So many Lovely Babes having a tough ole time... 
ma I am crossing my fingers that the contract gods will save your fingernails. Lotus flower napkins...that made me smile, your son sounds like a wee darling and no mistake. am I a bad person for wanting you to have a last hurrah before Monsieur Distracted buggers off abroad? xx
hope oh sweetheart, I flaming well am so climbing under the blanket to give you a right big bosie. I wish I knew what to say to make you and ma feel better, but know that I am thinking positive thoughts for you both. Darling, if a glass o red got you through a shitty day, so be it. I'll be holding your hand on Day 1, I promise. xx
Mouse It breaks my heart you feel so in despair. You can do this, lovely Mouse, you can. Darling, you will never forget losing your mam, as I've said before, it shows just how much you loved her. Hold on to that love, and draw strength from the fact she would be so, so proud of her wee girl, keeping on, keeping on. And know that we are willing you on, every step of the way, shoulder to shoulder, xx
phrase and crabby my lovely techy pals, thank you so, so much for your help, it seems so clear and has given me faith that I can do it. Obviously spies aren't great at being incognito when they are hobbling on a fat leg, but will be donning my fedora and shades again afore too long! I feel a bit like lovely crabby, one big claw and a little one. Twins! 
Phrase how did things go today my lass? Have I got the right day? xx
guggs well done on day 3 my lass, you're kicking her ass/erse/arse/bum/bottom/bahookie/heinie (hopes has covered all areas, county and country) into next week, stay strong O Fabulous One! xx
Hello Val and Nance looking forward to getting to know you, this is the place to be, for love and support, xx
joey you smell divine darling, like sunshine and flowers mate, like sunshine and flowers. xx
Faire I wondered what the eligibility criteria would be for the tablet. £3 though... that's a fair amount for one tablet. xx
emo, how's things going? Did you have a good weekend after kicking saggy's arse all week? xx
eccles bugger me, a stone and a lb off your target?!? Fecking amazing, and no mistake. You are going to be so shiny, we will need shades! xx
how's everything going inde*? You okay flower? xx
baby You? A bitch? My fat erse you are! Never. Never ever ever! xx
beaches hello lovey, how the devil are you? Have your house guests arrived? I second lots of loooooong dog walks, they will be your salvation. Stay strong petal, clean the lav, (have you seen the clip of the woman licking her lavvy seat?? Some cleaning programme? 
) do some deadheading, bake us all cakes, anything. You are doing great, damn proud of ye! xx
How are you doing soc? I'm feart to scroll back in case I lose this shiting epic but I know you're in the driving seat sweetheart, xx
venus, how are you?
spanna darling, fat leg or no, I'm counting to ten and I'm coming to get you. Are you under the quilt at the back? Miss you, xx
And that is aboot me for noo, or I'll have fat fingers to match. Flaming hell, I've missed you. Every single one o ye, and I'm sorry if I've missed anybody, 
xxx