If you were left for OW, how many of your ExLTPs/ExH's still with them?

[WellWhoKnew]

Just that really, some of us were pondering.

Did the relationship endure? Or did they eventually break up? What happened next.

I'm a second wife. Was not the OW. Lasted 15 years. First wife, I'm sure, is not surprised, but not unsympathetic.

Thanks all. Really interesting it appears that quite often they end up staying together.

So either they found their 'soulmate' or they just couldn't cope with the fall out all over again.

I have no idea who the OW is, which I'm rather glad about. I hate his guts though so hope she's shit in bed.

Rather suspect she's not though .

Rather depressing that most on here have run the course. One so hopes they will crash and burn

It hasn't happened to me but my ex's very wealthy father ran off with his pert young secretary, leaving ex's mother literally destitute (no benefits system in that country). They also took the kids. The solace is that pert young secretary has had a life of hell with him and, although ex's mum was never again wealthy she was deeply loved and respected in her community.

Why would you hope that their relationship would crash and burn? Given that it broke up our marriage surely it might as well continue - to me it would seem more of a waste for it to have ended. And also him being happy is ultimately a good thing surely? IMO holding onto bitterness isn't going to help anyone.

In an ideal world miranda but when the one person you should be able to rely on shits on you from a great height, your life changes drastically on many leveks, your chikdren are devastated which you primarily have to deal with and you face a future you didn't plan for, sometimes your feelings are irational.

My Exh dumped her after two years for yet another OW. Apparently he was rather a bastard about it. The DCs were still quite young and found it extremely unsettling, so I suppose in that sense it might have been better if he had stayed with her.

I was surprised that a couple of people said they were pleased the OW and ex were still together. Is that because you wouldn't want your ex to have left you for anything less than a major love affair? That you think they are both nasty and thus deserve one another? That you are just nice, forgiving people?

Like I say, I'd rather not spend any more time than necessary thinking about my ex, so am not scouring Facebook to see how happy they are (blocked them and their friends anyway), but there is some curiosity there. Throughout this he's made my feel as if this is all my fault for being a bad person, skipping happily over the part he played in it. She, without knowing me, believed his every word. I'd be guiltily pleased, I'm afraid, if she noticed that maybe his version wasn't entirely accurate, and called him up on some of the behaviour that I put up with for so long. She kept saying what a great dad he must be, for instance. I wonder if she still thinks that, now it's hard to even get him to see the kids for two hours a week, though he lives down the road. (Though that's probably "my fault" somehow!)

I can only assume that stbx lied to the OW, as I cannot imagine any sane woman thinking "oh let's see, he drinks too much, is verbally and physically abusive to his wife and children, he's racist, he has a nasty temper... WOW! HE'S a KEEPER!"

Little wonder that after he lived with her for a few months she kicked him out.

I'm a nice forgiving sort ravenmum. I really can't see how being bitter about it would help me, or my children.

But it hurt so much when it happened and it's been a gradual process for me to feel this way - at first I wasn't quite so nice about it.

I know a man who left his wife and 2dc for a younger OW. It was 6 months before the OW cheated on the man who'd left his family. OW dumped MM at this point.

I also know someone who wishes her xH would stay with the OW, get married etc for the sake of the children from the original marriage - so they have a dad and step mum rather than a dad and 10 different girlfriends which is what he has done. Not surprised nobody is keen to marry him though!

Wow lots of exP's still with their OW in this thread. Mine isn't with his OW - he moved into 2nd partner and now on his 3rd, in the space of 10 months.

He still tries it on with me. I feel sorry for his girlfriend as she's ended up with a lying cheating arse - although completely charming on the surface - and must have no idea that he keeps asking if I'll sleep with him one more time My answers always no by the way.

My stbxh took me out for lunch the told me that night he was leaving. It was all my fault blah blah. Anyway to cut a long story short he had the OW on the go and has now moved to be with her.

He has spared no thought for the hurt he's caused his children and is a cold, nasty creature now.

As it only been a matter of weeks since he left I want him to hurt just as much as he's hurt me. I would like to see them both suffer the tears and sleepless nights that my children have had. But I know they wont because they are both selfish and wrapped up in their own little world. Nothing else matters. They do not care about who they have hurt to get what they think they deserve! I hope they both rot in hell.

Although tomorrow I may think differently and wish her 30 years with the twat!

I had one husband. I was blessed with the opportunity to throw him out because he had another woman. I took it. He married her. They split up. He married another. They stayed together. They lost a child. He has a brain tumour. His own selfishness separated him from our daughter. I don't have to wish him any unhappiness, he's had enough.

Just thinking about him again reminded me - he was a crap snog.

Glad you don't know who the OW is! Saves a lot of pointless emotion

Mistake Number One lived with the OW for two years. He later married someone else and, as far as I know, they're still together. Mistake Number Two married one of his OWs a year after our divorce. They've been married 11 years. I'm very sure neither man has improved greatly. I like both the wives well enough and think they could do with a dose of Mumsnet balls! As long as women keep putting up with men like them, there's no incentive for twerps to clean up their act.

I think ex may have married her - he's started wearing a ring (I see him at work) but not going to ask. It's not a big surprise, I think it was always the plan.

My ex husband who I split up years ago went off with the woman I thought was my best friend (he met her first, in hindsight she only pretended to be my friend to be around him). They are still together and seemingly very happy 20 years later. To be honest, they are far better suited than we ever were, and I wish them well. I don't envy her at all; he has serious mental health issues that are not at all easy to live with, and she always wanted children but they have not had any.

Nope, ExH was with OW for around a year..... he is now happily married to a nice woman with 2 DD's.

We've all moved on. ( but I'm secretly happy it was the OW)

no, mine's relationship with OW didn't last beyond about a year or so/18 months after he left good no idea why

I wonder if the fact that the beginning of the relationship was quite destructive and painful to other people acts as a sort of glue. Knowing the people are waiting for you to crash and burn makes you all the more determined to hold on till the bitter end.

Ex and OW got married, last I heard they had 3 DC.

I actually feel bad for her. He was an awful person, was incredibly violent towards me, manipulative, compulsive liar and cheated multiple times.

I always see myself as the one that got away, dodged a bullet etc.

I'm now married to wonderful man who is loving and very, very supporting

DH's ex-wife who had an affair and left him is still with the OM 18yrs later.

"I can only assume that stbx lied to the OW, as I cannot imagine any sane woman thinking "oh let's see, he drinks too much, is verbally and physically abusive to his wife and children, he's racist, he has a nasty temper... WOW! HE'S a KEEPER!"

Alice, I believe we may have been married to the same man . Although to be fair to STBXH (I have rare moments of being reasonable) he was never physically abusive.

But I guess that also answers the question as to why we are the "mad" ex-wives...

Not married, but fiancé cheated on me with OW, so kicked him out.
I was so unhappy because he really was the One and took me years to get over him. However, had great career, met DH, lovely DC etc.
EXF contacted me recently on FB - he married OW, no kids, stayed with her and they are still together 30 years later - and when we met up for a coffee because he 'happened to be in my town' , he was fat and bald, and I was just sooooo grateful that she took him off my hands! He admitted he has had many affairs, and regrets being stupid enough not to hang on to me. (Charming!)
Being happy is the best revenge.

Cindy you think he was maybe testing the waters with that coffee?