Dating thread no 51

[JulietteMontague]

All tales of online and real life dating here!

that should be quiet btw

A lot of backtracking has been done today. She came round to see me (her idea). Think her nose is a bit out of joint that I've got another arrangement for the dc sorted out. She is a lot more conciliatory and has said she'll babysit if the dc are in bed (fair enough) and also have them a bit in the holidays (not sure, will see how things go). She was a bit taken aback when I said I was going to ask school to take her off as emergency contact and told me there was no need for all that. Hmm.

Am happy things are a bit better, but I'm treading very warily here and I'm under no illusions.

At first when I read what she had said to you, I thought that maybe she was suffering a mental health episode.... now I am wondering if she has a personality disorder type thing going on...very strange behAviour. Most unsettling fo you OWW.

Hello all,

Glad your mum is being nicer oww. Hope things start to settle now.

Big wave to grinchie ad everyone else!!

I am chatting to someone from pof. He seems nice enough. 2 years younger than me(!), no kids, never married, good job, ticks in a lot of my boxes. Even good at the chat but I'm just a bit meh. Can't work out if it is about him or just od in general. He is really keen to meet up and I just don't know if I can be bothered. I should be feeling brighter shouldn't I? Just think I am so weary now after dodgy Mexican voice man. He really put me off and the thought of meeting up with anyone is turning my tummy a bit. But he seems nice and what I would want in a man. Although the age thing and no kids kind of worries me. Any advice??

Yes Ike I think you could be right. She has always been a strange and difficult person but lovely if she is getting her own way, very unpleasant if anyone goes against her or calls her on her behaviour. She's nearly seventy so I think some of the worsening behaviour could be early dementia, but I've no idea really.

Pom he sounds good so far and two years isn't a big age difference. How long have you been chatting with him? Maybe you need to have a reasonable/good/blooming fantastic date to get you over the Mexican accent man. But if you really feel like you don't want to, then don't.

pom I get what you're saying, I'm meh about doing gone email back and forth thing, just feel I want to meet immediately before I waste my time. 2 yrs and no kids is fine, I would meet up and see how you feel them.

OWW I'm a bit worried that MD is aware enough to switch into DM mode when being vile hasn't had you fawning. I don't know how forms of dementia manifest but whether she is playing up, ill or whatever her behavior is still damaging to you and DC. Hard hat on for this

Full PPE on Juliette! I'm very wary of whatever's going on here. I know she's not changed but I think she frightened herself with how far she's gone and what she stands to lose.

I'm going to stick with my new child care plans for the rest of the school year, at least, which will give us all a breathing space and no need to have contact with her unless we want to (and at the moment we don't).

Will catch up properly later, but wanted to quickly say lots of thank yous for saying such lovely things. I said a breezy hello and happy birthday to ex, wafted about being sociable and chatting to lots of people, and maintained my dignity until after they left (they went early because it was his birthday, and god forbid he should not be the centre of attention for the whole day on his birthday), at which point I got completely smashed and pulled the bridesmaid's Plus One. Nothing going on between them, so I wasn't treading on anyone's toes, and he lives far enough away that it wouldn't be anything more than a ONS, but it has boosted my ego a bit!

Yay for flip couldn't have wished for a better result!!!

Your plan of action sounds eminently sensible OWW, she's clearly not to be trusted, no matter how contrite she might be at the moment.
Are you still getting on well with Indie ?

Juliette how's it going with Dutchy, is he still a go-er ?

Lubes how was the meet up thing ?

I have tried Soreen Toastie, it's a lovely, lovely thing.

Pom it's all supposed to be fun, if you're not having fun then don't meet him.

Hello Grinchie

Miss you, Ikey

I'm in the unusual position of having more men on the go than I actually know what to do with but I did let Software go yesterday, such a sweet man, I hope he finds someone lovely.

Fantastic news Flipper ! That really is a dream outcome, in your face, knobby ex !

Tomorrow we celebrate 6 months since voldemortgate I have a bottle of wine chilling and every carbohydrate imaginable for dinner as tomorrow I start losing the stone I have gained since I stopped smoking. I am making good decisions now to be the best me I can be. :)

flipper that sounds like a brilliant day, go you! :)

flipper well done, no better outcome than that!

Snape voldie who? enjoy the feast and good luck

OWW definitely think keeping your Mum at arms length is the best option at the moment, but even if she starts behaving again, I would seriously think about entrusting your DC's with her again. It all sounds very worrying behaviour and if it is a mental health problem she could have an "episode" at any time.

Grinchie Hi, good news Ironman is home soon!

waves to Kin, Ike et al.

I am having a tough day/weekend, been on my own and madly clearing out the house ready for a move in a couple of months time. I have uncovered loads of photos of STBXH and myself as well as valentine cards and birthday cards. Beautiful cards full of sentiments and one on which he wrote, I mean every word of what it says, always and forever .... sent in February last year and by May I suspect he was having an affair. I know he was/is an abuser and that all that love and adoration was conditional on me being someone who behaved how he wanted and did what he said, but my god it hurts bad. Has made me question Mr EA this weekend, he isn't here and I am just so scared of being hurt again and giving myself to someone and finding out that things are not as I thought. Sorry, self indulgent tosh, I just don't want to leave my home.

oh and found my passport, which he stole last year to stop me and kids going on holiday ..... obviously replaced it in a hidey place after the holiday should have happened,for me to find at some point in the future. sums him up really.

tigsy have you burned them?!

all ripped up Snape and put out with the rubbish in black bin liners, just a shame he wasn't in one of them too

How horrible Tigsy. I can remember finding the same type of stuff when I was clearing out ready to move house, lovely cards promising undying love, saying me and the dc were his life. All rubbish. Best gone and forgotten. Don't let these worthless bits of paper make you feel unsure about MrEA. He's not the same type at all and he's shown you time after time how much he loves you.

Nora Indie remains lovely. Also have the Italian, the deputy head and the reappearing engineer (who's given me his number) as serious back up. Oh and Rick and the one off Match. Aargh. Too many men!

Tigsy the thing is when they write that kind of thing, it's just words to them and those words are cheap and tinny and as flimsy as the card they're written on, finding them hurts because you believed them at the time and now you can see them for what they were, there's nothing self indulgent about that.

Snape -

OWW did I miss the story of the deputy head ? It's raining men !

I think he's a bit too sporty for me Nora - apparently he used to be head of pe at my old school (although not whilst I was there of course). Have irrational fears of him appearing in tight white shorts and blowing his whistle at me.

PE teacher ? Are they not always a bit, you know, fascist ?

I know, they like sending people on cross country runs in a hailstorm whilst they stand indoors in a nice fleecy track suit drinking coffee. And laughing when you get tangled up in the hurdles or get whacked in the boob by a hockey ball. Not that any of these things happened to me twenty-odd years ago and remain indelibly etched into my memory, oh no.

We didn't play hockey, the nuns thought it was 'unladylike' - I'm all about the ladylike, me.

Flipper great news re the wedding! Couldn't have gone better if you'd planned it! Glad you had fun.

Western good news re your mum, but I think treading very warily is wise, for quite some time to come.

Tigsy well done for ripping up and chucking all that stuff, to new beginnings and all that :)

Went to a party last night (which was basically about 150ft from C's house, across a couple of back gardens...) got rather drunk, and one of my friends made me a bit sad - thankfully I was still sober, if she'd said it when I was drunk I would have HOWLED. It wasn't intentional, we were talking about C etc, and she said how much she wanted me to find someone worth of me, and how impossibly hard it must be for me having been on my own from 25 (when my dad died) with no-one to love and care about me :(