Dating thread no 51

[JulietteMontague]

All tales of online and real life dating here!

Velvet, I think I 'get' you on this
some things just take a long time to 'cook'

I've had a loose involvement with a bloke for a couple of years now which has recently started to develop a bit.

I thought it would be a short lived thing and I have frequently assumed the worst when I've not heard from him..only to realise that I was being irrational

My view, for what it's worth Velvet is that you're an extremely intelligent woman who knows your own mind and that this thread is here to offer support to all of us, in whichever situations we find ourselves. You need to do what you feel is right for you.

Scrazy I'm really pleased that seeing your ex again has worked out for you and clarified matters.

ps, fingers crossed that these guys won't hurt us.

Mercury, does this mean you are not looking anymore? I am still open to meeting new people just not via OD.

I'm not sure Scrazy

I was only ever looking for an arrangement for sex anyway.
It's just so hard to predict how things will pan out, and I am usually wrong in whatever assumptions I make

it's all utterly baffling!

Velvet - I can understand because I've never managed to have a real love affair - when I thought I'd found someone special, they turned out be an abusive arse. So I guess if I did find someone who seemed really special I'd be prepared to give it a go too. But is it worth still keeping a profile and going on dates if anyone decent comes along, just to keep your options open? You never know, someone who is special AND ready for a relationship might just come along, but because you have C in the background it won't be so soul destroying.

I have:

1 coffee date for Wednesday while my youngest is at nursery, with a potential casual lover.

And possibly another coffee date on Monday for someone interested in a fairly casual relationship.

And potential evening date with Shorty if i can be bothered to go to London and pay a babysitter.

I have low expectations of finding Love, but my libido requires some kind of compromise!

Have my very oldest friend round for drinks with her husband and her mum. Her mum has offered to take my dcs two days a week after school. I am overwhelmed. Lifesaver from this woman who I am far, far less to than I should be to my mum.

I have volunteered to supervise her starting with OD (widow late60s). She's fab. Rocked up today in false eyelashes and red leather vest. Love her.

We are beng the Three Musketeers here. We'll be alright.

That's fab news OWW

OWW that's brilliant news, at least that gives you some breathing space.

Velvet please don't think I'm ignoring you, cos I'm not. But you just do what you are happy with. Realise what you're worth, though.

Splish are you happy with the casual stuff? I'm a bit of a believer in holding out for what works for you.

Soooooooo relieved. My mum can go off and talk to Jesus but in the meantime we are doing okay. Shes actually been a source of much stress to me over many, many years. feeling oddly refreshed and liberated although scarily teetering on the brink of being totally alone. It will all work out.

All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of thing will be well.

:) at 'my mum can go off and talk to Jesus'

I read a quote from Dawkins the other day. 'When someone says they'll pray for me, I tell them I'll think for them'

oww BRILLIANT!!! :)

velvet we're only saying all this because we care. Do your thing, you will be fine.

Velvet fair enough

OWW being totally alone is easier than having any dependence on someone who drains you emotionally. You'll do it.

western sorry to hear about whats going on with your mum I can imagine it being very stressful, my family can also have very odd behaviour at times and it makes me feel very alone. But its great that your friends mum is willing to help out, and sometimes someone doing something kind like that really lifts your spirits.

Well i had a serious hangover all day today. I still can't believe I called mrworkaholic yesterday. It really annoys me that I sleep with him even though he is such a shit to me.

OWW it's scary being alone, but even scarier having to rely on someone who cannot be relied upon. Sounds like you have great friends.

As for being happy with casual - well, I left ex over 3.5yrs ago, spent a year in a refuge, so I was in no hurry to get back into a "proper" relationship, so I had a few casual relationships that lasted a while. But in the end I decided I needed more. I do want someone special, but can't imagine living with someone. So ideally I'd like to see someone regularly, and enjoy going out with them, not just staying in! But I've got to this great age without finding love - I don't want to stay completely single forever while holding out just in case, if that makes sense...

Sparky has completely vanished. Not heard a thing at all but hes online and added new pictures so I take the hint. Why cant they just say why instead of just disappearing?

Splish - sounds like you are looking for the same kind of thing as me. I can't imagine at the moment living with someone or getting married or any of that. I like being me and the children in our own place. But you never know. I need a special person who's happy to see me twice a week, stay over a bit and take it from there . . .

Feeling a bit pissed buoyed up and optimistic. Planning a holiday for next Easter (long time off, I know) with my friends. My mum has called but I've not picked up. I knew she'd call! She just can't leave it and be ignored. I'm not going to listen to her message either as I know it will just be horrible.

Moving how are you doing now? Hope the hangover is going. MrW is not a good idea but you know that, no need to beat yourself up but no need to go there again. How about deleting his number so you're not tempted?

OWW in similar situations I've turned the answering machine off and put the handset on silent, caller ID to pick up anyone else. Sounds drastic but it stops the constant reminders

Hello
Remember me?

I'm still on the sofa, Ironman is due back from his deployment soon and I can't wait.

I haven't been around for a while because I've been managing a situation with my STBXH, all seems to be sorted now.

How are you all? What's the news? Sending my best to everyone.

Good morning everyone! Just wanted to say a big thank you to you all for your wise words and support.

Has anyone tried the Soreen toastie loaf? Got one for the first time yesterday, hadn't seen them before and it's lovely. Highly recommended.

OWW Never tried it but co-op near me keeps selling them for 50p.

Sparky was back intouch in the early hours of this morning. He had been out drinking and sent a really drunken apology text. I'm ignoring and seeing if I get a sober one before I reply

Hello there Grinchie! Glad to hear Ironman is back soon. Bet you can't wait. Hope things are resolved with your ex.

SP quite right, see what happens when he's sobered up.

Did I hear the mention of SOREEN????

Ha thought that would lure you out of lurkerdom Ike!

I know facile fucker aint I !! Im ok though keepin up to speed with folk just feelin a bit quite thats all...does happen occasionally. Hows mommy dearest today OWW?