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Original poster

Has anybody here got married in a registry office without having a Ceremony?

113 replies

BoredAdminGirl · 14/04/2015 13:14

We are thinking of doing it, just doing the legal stuff.

We don't really want any kind of ceremony, just a little celebration afterwards? Is that sad? We are both quite shy people and hate the idea of saying vows in front of everyone!

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Ouchbloodyouch · 14/04/2015 20:03

These sound absolutely lovely. If I ever get married it will definitely be a no fuss affair. Its about the person. Flowers even if money were no option I wouldn't 'go large' not that I haven't enjoyed every 'big' affair I have been to. Your wedding. Your choice.

Ouchbloodyouch · 14/04/2015 20:05

I'll still have a posh frock though...

babymouse · 14/04/2015 20:07

Yes. We had the party a year later and it was perfect for us.

MadeMan · 14/04/2015 20:53

"We are thinking of doing it, just doing the legal stuff. We don't really want any kind of ceremony, just a little celebration afterwards? Is that sad? A weekend of sun, drinks and star gazing."

Sounds ideal to me and not at all sad. Smile I'm turned off weddings ever since You've Been Framed hit our television screens; weddings are so cheesy and naff!

If I ever get married, I'd like it low key too; I doubt I'd even want my parents, relatives or friends there.

blueberrypie0112 · 14/04/2015 23:12

I did. I hated all attention on me so i did not want a ceremony

mylifetoo · 14/04/2015 23:44

Just me, DH and my grown up DC as witnesses. Then Pizza Hut. Cost about £120 altogether.

Momagain1 · 14/04/2015 23:57

Bored i bet you somebody looks at one or both bellies anyway!

Alternatively, EVERYONE will say something like you did, and think they are being very uniquelt funny!

So, after all our stories, are you going for it?

Eekaman · 15/04/2015 00:41

May 1993. Decided on Tuesday to get married as in, ''what are we doing this weekend? Any plans, no? Ok then, lets get married...', by Thursday the bookings were in place, Saturday we got married.

In laws, brothers, sisters, a few very good friends, that was it. Didn't want or need any fuss, we just did it and it's been great. :)

CactusAnnie · 15/04/2015 00:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CactusAnnie · 15/04/2015 00:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuellaEstCornelia · 15/04/2015 07:45

We did it, 24 years ago. Cost us £15 for the licence and ( I think) about £35 for the room - if I remember rightly, we had to 'call upon these people present to witness that we knew of no legal cause or imediment why we could not be joined in matrimony' I think that we felt we were making private vows to eachother, when as my sister, who had the whole three ring circus, felt it was important to say it in front of the world.
Had a mad big party later, mind!

letscookbreakfast · 15/04/2015 07:53

We are doing it next month with four guests in total, it's costing quite a bit more than the prices I've seen quoted here though!

We both hate attention and we are looking forward to it, even though we've had a few raised eyebrows because it's 'not traditional'. Even my best man was a bit weird about it at first, I think he was crying inside as his wedding cost £18k.

Original poster
BoredAdminGirl · 15/04/2015 09:24

Yes, I spoke with my DP last night and it's definitely what we want. She said her family (mainly her mum because her sister did the sane thing) will be very upset but its only about us, no one else.

Considering doing it as early as this July! Just need to think about who my witnesses will be

OP posts:
Momagain1 · 15/04/2015 21:05

May 1993. Decided on Tuesday to get married as in, ''what are we doing this weekend? Any plans, no? Ok then, lets get married...', by Thursday the bookings were in place, Saturday we got married.

Ours was much the same. At the time, where we lived in the US,required a doctor to sign off on your health (no TB or STD) and for different reasons, we both had docotr appointments and since we were engaged, asked for the form. since we had the forms, we went and got the license, which had an expiration date, but I forget how long. We halfheartedly tried to arrange something with at least my brothers who lived an hour away. but they were in the drink all the hours you arent working stage of life and had crappy cars. i suppose if we had just Told them to be there on X day a few weeks ahead, they would have managed. But we were moving from our seperate flats and busy with day to day life, and instead just sort of said let us know when you can make it over. Then I got sick with the afformentioned DV bug. On the day I was feeling better, I read in the paper that the county offices would close early the next day for a holiday, and be closed the next business day. Realised our license 'expired' before the next day they would be open. Told now dh, 'we need to get married tomorrow morning, or we will have pay for medical appointments to get new medical forms and pay for another license.' He said, 'let's get married tomorrow morning then'.

