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Original poster

Has anybody here got married in a registry office without having a Ceremony?

113 replies

BoredAdminGirl · 14/04/2015 13:14

We are thinking of doing it, just doing the legal stuff.

We don't really want any kind of ceremony, just a little celebration afterwards? Is that sad? We are both quite shy people and hate the idea of saying vows in front of everyone!

Thoughts?

OP posts:
SorrelForbes · 14/04/2015 13:17

Yep. We had a very quick registry office wedding. We chose the shortest, plainest version of the vows and it was all done in a few minutes. I too hate people looking at me!

RakeMeHomeCountryToads · 14/04/2015 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BoredAdminGirl · 14/04/2015 13:19

Thank you!

sorrel what was involved in your day? Did you just dress casually? Was it just signing papers?

OP posts:
JohnFarleysRuskin · 14/04/2015 13:22

We did still have to say some stuff out loud though, I think, but not very much.

Oddly, I found it very intimate, very romantic.

We had about 12 people there. You wouldn't need to have that many.

Ladymuck · 14/04/2015 13:23

You'll need 2 witnesses, but yes, it can be done fairly casually. We did it as a legality and then went to the pub afterwards. No music or readings or even exchanging rings necessary. Just the vows and signing the register.

SorrelForbes · 14/04/2015 13:23

You sign something before you go into the ceremony room and you sign the register afterwards. I think you say three sentences each (repaying them after the registrar) and that's it. You can choose to exchange rings if you want.

I wore a nice knee length silk dress from Biba and DH wore his uniform (Royal Navy). We invited 4 people and 8 turned up which I was very unimpressed about Grin

Patchworkpatty · 14/04/2015 13:27

all you need is two witnesses and I 'think the regitrar will ask you to dress smartly ie in keeping with the official ceremony although I'm sure jeans etc are fine just no whacky 'costumes' of her than that congratulations on your wedding !

Fudgeface123 · 14/04/2015 13:39

This is exactly what we are doing. Just us, our mums and his DDs at the registry office then the 6 of us out for a naice meal. We will then go somewhere super fabby on honeymoon and may or may not have a 'do' when we get back.

I've bought a lovely Monsoon dress (£49 in the sale) and DP is wearing a cream linen suit (it's in the summer) so smart but not too done up.

tethersend · 14/04/2015 13:40

Great idea... Didn't realise you could do this!

Is it cheaper?

tethersend · 14/04/2015 13:41
Grin
Patchworkpatty · 14/04/2015 13:43

all you need is two witnesses and I 'think the regitrar will ask you to dress smartly ie in keeping with the official ceremony although I'm sure jeans etc are fine just no whacky 'costumes' . other than that congratulations on yur wedding !

TheSilveryPussycat · 14/04/2015 13:47

I did this, many moons ago. Are there vows? I don't remember any. Just a declaration from each of us that there was no legal reason why we couldn't marry.

shitebag · 14/04/2015 13:48

We did it.

14 people including us. I had a nice £30 50's style (not wedding) dress, DP had a half decent suit, no music or faffing around. Walked in together and walked out 30 minutes later and headed out to a nice little restaurant for dinner and back to my Mums for a few drinks and cake.

The "ceremony" itself was just the minimum vows and signing papers, I even had a very clingy 18 month old onmy hip through the whole thing :o,

Momagain1 · 14/04/2015 13:51

We did. Our circumstances of having all our family living too far away to come even come to the smallest do meant we didnt bother.. No point having a just friends ceremony, in our view. No one was there but my kids, one of whom was old enough to sign her name, so was a witness. The other witness was a lady from whatever county office was next door. We had witnesses arranged, but a bad Dv bug was ripping through our group of friends, and they called that morning to say they couldnt possibly leave their house. i undestood, the day before had been my first time dressed in day clothes since the weekend. My new dh was laid low by 9 pm.

But, other than that,it was lovely!

vvviola · 14/04/2015 13:54

We did it. Just DH, me and my parents as witnesses. I wore as nice a dress as my whale-like 7 months pregnant body could fit into. DH worse a nice suit and a shirt he bought from next on the way to the wedding as he left his at home

It was lovely. We had a weekend away at a nice hotel, then the "ceremony" (a few words, no rings, no fuss) then on somewhere for lunch afterwards. Then we hopped into our cars, and DH and I went to a little hotel for the next night and DM and DDad went home.

