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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How often does your DP go out?

79 replies

BlueBananas · 03/06/2015 20:43

I'm sure this has been done before but the search bar is throwing up some really random unrelated results at me Confused

Anyway how often does your DP/DH go out? And when they do what kind of time do they get in? Do you know where they are/who they're with when they're out?

At this point I just feel like I've lost all sight of what's normal and acceptable

OP posts:
Preciousbane · 03/06/2015 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 03/06/2015 22:32

ah, not a school night then Smile

singlemumoftwins · 03/06/2015 22:35

Dp and I are out all the time, separately but also together

What are you all doing with your nights in?! Apart from MNing of course watch is what I'm doing tonight Smile

gamerchick · 03/06/2015 22:37

Not for him no. Lucky thing that he is, kids are at school his days off Grin

Judydreamsofhorses · 03/06/2015 22:39

Football home games and sometimes a drink after, occasional away games which can be overnight stays (usually at a friend's house), and an annual lads' weekend away at cricket. Other than that, the odd gig. He doesn't drink often and can easily go months on soft drinks. We go out together 2/3 times a month, usually meals/cinema.

sparklyDMs · 03/06/2015 22:42

Blue, my DH goes out every weekend, I'm never entirely sure where, he's very difficult to contact and will think nothing of going out for 'a couple of beers' but then coming home at some point during the next day. On Saturday he went out at 2am.
None of this is really ok with me tbh I think it unreasonable - he does know this, it gets a fair bit of discussion.

MyCatIsAGit · 03/06/2015 22:43

About 3 times a year he'll be out after midnight, works night out normally, but I'll know he'll likely be back late. He's a lightweiight so on the 3 or so times a year he's out with mates he's usually home before twelve.

He's out sometimes for work entertaining clients bug again usually back by 10.30 for that.

I wish he went out more, no hobbies and most social stuff is around family.

I'd like more time to myself and not to feel responsible for his entertainment.

GiniCooper · 03/06/2015 22:44

Never.
Actually bothers him every so often but he still doesn't make the effort with anyone.

I don't just mean the pub. I mean everything.

BackforGood · 03/06/2015 22:46

My dh is crequently not her, but I'm not sure if it's the "not being in the house" you mean, or if you mean "out on the razz"? As that would be very diffent answers.
He goes for a meal or drink after work perhaps once every 2 months or so, but most socialising combines with his hobby which takes him away for weekends perhaps 2 out of 4 times

Dansak · 03/06/2015 22:47

He goes out once a week for a hobby until 11ish. Out drinking very rarely now, handful of times a year until early hours. I would have a rough idea of where he is.

We go out together about once a month and I go out about once a month but usually home by 11.

We're happy with that, suits with having small children, busy jobs and limited finances.

Lauren83 · 03/06/2015 22:47

Mine doesn't go out, just to the gym every day that's it

BackforGood · 03/06/2015 22:49

*frequently
*not here
Blush

AnyFucker · 03/06/2015 22:50

DM's I would find that completely unacceptable

you say you have "talked" about it but he carries on ?

oh dear

Whathaveilost · 03/06/2015 22:59

5am on a school night, gamer

Does he not work?

Blimey quick to jump on someone's life style! How come 'Does he not work' was the question and not is he on annual leave, paternity leave, is he a shift worker or is it his day off?

sparklyDMs · 03/06/2015 23:31

Any - oh dear does sum up the situation I'm in. I keep hoping that there'll be a radical change in behaviour.. I know I can't keep on forever though Hmm

CatMilkMan · 04/06/2015 02:08

This was my night out and I'm now home. I think I don't even I don't know.

FolkGirl · 04/06/2015 04:03

I don't have a dp, but I go out 2 nights a week for hobbies. Oneinvolves going to the pub afterwards. I get back around midnight.

I go out at least one night every other weekend and quite often for a midweek drink/meal with friends if time/work/funds allow.

I wouldn't expect to change this for a partner and I'd probably expect similar from them.

I would expect us to go out together too though.

bwow · 04/06/2015 05:34

My dh goes to the pub every night after work but is in by 5.30 so can't really pull my face at that. Since dd was born he's been out quite a few times. Always gets in way after 3, very leading to next day being a write off.

Fuckup · 04/06/2015 07:18

once every 2 weeks or so for a big night out (staying out until about 4/5 am), I know who he's with but never met them.

For a few drinks with a mate maybe once, or occasionally twice a week.Back by about 11/12.

I don't mind really because I like the odd night out myself, and used to go out all the time. I like a bit of time to myself as well.

sandgrown · 04/06/2015 07:31

DP goes out with his son occasionally to watch footie in the pub and returns when it closes. Considering he was a publican he hardly goes out now. I make him come out with friends about twice a month. I go out at least once a week with friends and once to college but usually home by 11.30pm.

cherrytree63 · 04/06/2015 07:34

My OH goes out at least three times a week drinking, if funds permit he'll go out more. Depends what time he goes out, if it's an afternoon session he'll be home about 9 or 10, but often it's around midnight /1 am. I go out once a week, to local gigs. Sometimes he comes with me, and classes that as us going out together. I don't drink alcohol, I'll be shaking my booty in front of the band, and he'll be propping up the bar at the back.
When we leave he'll buy a stinking kebab.
We have had endless rows about his drinking, and it's why he's my stbxp.

Bahh · 04/06/2015 08:27

Never, really. Been out for a meal with his workmates that's turned into a pub visit maybe once or twice, got home somewhere close to midnight. He was a little bit tipsy and that's the most he's had since we've been together. Also been out for meal/drinks with his best friend a couple of times but no drinking and home by like 10 because she lives in a different city and has to travel back. Couple of times he's gone to a show or the cinema on his annual family obligation, again no drinking, back by 11. These are all after work things, couldn't imagine him doing a proper night out thing. He's not a social butterfly bless him. Likes being at home with his kid and his missus.

I probably go out once every three months or something? Never been a massive party type but do like to have a drink and dance like a twat occasionally. I'll get in at about 2am on those nights. Got two coming up this month actually, friends birthday and my leaving do. I don't drink enough to be sick or get hangovers though, so I might need a lie in but I'll get up and take part in the normal day with OH and SD.

Sickoffrozen · 04/06/2015 08:42

These partners that never go out...have they got no friends?

Mine goes out at least once if not twice a week, football 20 plus times a year, a long weekend away on the booze abroad with the lads.

I am sick of him currently anyway so the more times he goes out the better!

TheWordFactory · 04/06/2015 08:51

I'd say DH goes out with clients/work events maybe one night per week.

Though not every week. Then he might have a bad week where he goes away and it's dinner/events every night.

He meets friends (the same gang, very close) for drinks and dinner every few weeks, always a week night, though sometimes, because they are all super busy, it can be months before they can sort a date they can all manage. They try to go away for a weekend once a year, but haven't managed it since 2013!!!

jesy · 04/06/2015 08:57

Football maybe twice a month, weekly dinner with mates , and pub maybe once a week.