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Original poster

Has anybody here got married in a registry office without having a Ceremony?

113 replies

BoredAdminGirl · 14/04/2015 13:14

We are thinking of doing it, just doing the legal stuff.

We don't really want any kind of ceremony, just a little celebration afterwards? Is that sad? We are both quite shy people and hate the idea of saying vows in front of everyone!

Thoughts?

OP posts:

MrsPeabody · 14/04/2015 14:39

The longest marriage I know to date was based on two people running through the rain into the registry office and just doing the paperwork. They announced to their mates in the pub afterwards and had a beer to celebrate. Just wore jeans and T-shirts.

If it's what you both want, none of the rest of the frills matter. Good luck!

GuyMartinsSideburns · 14/04/2015 14:39

We did - just me, dh, ds, dd and two witnesses who were the photographer and his wife! I wore a tea dress, dh and ds wore jeans and smart jackets and dd picked a dress she liked. Got married then went off to the park for photos and champagne! Was so lovely, to us it felt really intimate and we really didn't want to be doing all that showy stuff so this way was perfect for us.

lagartaroja · 14/04/2015 14:52

I have been with my DP for nearly 14 years and we never intended to get married. In fact, I once told him he was never to ask as I'd just say no! Anyway, I have changed my mind for various reasons and would love to do this although I'd probably have it in our garden rather than a registry office. I want to wait until our DC are old enough to join in properly though.

I say go for it!

HermiioneSnape02 · 14/04/2015 14:58

We did too. Just me, DH, Our 2 children, (5 & 1) at the time and my DH best friend and wife as our witnesses.
My worst nightmare being the centre of attention.
A nice meal at said friends house after and she'd bought us a little wedding cake, which was absolutely lovely of her.
It was very intimate and quick. Just what we wanted. Still married now 14 years later.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 14/04/2015 16:00

You do have to post the banns (what?) or something or other a few weeks in advance, btw, you can't just pop in and get married.

Its the loveliest way to marry for the introverts!

Our registry office offered two rooms - big or small, at two prices, I think about 70 or 50, maybe.

lavendersun · 14/04/2015 16:04

We did this, just signed on the dotted line, our best friends came in to witness it, job done. Embarrassingly we didn't have any money (was in the car) and DH had to pop out to ask our friends for some cash to pay the registrar, then, when we wanted another copy of the certificate he had to pop out again for another £2.10 or whatever it was.

Then we had a lovely lunch, just the four of us and went away the next day. I didn't have, or think about music, flowers. Didn't think about anything really other than turning up. It was lovely .

Original poster

BoredAdminGirl · 14/04/2015 16:23

By us it's £35.00 each to give notice and I think for the simple marriage it is £46.00 where you just sign the forms etc. Then £4.00 for wedding certificate so as far as I can gather, that's all the cost involved?

OP posts:

shovetheholly · 14/04/2015 16:24

Unfortunately, you can't do it without a little bit of a ceremony. You have to stand up and say words.

We did the absolute minimum. As you can probably tell from that statement, I'm not a ceremony person, but it was actually quite nice. There is a kind of focus about it, where you're suddenly there and you're making these massive promises, and it is like the whole world narrows to just the two of you, just for that moment. It's magical and I think having a minimal 'do' actually enhances that, because basically there is nothing else to distract .

SophyStantonLacy · 14/04/2015 16:37

I found ours hilarious as DH is always known by his middle name but suddenly I was making all these vows to his first name, who on earth was that?!

UnsolvedMystery · 14/04/2015 16:47

We did it (albeit not in this country)
It was lovely. Very relaxed, very romantic. Perfect.
Still going strong 20+ years later

Miele72 · 14/04/2015 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wigglybeezer · 14/04/2015 16:51

My DB did this, I am still very sad that I wasn't invited, SIL didn't want her siblings there so DB had to disinvite his. I am very fond of my little brother and had to avoid talking to him for a few days as I kept crying when I thought about it and didn't want him to know how upset I was.

lavendersun · 14/04/2015 16:53

Wiggly, my mother felt the same way, shame and all that but it was the day we wanted, she had the day she wanted in 1963.

