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Relationships

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Original poster

If you were left for OW, how many of your ExLTPs/ExH's still with them?

89 replies

WellWhoKnew · 22/10/2014 22:35

Just that really, some of us were pondering.

Did the relationship endure? Or did they eventually break up? What happened next.

I'm a second wife. Was not the OW. Lasted 15 years. First wife, I'm sure, is not surprised, but not unsympathetic.

OP posts:

CindyLou · 24/10/2014 16:55

Alice yes, indeed, bitter-sweet
And I did, even as we chatted, think about that Elton John song ..'Someone Saved My Life Tonight' - and it was OW who saved mine, so I could go on to have a happy life, and lovely DC not that I would have thought it at the time when it actually imploded...

CindyLou · 24/10/2014 16:59

And in fact, when I see, in RL or on MN, that a DH has left for an OW, or the OP has LTB, I do think (but never say) the chances are very high that the B will regret it, bit it will be too late. What a bleedin' waste...

Dinglethdragon · 24/10/2014 17:48

my ex has been married to the OW for 3yrs, I believe things are "beginning to settle down" as she has been insanely jealous of his past and refuses to let him have contact with me. I'm devastated naturally . I soon realised I no longer had to worry about what he thought, how the kids behaved, the state of the house, his aggressive driving.... I am so much happier and do, seriously, smile a lot more these days. even his mother says I look so much happier

The things in my life that I thought were problematic tuned out to be not such big issues once I didn't have to factor the exH into the equation. I would much rather he stayed happily married to her. If he's happy then he's positive in his relationships with the DC, he stays out of my life and his lovely mum stops worrying about him. win all round.

Dowser · 24/10/2014 21:18

Because he dithered over leaving me for her she dumped him.

Now he's with the second one whom he told my son he didn't love and was going to leave her when he returned to this country.

Then he got cancer. So he's a bit stuck with her as he's living in her house.

I'm told he's not happy with her. Can't be himself when she's around.

It's been about 7 years for them. It's all turned out very sad for him.

Dowser · 24/10/2014 21:31

I wish his second OW had had the balls to have askedme if she could have had him.

I would have replied with pleasure.

It would have saved him having to heave his fat carcass over the garden wall when we left!

I could also have told her about all the times he'd lied, cheated , joined swingers sites and visited prostitutes.....but then she might have saiid thanks...but no thanks!

MuttonCadet · 24/10/2014 21:33

DH exW left for OM 10 years ago, she's now on the 9th BF, most of whom have turned out to be MM.
DH isn't happy about it, he'd rather the kids had some constants in their life.

ZanyMobster · 25/10/2014 10:04

I was with XH for 5 years (married for 3) I was 22 when we got married but like another poster mentioned previously I met my now DH and although did not have any sort of relationship with him I knew if I could feel like that about someone else there is no way I could stay married regardless of what happened next so not technically the OM but if you have feelings for someone else to me it is not much different and would be very hurt if my now DH had done that to me of course. DH also felt the same and ended it with his GF for the same reasons.

My XH didn't treat me particularly well and I have been with DH for over 9 years now and married for 5.

Jollyphonics · 25/10/2014 10:52

My Dad left my Mum when I was 2 and married OW, with whom he had another child. He left OW after a few years for OW2. He left OW2 after a year, although they were never married, and moved on to OW3. He married OW3 and they were together for about 10 years then he left her for OW4, who he eventually married, and they are still together, about 15 years later. He's in his 70s now and they seem happy, so I suspect he'll stay with her.

FishRabbit · 25/10/2014 10:58

They got married exactly a year after he left me... She left him after 12 weeks (due to him shagging the whole world.)

skyeskyeskye · 25/10/2014 12:32

XH and OW have officially been a couple since around March, but he was having an emotional affair with her when he left me 2 years ago, so I suppose you could say that they have been together for 2 years......

She married H1 whilst seeing the man who would go on to become H2 after an affair with him... then she had an affair with XH (his best mate) and dumped H2, after months of affair.

XH is 50, OW is 33 and twice married... He is besotted with her, gives her everything she wants. She will be gone when she realises that the prize she has gained, isn't actually worth it after all.

I am another who says in one way I hope that they stay together, because otherwise all the pain was for nothing, but on the other hand, I hope that she dumps him and breaks his heart...... I also hope that they don't have DC because he is a shit dad to DD.

She is a bitch and constantly interfering in access arrangements with DD and has caused XH to move nearly 3 hours away from DD.

I think that sometimes people can genuinely be with the wrong person and meet somebody else and live happily ever after. However, like OW in this case, some people are just serial adulterers who thrive on the excitement and the fantasy and swiftly move from one person to another when they get bored.

alphabook · 25/10/2014 13:05

My ex (bf, not H) left me for someone else (split up with me then moved straight on to a friend of his who he had claimed while we were together that he wasn't attracted to, also claiming nothing happened between them while we were still together...) They were together for 2 years, got engaged, and then he did exactly the same thing to her. Have to admit it gave me a massive sense of satisfaction considering she set out to "steal" him from me and had absolutely no remorse about it - I think she thought they were soulmates and I didn't deserve him.

GreatAuntDinah · 25/10/2014 13:42

AFAIK ex and OW are still together, eight years on despite him telling his mum he'd married her as a trial run but since she left her third world country to live with him in somwhere she couldn't speak the language I'm not sure she'd have been in a position to leave even if she wanted to.

MissMogwi · 25/10/2014 19:14

My exp is still with the OW ten years later. They are married and have a child. He buggered about for a couple of years and lied to both of us about the other.

I'm glad they stayed together, although I feel quite sorry for her now as he's very shallow and disloyal, not to mention a crap dad. But you reap what you sow.

I was on my own for 8 years and turned my life around, before I met my wonderful DP who is the best man I've ever met and a fantastic stepdad to my daughters.

I did torture myself when xp left, thinking I was ugly, fat, boring and more. But I know I'm bloody lovely, kind and clever. Not to mention modest.

Reese123 · 25/10/2014 20:00

Partner left me for OW, lasted 4 years, they got married but the marriage only lasted a year. He was devastated, since had never been dumped before.

I was slightly sad for him, went through so much heartache for it to end.

Though, really do believe in Karma.... As have seen it in real life.

As they say 'Karma's a bitch' so always treat people the way you would want to be treated

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