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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband is so bloody stupid, I think I pity him.

126 replies

jonrotten · 19/02/2015 17:30

So, my iPad ran out of charge today, and I couldn't be bothered to get the charger, so picked up Dhs as it was on the table in front of me.

We tend to use our own, but we know each others passcodes and we sometimes just use the one closest to take a pic of dd etc. As they are linked to our phones for texts/iMessages/emails he's never had anythingf to hide a as he's very free with iPad, phone and laptop.

Anyway, so I wasn't snooping is what I'm saying!

I go on it and I see that it's open on an email account. Only it's not his usual, he's set another one up.

On it was lots of emails from a website called 'badoo' with headings like 'xx wants to chat' and 'yy has replied to your message.

There was a button underneath that said click to read your message so I did and the chats were all there.

Stupid cunt isn't getting anywhere. Most of them strong him along and then try to charge him for cam stuff. One of them is anawering him in a bizzare way, with just one random letter. Pathetic prick is still trying though.

Apparently, he's single! Wow, Iust have imagined the wedding and children then.

Sorry if I've not made much sense.

Sad
OP posts:
Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 18:18

I've taken photos of the messages on my phone - if I did a screen shot it would have come up on his photo stream on his phone and he would know.

He's not back until about 9.

OP posts:
Ohfourfoxache · 19/02/2015 18:21

So you've got plenty of time to decide what you want to do.

Have you had any thoughts?

Could you pack a bag and leave it for him outside?

AnyFucker · 19/02/2015 18:27

All respect for this man would be gone

I couldn't stay married to a man I have no respect for

Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 18:30

I looked through all the emails properly.

In the deleted folder there were registration emails for adult friend finder and adult work too.

In the nicest possible way, I'm trying to get rid of ds for the
Night. I've text a couple of his friends mums who I know fairly well and said it's urgent, is there anyway he can sleep over.

I don't want him here when he gets home, he idolises his step dad.

OP posts:
ToYouToMe · 19/02/2015 18:32

@jonrotten: He's so tech savvy though. I'm wondering why he didn't cover his tracks better? He leaves his stuff laying around, it's no secret that I'll sometimes pick up his phone/iPad and use them as he does with mine.

Sounds like he's careless as well as being faithless.

Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 18:34

I've thought abour packing a bag and leaving it with a note saying what I've seen and to fuck off, but he'll bash on the door and wake the baby. We are in a Victorian house converted into two flats, so I can't lock the main door as its for upstairs to use too, we've just the slightly flimsy internal front door which is right across from where dd sleeps.

Plus, it's my fucking car he's driving, it's in my name, my savings paid for it, he's not leaving with that.

OP posts:
Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 18:36

I'm not going to reply to his chat thread either, as he will know and it will give him time to think of an excuse.

The sad thing is, I've been here ten years ago with ds father with a texting situation Sad

OP posts:
Ohfourfoxache · 19/02/2015 18:40

Can you call your dad, get him to take the car keys off him and chuck him out? Then where he goes is up to him. Could your dad drive your car over to yours?

NoArmaniNoPunani · 19/02/2015 18:42

You sound very together OP. You can do this, good luck

Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 18:51

No, my dad is quite elderly and very traditional. My first divorce was a huge shock to him, I can't get him involved in this.

One of ds friends mums replied that yes, she'll be here to get him in twenty mins and does she want me to take the baby for the night/tomorrow too. I think my text must have sounded desperate.

I'll keep dd here but I'll maybe pack us a bag and go somewhere early in the morning. She's up at 5 lazy h just turns over and goes back to sleep anyway

OP posts:
Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 18:53

Fucking dickhead, yesterday was our 4th wedding anniversary.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 19/02/2015 18:54

What a lovely friend! Nice you know there are people there if you need them.

Good luck and take care.

Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 18:56

Yes, she's the type who doesn't pry, she just helps. I don't have many close friends but I am so glad I have her, this isn't the first time she's dropped everything for me and the children.

OP posts:
Mandatorymongoose · 19/02/2015 19:02

She sounds great. Glad DS is sorted out. What's your plan?

ShizeItsWeegie · 19/02/2015 19:06

You sound like you deserve far more than a sweaty twat that has no respect for you or your family unit OP. Get him gone. I bet he knows what you went through with your ex and still he has done this. What a turd!

RabidFairy · 19/02/2015 19:08

No advice as such OP, but big hugs to you and the very best of luck for later. Glad you've found a place for your DS to crash for the night.
Flowers

Branleuse · 19/02/2015 19:18

oh mate, im sorry. What a stupid pathetic wanker he is.

Branleuse · 19/02/2015 19:19

he will obviously try out a massive range of excuses. You could probably make out a bingo game from them

JugglingLife · 19/02/2015 19:25

What a dim fucking idiot, you poor thing OP, you seem to be amazingly in control. Is there a chance that he wants out? Has left that for you to find deliberately? Is the cunt idiot really that thick?

Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 19:25

Well out sex life is ok. He can't use that as an excuse.

He's not stressed at work

We've been having a laugh so he can't use the growing apart thing.

I worshiped (past tense) the ground he walked on and did loads of nice things for him, so he can't say it's because he didn't get love or attention.

I might just go to bed with dd and leave in the morning. I've a folder with all the car stuff/important docs. That Andy children's baby books are all I need. Everything else is on my laptop.

OP posts:
Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 19:26

I had bad PND, I'm on lots of prozac thank god , that's why I seem so detached and in control.

OP posts:
Original poster
jonrotten · 19/02/2015 19:28

Sorry I'm feeing dd there are typos everywhere.

OP posts:
JugglingLife · 19/02/2015 19:30

What's the situation with the house Jon? Should you leave or he? Do you have any idea whatsoever why the feckless fucking twat numpty would do this?

Lorelei353 · 19/02/2015 19:34

Typos are utterly irrelevant right now so please don't apologise. We understand you.

So you're going through this and glad you have a friend you can count on. Stay strong.

maras2 · 19/02/2015 19:38

Stupid shit for brains wanker.What is it with these blokes? Bastard morons.Good luck for later love,I'm sure that you will find the right things to do and say as you sound like a strong,feisty woman.