My husband is so bloody stupid, I think I pity him.

[jonrotten]

So, my iPad ran out of charge today, and I couldn't be bothered to get the charger, so picked up Dhs as it was on the table in front of me.

We tend to use our own, but we know each others passcodes and we sometimes just use the one closest to take a pic of dd etc. As they are linked to our phones for texts/iMessages/emails he's never had anythingf to hide a as he's very free with iPad, phone and laptop.

Anyway, so I wasn't snooping is what I'm saying!

I go on it and I see that it's open on an email account. Only it's not his usual, he's set another one up.

On it was lots of emails from a website called 'badoo' with headings like 'xx wants to chat' and 'yy has replied to your message.

There was a button underneath that said click to read your message so I did and the chats were all there.

Stupid cunt isn't getting anywhere. Most of them strong him along and then try to charge him for cam stuff. One of them is anawering him in a bizzare way, with just one random letter. Pathetic prick is still trying though.

Apparently, he's single! Wow, Iust have imagined the wedding and children then.

Sorry if I've not made much sense.

Nope no remorse.

I was straight to the point though. He knows what I'm like, there is no point trying to explain something like that. There is no resin I'd ever understand

Oh well, hope he's sorry now even if he won't express it to you. Hope you are OK tonight.

Weird logic, though, isn't it If I don't offer to look after my children every other weekend, my wife will put up with me pretending to be single while hooking up with random women for sex.

Makes you wonder where they get this shit ... !

Keep your friends close, Jon. You sound ace :)

Well done, Jon. Hopeyou had a peaceful evening, and get a good night's sleep. I don't see anthing wrong with a bit of detachment just now, either, so keep taking the pills

What a wanker.. What did his mum say ?

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xx

Wow! If the threat over the DD is his immediate response, I would have no problem in sending a detailed explanation to his mother of exactly why you have booted him out. If he asks you why you did it, tell him it was important to you that she understood why you were separating (ie it's her darling sons doing) You would be well rid of this charm free git.

I haven't told his mum anything. I figured blood is thicker than water.

Didn't sleep much last night, nor did dd. I certainly regretted that bottle of wine.

you poor love. Well done for getting him out.

Wow, you're amazing Jon.

(I did have a guilty laugh out loud when I read your response to "I'll have DD every weekend).

Yeah he didn't reply to me saying "well that would be great, two nights sleep a week would be amazing". He hung up on me.

I don't know what will happen today. I know his mum will be worried about contact with dd and with ds who she treats like he's her flesh and blood. I'd never stop her seeing them. And as my friend pointed out last night, when he does have dd, it will probably be his mum looking after her anyway, so she'll see her then.

I know the whole "I'll have my child" bullshit anyway. Ds dad did the same. It lasted a year. He sees him for an hour every two weeks now, hence why I am so flippant about it.

Yes, the "I'll have them every weekend" is nonsense. My abusive ex made big ruckus about "you're not keeping me from my kids" when I told him that contact would be supervised. He's seen them a total of.... once..... since August. His choice, he just can't be bothered. It's often just a threat to pull you back into line - they're using the dcs for manipulation. Good job calling his bluff.

Sorry you're going through this.

When you know he's told his Mum, if I would you I'd drop her a note saying that you're sorry she's been dragged into it, but that you figured she would want to support her son, but that you can't ignore such a betrayal. However, you know how much she loves the DC and what a great Grandma she is, and you would never want to impact on her relationship with the children. Maybe?

Yeah i will do. She's a good person, it's not her fault her son is a shit, I wouldn't punish her for it.

So glad you've got some great support jon.

Glad you've stuck up for yourself.

Shows the measure of him that his first thought was not remorse or guilt or shame but to threaten you

I agree that you need to tell his mum what's going on. She'll eventually side with him, not necessarily because she agrees with him but because he is her son and she'll make excuses for him. But at least be honest with her, even if she is not happy about it.

I've just caught up on this thread from start to finish. jon, you're amazing. Well done x

To be fair to his mum, she'll side with him eventually because he's her son and we love our children unconditionally.

He's a wanker, best of rid of him.

For you xx

Just caught up with this, you are brilliant jon well done for letting this dick know you can't be treated this way.

I am shocked that his first response was threats about your daughter. What an awful, pathetic man.

For your daughter's sake I hope his keenness to see her continues, for your sake I hope he fucks right off.

Jon, I was worried you were going to retreat into a cave of inactivity

I was wrong, well done

I don't necessarily think his mum will side with him 'just because he's her son' if he behaves like an arse. Yes, she's his mum, but she's also the children's grandmother. She may well try to remain neutral for the sake of the children. She may actually side with you once she knows the truth. BFF's PiLs did.

I wouldn't necessarily trust her with my 'plans' but I wouldn't assume that she would actively work against me, either.

Fair enough. I just know that in the long run, whatever my child had done, I would forgive them and endeavour to work towards their best interests.

You go girl.

Sounds like he was waiting for you to find it, didn't even have the balls to admit deep down he wasn't happy. What a schmuck.

You are WELL RID.