Admittedly we did do the big church wedding the following year. (The religious aspect was important to me, but I felt it was important to get the legalities sorted before the baby arrived, so that was our compromise).

Only drawback is that we can never decide when our "real" wedding anniversary is, so completely forget to celebrate every year!

Momagain1 · 14/04/2015 13:54

Tethers: it is the cheapest. All you need to pay is the fee. Maybe busfare or parking.

When people say they cant afford to get married, they mean they can't afford to put on a big display of getting married. Getting married/civilly partnered costs hardly anything.

SophyStantonLacy · 14/04/2015 13:55

We did. We actually were doing it as a legal thing as we had a full humanist ceremony with 130 guests a week later. But we went along to the registry office on a Weds afternoon with 5 friends & our DD, I wore ordinary clothes (dress & leggings), think DH wore jeans & shirt. We just said whatever we had to say. No readings, no music, no walking in, no rings. Very fuss free! Actually it was some time around the end of April so anniversary just be coming up Hmm

SophyStantonLacy · 14/04/2015 13:57

tethers if I remember correctly it cost not much. The figures £70 is in my head for some reason but might be wrong.

There is this bit you have to do beforehand where I think you declare your intention to marry, & we had an interview to check we really knew each other. It's probably all clearly laid out on your local registry office website.

KatoPotato · 14/04/2015 13:58

Exactly what DH and I did! Most basic ceremony, I wore a dress from New Look. Didn't want any music etc, had DBIL and his then DP as witnesses. We went to the Chinese buffet for lunch (wanted to choose naffest possibel!)

This was Xmas eve 2009 and I was 9 Months pg. We told all the family the next day on Xmas morning.

I wouldn't change a thing about, still once of the best happiest days of my life!

May09Bump · 14/04/2015 14:01

yep, just the two of us and roped in two witnesses.

I think there should also be a more simply legal option - ideally, you walk into a solicitors sign a contract that you wish to be married and that's that. Or like you register a baby, just walk in and sign the register.

We also choose a date after my husbands birthday - so not easy to forgot date :) But practically, we go away for his birthday and our anniversary and it works well.

Momagain1 · 14/04/2015 14:08

Other people I know have done it because they were not in favor of living together, but the various arrangments for roomates and new flats went awry about 4 months before the wedding. Leaving him roomateless and her flatless. Her movingin was the obvious practical thing, so they decided to get the civil ceremony done. They invited minimal people, but then all his elderly relatives heard and wanted to come too. Which is OK, they were all old enough that who knows what might happen in 6 months? So they ended up having about 30 people. (All of whom lived until the fancy ceremony!)

Another, HE had a close wedding mistake, found something out and called it off the morning of. Years later, he kept not wanting to go through all the planning as he was embarrassed, and the fallout with some relatives then would become an issue. She was content to live together, in hopes he would someday feel up to it. then she lost her job. This was in the US, so that meant she lost her health insurance. She had an ongoing condition, so this was bad. He said, well, lets go to the courthouse and marry, then I can put you on mine at work. reader, she had witnesses meet them at the county offices within the hour.

chocolatelife · 14/04/2015 14:09

gosh, That makes me think. I wonder if people have registering baby's name ceremonies/parties?
I bet they do

Momagain1 · 14/04/2015 14:19

OP about the only drawback to a registry wedding is some people closely associate it with getting married because you are already pregnant, so much so that they will immediately look at your belly for evidence, and they may ask outright. And even if you say you arent, the gossipy sort will be on the alert.

So, heads up on that. Give them a Biscuit

Original poster
BoredAdminGirl · 14/04/2015 14:32

We just want something quick and low key then off we will go - camping ha!

A weekend of sun, drinks and star gazing.

OP posts:
Original poster
BoredAdminGirl · 14/04/2015 14:33

momagain we are a female couple so am hoping that wont be assumed ;)

OP posts:
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