Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating chat thread still going! Number 39

999 replies

lubeybooby · 02/02/2013 12:26

Here we are all

Dating related chit chat here

OP posts:
NcNcNcNc · 07/02/2013 17:24

I don't get the handstand thing, my DH is back tmrw from a week away, do share so I can nick some tips Grin

watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 17:49

for those with a delicate nature, please just skip the entire post :)

Nc,
requires:
One strong man
One bed
One woman who doesnt get dizzy

Woman lying on bed, on back, with head hanging off it, so, upside down..., to erm, open throat widely, and be a good height oral/ deep throat. Man also has nice boobs to play with.

Man then pulls woman up, from under bum, so her vagina is right up by his face... woman still is good position for oral... but now also recieving her self, from a nice angle, also good for fingers, or whatever bussy device might float your boat.

Woman slips, puts hands down on floor, man holds her up, tightly. hey presto, amazing sex handstand, with guaranteed orgasms.

:)

Snapespeare · 07/02/2013 18:05

That sounds far too athletic for me...and given my décolletage I might actually smother myself. :) hell mend you though watch

Snapespeare · 07/02/2013 18:06

Hang on, I got confused. Is said gentleman caller standing by side of bed at the start of all this? Kneeling at side of bed?

I need a diagram.

watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 18:08

i nearly smothered myself with my stomach!!!

I am not tiny. But i am bendy. and stupid :)

Funnily enough i said the same to him when it was all over.... quite a long time after the sex handstand......

watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 18:11

standing.

Having to bend at the knees a bit for the deep throat bit. unless hes very very short.... or your bed is high.

so, say, woman laying across bed to start with. with head hanging off ( so upside down) man standing behind her upside down head... so the penis goes in the mouth. ( so sorry scrazy)

Its a good angle for head. plus they can then lean forward and play with your lady bits should they so want to/ should you shout at them to do so.

clearer?

mercury7 · 07/02/2013 18:15

scrazy i hear you...i'm not cringing out of shock..it's just that crowing about ones sex life makes me cringe a lil :o

MsCellophane · 07/02/2013 18:16

the dangling head I get, the handstand - I'd need the hulk to be able to hold me up!

Sounds like a laugh though, I don't like serious sex, I like the kind which has laughs

watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 18:16

caw caw :)

watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 18:18

so do i mrsc, it was fun. I like fun, its what its all about, yes? :)

MsCellophane · 07/02/2013 18:19

Surely, 'crowing' about sex is best done in an anonymous setting - like a talk board?

I guess it's some of us have been here a long time, so it's more like gossiping with your mates on a friday night

I sadly live my sex lives through others, as I don't have one!

Winefiend · 07/02/2013 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Snapespeare · 07/02/2013 18:22

Gottit. Blush

but doubt I would ever 'get' it

Grin
watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 18:28

mrs c, indeed.
Lots of us have been on here for ages, we all ' know' each other. Im damn excited, ive not been laid since sept ( bar fri), im going to tell people, as i would my friends, esp so as this is a dating thread, and it was from a date... and im not the only one to have ever mentioned sex. there has been plently of mentioing in the past.

snape - you never know.... all it takes is 23 condoms, rum and.... :) You have your date tomorrow, who knows, you might have a sex cartwheel?

Middy86 · 07/02/2013 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 18:38

middy, it dont want to go to the cinema with him. I dont even want to go on meals out with him. I dont want that, it was a purely physical reaction, probably hence the fingers up the nose thing and licking his face. I just want him.

I dont even know if i have feelings in that way for him, how could anyone after seeing someone 3 times. Im not going to broach something that doesnt need broaching. If it becomes something that does, then i will. All relationships do not need to end in marriage or even long term. It doesnt make them wrong if they dont either.

It doesnt feel weird having his keys, same as it doesnt feel weird chatting to him such a lot. it feels good... i like it.

Snapespeare · 07/02/2013 18:43

Blush he strikes me as the slow and gentle.... Which would really turn my head further at the moment, having had the kinky fuckery with the prof.

Totally get what you're saying about no sex since whenever. I am fit to burst. I might drown him. Blush

We're currently texting about Harrison ford. kinNora Wink

watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 18:45

ah, he sounds sweet.
i dont like slow and gentle, i like the total opposite, with some laughs thrown in.
you excited about fri? what are you doing? bar drowning him

Middy86 · 07/02/2013 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 18:50

anyway, i hate courting. When i met my ex fiance, before my ex husband, i saw him and actually ran down the road after him to invite him to the party i was holding at that momment. I dragged him in, and then pretty much straight upstairs. He was beautiful.

My ex husband, i saw, and was shagging 20 mins after meeting him for the first time.

YWK, i saw, and approached, tosser he might have been, but a beautful one at that. I would have jumped on him, but he was resilliant to my charms.

When i fancy someone, i just want them. I cant be doing with pretending to be coy and wandering round a museum. I just want to fuck them and be naked with them. the meals and stuff come later, when things calm down.

The fingers up the nose thing, keys thing, is just because i feel totally comftable with him i guess, and him me. Was the same with the other ex's too.

Middy86 · 07/02/2013 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 18:55

i might hop into bed with the next person. its been 3 dates!! its nothing.

I KNOW he felt something, cant deny its there. Still doesnt mean he wants anything else. Doesnt mean i necessarily do, its been 3 dates. noone knows anything at this stage.

I am happy to jump into bed and deal with anything later. always have been, always will be. I have never been of the ' hold off on sex' mindset. Sex is fun, its free, its the best thing in the world :) why would i deny myself that?
FYI, hes not just having sex with me... im also having sex with him. Its not a one sided thing.......

I dont need a hug, im a very sorted person, thanks.....

watchoutforthatsnail · 07/02/2013 18:58

no. one was an ex because he turned to drugs..... and then died. I was with him for 2 years.....

One was an ex husband. married for 10 years....

YWK i never slept with.

Ive slept with others, and no, i just dont see any issue with it at all. If i fancy someone, i want to sleep with them, instantly. Im not a slow burning type, ive tried to be and failed, im just not that way, just as you couldnt sleep with someone straight off... i couldnt wait months, id be bored to tears. We are just different, noones right.

Middy86 · 07/02/2013 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KinNora · 07/02/2013 19:05

Ooh ooh, my Harrison Ford klaxon went off ! Does Nameless have a life size cardboard Indy that I can molest borrow ?

( Obviously this the' HF Lordy Lordy Han/Indy Take Me Now !' Klaxon as opposed to the ' HF Middle Aged Numpty With Ridiculous Earring and Twiglet Girlfriend' klaxon )

Swipe left for the next trending thread