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Relationships

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Original poster

If you were left for OW, how many of your ExLTPs/ExH's still with them?

89 replies

WellWhoKnew · 22/10/2014 22:35

Just that really, some of us were pondering.

Did the relationship endure? Or did they eventually break up? What happened next.

I'm a second wife. Was not the OW. Lasted 15 years. First wife, I'm sure, is not surprised, but not unsympathetic.

OP posts:

TrendStopper · 22/10/2014 22:48

My ex & ow have been going 7 years. They seem to overcompensate with loved up photos and declarations of love. I have a feeling that they will stay together coz they feel like they have to.

MirandaWest · 22/10/2014 22:51

XH has been with his gf, who started as the OW for about 4.5 years so far. They seem happy together from what I've seen. And tbh I hope they do stay together.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 22/10/2014 22:58

I actually kicked him out for verbal/physical abuse of children and found out afterwards he had been carrying on an emotional affair with another woman. He moved in with her and got engaged to her (we haven't even filed for divorce yet) in less than a year. Within 4 months of him moving in, she dumped him. I know he made an attempt to get back with her (right after he tried to get back with me ), but not a clue if he succeeded or not.

GoneFullMum · 22/10/2014 23:49

4 years, until he cheated on her too and she dumped him. Shame really, XH tying himself in knots with the regret of it all, but I actually think he might have learnt his lesson this time...

sillymillyb · 22/10/2014 23:53

My ex got with the ow nearly 4 years ago. They are getting married this weekend I'm stupidly bothered by this

Walkacrossthesand · 22/10/2014 23:56

Mine is. 19 years. Not married, nor even currently living together, but they've been 'in a relationship' for the whole time.

WalkWithTheLonelyOnes · 23/10/2014 00:48

Yes they are barely

They were both in relationships and OW was one of my closest friends and me and her DP were and still are good friends.

They've been together for 3 years but have broken up after he found out OW had a ONS and became pregnant.

I know that they are back together and she decided not to continue with the pregnancy.

Neverknowingly · 23/10/2014 02:26

yes - 9 years later, they are still together, married, 2 kids. Seem perfectly happy in so far as you can tell with other people's relationships.

AdoraBell · 23/10/2014 02:32

Not me, but DH's ex moved onto anther while still living with after the one she left DH for, and DSis's ex left secretary number 1 for secretary number 2, then secretary number 3.

ReturnofSaturn · 23/10/2014 03:09

Yes - Two years ago and they're getting married net year apparently.

FreudianGymSlip · 23/10/2014 07:44

Mine is, yes. Not sure how long they've been together because of the overlap but we've been apart 4 years and I assume they're very happy.

flipchart · 23/10/2014 07:48

My ex has been with his 'ow' for 26 years now. They went on to have two children together who are now adults.
I see them out and about. They are very suited together and happy.

ihatebats · 23/10/2014 07:56

my DHs Dad had an affair with his wife's best friend. They have been together for nearly 30 years but at DH mothers funeral FIL told me he wish he had had his original DW all the time and that he wished she hadn't kicked him out etc.

Been with DH for 13 years and never met his Dads wife and DH s sister still barely speaks to her Dad - really pointless and sad!

MorrisZapp · 23/10/2014 08:09

My mum left my dad for my dads best friend. My mum and step dad were together for thirty years but are now separating. My dad has been with his second wife for a similar length of time and they'll be until death they do part.

On the other hand, a friend was left a few years ago for ow and it lasted for maybe two years. Her ex now has another new girlfriend, and their kids are pretty disgusted with it all.

Purplecircle · 23/10/2014 08:14

My EXH is still with the OW from 12 years ago, longer than I was with him but not by much

GaryShitpeas · 23/10/2014 08:20

I was the ow which I'm totally ashamed of and hate myself for, not an excuse but I was v young and naive he is much older

Been together 7 years and married 4 and two dcs of our own plus a dc each from our previous

I'm Not happy ATM though as the stuff that happened in the early days is still having repercussions so not sure for how much longer tbh

Women: just, never ever ever date a married man

hellsbellsmelons · 23/10/2014 09:06

No mine isn't.
She turned out to be a very unstable young lady.
He moved onto others and then tried it on again with me.
He's now with an older lady and I'm sure he loves her.
It's a very volatile relationship but I hope it lasts.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/10/2014 09:12

His OW had been an old flame from his schooldays and 20 years on I think they are happily married with two DCs. Our 12 year relationship and marriage in the middle was later rationalised by him as a rebound...

fedupbutfine · 23/10/2014 09:25

it initially lasted a year...then after a further 6 months, they did a couple more months together....and then after a further 6 months, another 15 months. As far as I can make out (and obviously, I'm at a distance and our relationship isn't amicable) he literally upped and left her without a word. He has had another 3 women since and our eldest said that he's getting engaged to this one (and, thankfully, the children seem to like her). We are now 7 years since separating - so 4 women during that time (that I knwo of - there will have been others in between the serious ones, I'm sure). The OW was vile - she hated our children and the 'deal' of him going back for the 15 month stretch was that he stopped seeing his children (or at least, he didn't see them during that time so I can only assume that was the deal). I suspect he still hasn't worked out that he had what he's searching for but he just didn't value it. Tosser.

Earsareconstantlyringing · 23/10/2014 09:26

I was a kind-of OW. We worked together, he developed feelings for me and, without telling me how he felt, decided that if he felt that way about me, it wasn't right to be married. He left, and waited a while before telling me his feelings, then we got together. So, no duplicity and not strictly an OW, but we've now been together close to 9 years, married 6, have three children and our own business. Genuinely, every single day I have to pinch myself that this relationship is real.

DorothyGherkins · 23/10/2014 09:29

He was with her less than 12 months. She found someone richer, better connected and without so many issues. She did me a favour though and took him off my hands.

isseywithcats · 23/10/2014 09:44

my ex got to the stage with his OW that they moved in together, she moved from her town to ours to do this, then it started to fall apart she wasnt the fantastic lady he thought she was, luckily for her and her kids she hadnt sold her house and last time i saw him he said shes now back where she came from and though they dont live together he stills goes over there and they are still seeing each other this is 3 years on

Congygal · 23/10/2014 10:09

From what I can tell, it only lasted 2 months from when I kicked him out (after 2 years on and off / lies / working on our marriage etc). Such a shame - apparently she cheated on him

acrabadabra · 23/10/2014 10:48

I was the OW.
Young, in love, yada yada....
When it got physical rather than emotional he ended it with gf. We got together and have been very happy for 14 years and counting.
We got married 7 years ago and have ds who's 4 and dd 3.
It has been hard at times esp when dcs were very little but I'm pretty sure we're going to last.
Dh stayed friends with his ex for a few years after they split and we all had dinner a few times though I felt incredibly guilty (rightly so) and she was amazingly nice to me.

I know there's no excuse for having an affair but sometimes people are just with the wrong person.

Sidge · 23/10/2014 10:56

My ExH is with his OW still (he didn't leave me for her, I kicked him out - an important distinction IMO!).

He left 2.5 yrs ago and I'm actually quite pleased they're still together. At least it wasn't all for nothing, or just a quick shag. They seem happy enough and she's good with my DDs as far as I can tell. I do find myself idly wondering if it will last though, or if she occasionally wonders if he'll do to her what he did to me.

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