And we did.

CactusAnnie · 15/04/2015 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FriendlyLadybird · 15/04/2015 21:50

We did have a blessing and a party later, but this is what we did. Just two close friends and us; DH wore a suit, I wore a skirt, boots, and my leather jacket (was desperate to get married in my leather jacket). We just said the official 'vows' but I got the terrible giggles so it took a bit longer than it would have done. The registrar was very patient and said it happens surprisingly often.

StaceyAndTracey · 15/04/2015 22:26

Bored admin girl

If you are not careful,you will have mumsnetters queuing up to be your witnesses Wink

VipersBosom · 15/04/2015 22:31

We did this, in jeans on our lunch break. Shortest plainest possible version, no rings etc, two off-duty firemen from the next door fire station as witnesses. It was lovely.

ChillySundays · 15/04/2015 22:59

Bored admin girl
Mumsnetters always offering to be witnesses.

blueberrypie0112 · 16/04/2015 02:59

"Ours was much the same. At the time, where we lived in the US,required a doctor to sign off on your health (no TB or STD) and for different reasons,"

Really? My husband and I never had to do this. Is it because one of you was not a citizen? I am assuming because i know some people are required to go through certain routine before they can travel around. Or is it a state law that other states do not do?

Generation ago, it used to be that you had to take a blood test of some sort.

blueberrypie0112 · 16/04/2015 03:02

(Btw, i do not know what's the purpose of getting a Dr's approval. I mean, it is not like people wait til marriage to have sex these days so it provide no protection)

lavendersun · 16/04/2015 06:44

Blueberry, I had to do that when I got married. UK citizen marrying a US citizen who worked for the US government in the UK. Even the Dr apologised to me/was very embarrassed at the outdated system.

Laughable and shocking, DH was very senior at work, I was a UK 'professional' earning more money than him, being examined to be considered 'fit' for marriage.

Unfortunately we had to do what the system required, awful.

We probably wouldn't have bothered getting married if it wasn't for who he worked for, I wouldn't have been recognised at all if not. Completely outdated and definitely big brother.

GaryBaldy · 16/04/2015 07:07

Yes we did.

Two witnesses, dress from Layra Ashley (showing my age) for me, suit from M&S for DH, two witnesses. Went for lunch after then told family.

I hated the thought of big dress / ceremony etc and lots of friends were getting married so didn't want to be yet another wedding that year in our friendship group.

Ragwort · 16/04/2015 07:15

Yes - three witnesses - MIL, DB and a friend of DH's - my parents then joined us for lunch - other siblings not invited, it wasn't a 'secret' as such, we just didn't make a big thing about it.

Also wore a Laura Ashley dress (similar age GaryBaldy Wink) and DH had an ordinary suit.

It was very simple, straight forward and didn't cost much. No angst and no presents. I really, really dislike big, showy weddings and am glad DH felt the same. Was nearly 30 years ago and we are still together Grin.

Dowser · 16/04/2015 07:48

I'm getting married in Tenerife in September. It's such a complicated and expensive process over there so Im having a civil ceremony in my local registry office. It's costing £120.

Then 2 months later we do the proper wedding blessing on the beach in front of our family and any other stragglers that turn up.

The date we've chosen for the civil ceremony is the day we first met 7 years ago so I suspect that will become our main anniversary.

I never wanted two. I would have preferred to have done the blessing one in Tenerife first, then come home and sign on the dotted line.

It's making what was to be the main one a bit superfluous now tbh.

If I could have afforded to have taken my family to Florida instead it would have been all done and dusted out there but that would have quadrupled what I've paid for Tenerife.

Never mind. We will have a great holiday and some lovely memories and lots of laughs!