My sister has asked for a £4k loan

[Sweetheartyparty76]

I'm 38 with no kids and my partner and I have fairly good jobs. My sister is 2 years younger than me with 5 kids and husband who can only find temporary work. They are yrying to sell their house and move into council accomodation but until they do have to pay rent and mortgage. Their house is for sale for £80k and their mortgage is for £55k. They also have a lot of debt and a bad credit record. They have borrowed from my sisters MIL but they are estranged now. Our parents are dead so I'm the only one she can turn to.

She sent me a message asking to borrow £4k so she can move into their new house 'comfortably'. It is not an inconsiderate sum for me. We are also in the process of moving house and our joint savings will be our deposit.

Only say yes if you are prepared to lose it.

I would honestly say no. It'll never stop if you do.

" We are also in the process of moving house and our joint savings will be our deposit."

Surely this is all you need to say? What money would you have to give her if your savings are being used for your own deposit?

Agree with primal. Be ready to write if off

I agree with only say yes if you are prepard to lose it.

And only say yes if you are prepared to see it be spent on things that you don't approve of, and have the strength to say nothing.

What about your own unforeseen expenses? A sudden pregnancy? Urgent work needing doing on the new house? Major car repair etc? What annoys me about people asking to borrow from others' savings is that they haven't considered it is there for the convenience and security of the saver - NOT anyone else.

Did they ever pay back mil? Agree you need to mentally give her the money if you can afford to loan it, if you get it back it is a bonus. You need to prioritise your needs, you are just as entitled to move comfortably as they are.

And what is the reason for the estrangement? Is it the unpaid debt?

I honestly would say no.

Where do they live now? I know that's not the issue, but I'm curious.

It'd be a No from me unless given as a gift.

Honestly, I agree with the others, only give it if you are afford to lose it. If your sister has asked before and feels that you owe it to her to share your better fortune with her, then I would say no. If she has never asked before and if you know she would be grateful and if you can afford it, I would possibly give her 2k as opposed to lending her 4. Less stressful all round in the long run. But tell her it's a gift with the understanding that she doesn't ask again. However you phrase that.

I missed this bit

"" We are also in the process of moving house and our joint savings will be our deposit."

So, you don't own your own home and you're saving for that!?? I would say to your sister that you're saving for a deposit on a house! You aren't in a position to write off four grand.

Say yes if you don't expect to have it back.

Yes I have given my sister a smaller sum when she asked to borrow a large one. Not a fan of lending to anyone.

Oops I've double posted. She is currently paying her MIL but she confided in me that she will stop paying her once they move. I have also loaned money to her years ago and i didn't get it back. She says she can pay me back when they sell but that could be after we sell ours.

Will the council house them if they have sold their home? My local council wouldn't, they would be classed as intentionally homeless and not offered a council property.

We live in County Durham. Are u interested in a 3 bed terrace?

So she feels under no obligation to repay debts, even to family

Say no. You're doing her no favours in the long run. I feel sorry for the kids.

Op you know that the chances of getting your money back are slim to none, right?

Seriously say no.... Just that one word via a text reply.

"Hi sis, sorry, no can do. We need every penny for our deposit ".