Twunt scored a full house and won himself a ride in a police car

[BeingAWifeIsNotForMe]

I have name changed, not ready to deal with rl yet.

After shits loads of ea, sulking, rages, controlling behaviour, blaming the whole world for his actions etc, etc, etc, tonight poor hard done by twunt was bathing dd (I had engineered this as I am sick of him being a useless twat), he started shouting at her, I went up to see to her and he kicked off.

Screaming at me to fuck off, pushing me about, all in a tiny bathroom being witnessed by hysterical dd, he wouldn't let me go to dd to calm her down, just carried on screaming and pushing me out of bathroom and towards the top of the stairs, I really thought he was going to shove me down the stairs.

I managed to get back in the bathroom, he ripped stairgate down i guess to make it easier to get me down the stairs, he came back in shoving and screaming, so I said fine let me go and I will fuck off, he let go I tried to get out of the bathroom but where he was blocking me from gettingnto the bath, when I opened the bathroom door it hit his head.

He went apeshit, tried to push me down the stairs again, I managed to get past him and downstairs to phone police. 3 lovely officers were here in no time and have taken him in for questioning.

They said that from what he has said in custody they will probably let him go with a caution, and will come back when he returns for his van to prevent a breach of the peace.

I don't have anyone left in rl close enough to turn to, as being a by the book style twunt he has made sure I have been distanced from friends.

Dd is only 3, but all she kept asking was "is daddy going away in the police car, I'll miss daddy" what do you say to that?

[BeingAWifeIsNotForMe]

Had a good day today, went to a family fun day thingy at Dd1's church, Dd2 enjoyed it after she got over the initial noise levels

Had a proper (veggie) roast when we got back, can't remember the last time we did that, usually have dsd on a sunday, fussy doesn't begin to describe her!

The Aunt and Unc came over this afternoon and left a copy of Peter Kay dvdvd, I have been sat here roaring at it [bugrin]

Might go out and 'treat' myself to a new lawn mower tomorrow, twunt had petrol mower and strimmer I can't get the buggers started, knackered tendons in both hands

[blackcurrants]

Well done you for having a fab Easter :)
And sorry to hear about your poor tendons - but quite right for the idea of getting something you can actually use!

[BeingAWifeIsNotForMe]

Tomorrow I finally get to see solicitor, not sure how much will be achieved in one visit.

It's really starting to hit home for Dd, she's been crying in her sleep, waking up sobbing for daddy will ask tomorrow how to go about arranging some sort of supervised contact.

Took Dd out for a bit of retail therapy, got some new shoes and dinosaur doodles (we don't do pink and girly)

Also on the list for tomorrow is try again to get twunt off the tenancy and then local council to get him removed from council tax. Wish I knew some mean types who could just get him removed permanently [bugrin]

[foolonthehill]

Lots if you go prepared!!

good luck

[BeingAWifeIsNotForMe]

Bastards. Had appointment with solicitors this morning.

Got there 20 mins early, sat and waited.

10 mins after my appointment (so 30 mins of waiting) was told 'sorry Lisa has had to leave for court, when would you like your appointment?'

I gave the receptionist my iciest stare, replied '10 minutes ago' and left.

Now to find another bloody solicitor

[BeingAWifeIsNotForMe]

And I REALLY want a cigarette now!!!

[kalidanger]

Soz, not been following this but don't smoke

[kalidanger]

Ooh, sorry again - supposed to be a grin and a wink there too

[BerylStreep]

Sometimes these things happen - but it would have been better if the solicitor had come out herself and apologised.

Be strong - don't smoke. You have done so well in dealing with all of this.

[BeingAWifeIsNotForMe]

None of the 3 solicitors I tried yesterday have bothered phoning back, beginning to despair of ever getting this sorted.

I know it's easter hols, but I would still expect there to be some cover, especially when they claim to offer emergency/out of hours cover for dv sufferers.

Had a productive morning spring cleaning, will all be undone moments after Dd returns didn't cave in on the smoking either just hammered the e-cig almost to the point of oblivion

[blackcurrants]

Well done for not smoking!

[mathanxiety]

OP, keep on trying with sols. The legal profession is not known for travelling at the speed of light.

[foolonthehill]

do you know anyone who can recommend??

[BeingAWifeIsNotForMe]

So after a couple of productive weeks, twunt off the tenancy, finances getting sorted etc, everything is going tits up.

Earlier this week I had to sign an incident form at the cm's as Dd had walloped another child in the face with a toy, leaving a mark very close to the childs eye. We discussed how to handle it, and next session all seemed to be fine.

I have just had a text from cm asking if I can collect 10 mins early as she needs to discuss Dd has bitten one of the children

Hv is coming to see me in a couple of weeks, just wondering whether to give her a call to discuss.

It feels awkward telling Dd off once she gets home as it will be too long after the incident, but I can't not say anything either iyswim.

Grrrrrrrr

[foolonthehill]

I am a CM...these things happen, even when all is rosy in the home garden.

Perhaps try talking in general about what is nice/not nice and doing some play with teddies or dolls about what happens if you disagree...do several play times of about 10 minutes over a week or so.

this is not because of you....if she starts the play sessions with replays of somethings that she has seen it is an ideal opportunity to tell her why these things are wrong and how nobody should hurt others, but it may just be unrelated.

you are a good mum...you will be fine, so will DD

[BeingAWifeIsNotForMe]

Thanks fool

That sounds a very good idea.

Just off to face the music

[foolonthehill]

good luck [thumbs up]

[elfycat]

Just to say I caught up on this thread and it sounds like you've been doing a good job of looking after yourself and DD2.

And biting? DD1 (4.2) bit 2 children at nursery on Tuesday (including DD2, so only one non-family victim). Kids just have their moments, I think DD1 is unsettled by all the talk of starting school. We had a chat about it the first night that it's not very nice, she wouldn't like it and maybe there's other ways of dealing with her feelings , and then a more general chat about how she's feeling the following day. Not that she articulated anything much.

[BeingAWifeIsNotForMe]

Had a long chat with cm, it seems as though it's an attention seeking thing.

Both times have been whilst cm is making lunch / otherwise engaged. After the first incident we agreed Dd would stay in the kitchen with cm when she was getting lunch ready, this appeared to do the trick, however today cm needed to pop to the loo, obviously didn't want to leave Dd in the kitchen alone, so took her back into the main room, sat her down with a book, and told her to sit nicely, read her book and she'd be back very soon.

Door was left open so cm could hear what was going on, as she came back down the stairs other child started crying, Dd was now sat in others childs seat on the other side of the room, other child standing with Dd's nasher prints on elbow.

Dd and other child are very close in age and do have a sibling like relationship. They are either thick as thieves or squabbling, there has been 'rough play' before on both sides, but other child has never attacked (for want of a better word) Dd.

We are going to continue with Dd being in kitchen during lunch prep and follow fools suggestions above and hope we can nip it in the bud no pun intended.

[foolonthehill]

The trouble with this age is that violence gets results...lots of noise and excitement and attention!! i am sure it won,t be a lasting problem and you sound like cm and you have a good plan.

[onefewernow]

One way I know of is for cm to give lots of sympathetic attention to the other child, and ignore the biter, if that helps.

[BeingAWifeIsNotForMe]

One That's how she played it, Dd put straight out on the bottom stair, whilst bitee got lots of hugs and sympathy, within earshot of Dd.

Cm is briIliant, we are generally in agreement on how to deal with any issues, she is ever so slightly softer than me, I still need to learn to pick my battles

[onefewernow]

Does she know about the recent split? Give it 3 months, it wil all blow over with DD. Poor you.