IvanOsokin · 14/04/2015 16:53

We did this. Just the two of us and our two children, who were old enough to be our witnesses. The things we had to say were minimal and simple but surprisingly moving.

It was very quick - no rings, no music, no faff. The registrar took a few lovely photos for us but that was it. Then we went out for a meal, just the four of us. Told friends and family six months later.

We'd been together for many years by the time we married and we just didn't want a big do.

sweetkitty · 14/04/2015 16:56

We did this almost 3 weeks ago

Just DP and I, our four DCs and two witnesses, have a lovely relaxed meal afterwards then went on holiday the next day.

I wore a beautiful dress from Coast, DH a suit and the DC had wedding type outfits, I had a little cake as well.

The ceremony part was lovely we had rings and some special music too.

IvanOsokin · 14/04/2015 16:58

I've just checked and it cost us £33.50 each for the notice of marriage, then £90 for the civic suite, so a total of £157 including the certificate. That was four years ago.

GnomeDePlume · 14/04/2015 17:44

We had a plain registry office wedding followed by lunch with guests (24 of us in total I think). No fancy costume but everyone dressed 'smart' from whatever they owned. Nobody wore a hat!

Absolutely no regrets that we didnt have the big ceremony. Been married 23 years now.

RegTheMonkey1 · 14/04/2015 17:56

We had two witnesses and two guests, and then all went out for lunch afterwards. No ceremony apart from what happened at the registry office, a couple of sentences said aloud, and then sign the register.

ratspeaker · 14/04/2015 18:27

We did it, small gathering of friends and some family, you stand and make a solemn declaration. Then off to the pub and back to ours for a buffet and drinks.
never regretted it
Twas 30 odd years ago

UnsolvedMystery · 14/04/2015 18:28

I am still very sad that I wasn't invited
Sorry you were sad but it wasn't your wedding.
We didn't have our family there either. We didn't even tell them until afterwards. It was more important to us that we got the wedding that we wanted. It was about us and for us. My family were happy that we were happy and had the wedding that we wanted. Some of his family bitched about it not being right and them missing out. You can't please everyone!

smallstones · 14/04/2015 18:31

If you are a female couple and have a civil partnership rather than a wedding, you don't have to say any vows at all. You can just sign the required documents. If you want to get married, you have to say vows, although as mentioned they can be very brief. If you particularly want to be married rather than have a civil partnership, you could do a civil partnership to avoid having to do vows, then convert that to a marriage afterwards for a small fee.

I had a register office wedding with 10 close family members, and we ate out at a cheap restaurant afterwards. No flowers, readings, songs or music. I would have preferred not to say any vows at all, but unfortunately that's not an option for us (as a heterosexual couple).

starsandunicorns · 14/04/2015 18:33

Basic wedding 2 other ppl dh suit 30pounds from asda sale rack my dress 40 pounds from ebay ( think i sent more money on buttons for my button boquet which i made) drink at the pub then early bird meal at a resturant wedding cake was ordered and paid for by some lovely mumneters i have facebook its was fab

though telling parents afterwards on the phone was a bit scarly

HeyheyheyGoodbye · 14/04/2015 18:45

Yep. Chose the quickest vows, had our parents for witnesses, no other guests. Dinner afterwards. We had our sprirtual wedding the next day. It's v common for people whose religious/spiritual ceremonies aren't recognised as legal to do it this way.

maudpringles · 14/04/2015 18:54

My immediate family, his immediate family and a friend each.
20 years later we are still going strong and so many commented what a lovely and relaxing day it was.
We didn't want to get married without our parents and siblings being present but I can totally understand that people do.

ChillySundays · 14/04/2015 19:44

We did it. Didn't want a big fuss

Had our DCs as witnesses so avoided the hassle/upset of choosing one lot of friends over another as witnesses

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