. Then there is work when I'm out late. He only works late three days a month, I do it 16 days a month. And now the kids are a bit bigger I've started going hols with friends, he is not at all interested, I might go 1-3 times per year for a weekend or a week, half the time I'll take the kids and leave him home alone, the rest is 'me time'. He might have a weekend away once a year or once every two years and mostly takes the kids. He's been on holiday twice for a week without me in 20 years.

Joysmum · 03/06/2015 22:07

Rarely, it's a huge problem for me as since he's lost both his parents all he has is us and work.

I'm trying to get him to find outside interests as it's getting too stifling.

Imnotbeverley · 03/06/2015 22:11

Mine often stays for a drink or two after work on a Friday but gets home by 9pm. He is also a big fan of our local football team and holds a season ticket, so attends home games approx twice a month on a Saturday during the season.

He used to drink a lot socially (in his twenties, drank in his local most nights) before we got together but that has changed completely.

He is very generous with me having time to myself if I want it, encourages me to socialise if I want (or more likely, sleep lots). We both prefer to be at home together cooking and watching films though. Might be because we have an 18 month old and I am pg with number 2 that we are so boring!

Jackiebrambles · 03/06/2015 22:12

Not often really. Once a week to play football and he has a pint afterwards. But just 'out' for drinks, probably once a month if that?

Missymoomoo1979 · 03/06/2015 22:14

Never, I pester him to meet his mates but he never does, although since going back to work after Mat leave I've worked a few Sundays and he's an absolute nightmare to get up if he's had a drink, so I'm quite glad he hasn't.

Whatnext2015 · 03/06/2015 22:14

29 here dh 28.he goes to the gym 4
Nights in the week 7-9pm

And goes out sometimes every weekend once. 8/9pm till 2:30 ish? I love having the house to myself.

I go put every other week I guess, either to a mates for a tea child free or the pub? I'm back by midnight. I'm such a cheap date lol

Tommy · 03/06/2015 22:14

mine went to a scouts meeting this evening so I was looking forward to a rare solitary night in alone.
Just had my first sip of wine and he came home - typical

AnyFucker · 03/06/2015 22:16

Gym 3 times a week 5-6 pm, then he ferries DS to his hobbies

To the pub for the last hour once every couple of weeks

A "night out" until probably 2am about twice a year

A weekend sports trip annually

Whathaveilost · 03/06/2015 22:17

About once every 3 months or so with a couple of work colleagues. They go on a pub crawl that starts way past our house and I usually see them strolling past. He's usually back by midnight and get dropped off by one of the blokes as his wife comes to pick him up . ( those two then go off for a curry in town)

He goes out with DS1 and DS2 to the pictures quite frequently. I'm always asked if I want to go but I don't always bother.

CatMilkMan · 03/06/2015 22:18

Roughly twice a week together and twice a week separately times getting home really varies, during the week normally by midnight but on weekends we sometimes stay out all night. When separate we know roughly what we will be doing and when we will be home/who we will be with but nothing exact since plans change a lot.

Fairylea · 03/06/2015 22:18

Never. Well maybe once a year for the works christmas do and he moans about it non stop :) he's only 28 but he's a proper hermit, like me really. Much prefers to just be at home.

My ex dh was out every week with his work mates on a Friday night and would often crash at one of his friends until Saturday. It drove me nuts and was one of the reasons we split up.

gamerchick · 03/06/2015 22:22

Tonight he went out about 8 and probably won't be back till 5amish. It's bloody great, me and the teen son are having a mint time I'm sorry I have to chase him to bed in a bit for school.

Sallystyle · 03/06/2015 22:23

Maybe once every couple of months for an hour in the afternoon with a relative to the pub.

He hates going out. His idea of fun is going for long walks on his own to nature reserves practising his botany. When he does that it is daytime (obviously)

Neither of us are big on going out. I get out more than him, I go through stages where I go to the local pub to see a band once a week then I have months where I don't go out at all.

PatriciaHolm · 03/06/2015 22:25

Averages once a weekish I think for drinks with friends?

Goes skiiing with friends for a weekend a couple of times a year, one sports weekend, one driving weekend.

AnyFucker · 03/06/2015 22:26

5am on a school night, gamer ?

Does he not work ?

gamerchick · 03/06/2015 22:31

Yes but Thursday's are like our Sunday's to him. He works flat out all weekend.

We both get a day off each week where we do nothing in the house, tomorrow is his day off so he's gone fishing.

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