Dating chat thread still going! Number 39

[lubeybooby]

Here we are all

Dating related chit chat here

im not going to get hurt. im not stupid, im not going to put myself in a position of getting hurt.

i can be a somewhat selfish person sometimes, if im not getting something out of something, im not going to do it.

You can say what you like, you are entitled to your opion :)

But, i dont recall you saying the same to others who have done the same as i ( and there are a fair few of us on this thread)

He is very sweet. Strange isn't it. I start to get almost worried because there hasn't been filth! I've been desensitised by a bunch of twats on the internet! I like making him laugh. and it's really strange to do the teenage snogging thing...I was thinking about you and the guy who wouldn't fuck you watch I can see how frustrating that must have been... But I've throughly stalked researched his twitter and OKC question responses and I think he just might be an old-fashioned romantic. And I'd love that right now. I'd love the slow build up and giggly eyes open sex. It's different.

Thing with the prof, nice bloke, very smart, accomplished, sexy, dominant. I did like him on a personal level, but I felt like a challenge. Once he'd fucked me a couple of times (& I'd fucked him...) he toddled off with someone who wanted children. That's ok. I don't feel used. It was nice and it served it's purpose.... But nameless feels different. It's difficult to describe. I think because he's so laid back, doesn't have (professional) goals as such, because of his illness, it feels different...the occasional wet-fish angst of the last couple of days of uncertainty, it feels nice. I like it.

Date three unconfirmed. Either tomorrow or Saturday. Suspect it will be his house again, which I like.

Flipper so very, very sorry. Your positive attitude and bravery are amazing. Thinking of you even though I've not been posting.

Everyone else - blimey, can't keep up so sorry not to reply to you all.

Lovely, slow, gentle courting is wonderful. And it doesn't stop you from having sex either. I love being taken out for meals and drinks and films and walks in the park and all that rigmarole. And having sex (in my basque).

Watch please don't take this the wrong way, but are you okay? Really okay with what's going on? Some of your posts recently sound like you're trying hard to convince everyone, including yourself, that things are great, but then you keep letting slip things that really do sound like you want a more long-term relationship and to be wanted ufor yourself as well as your body. A lot of it sounds like bravado. Hope you're alright.

snape, i thought all the kissing and no filth was nice, until it got to date 7 and hadnt progressed at all, then we had a date with no physical contact at all and he said at the end' we didnt do well with our kissing today, did we'
urgh, THAT made me feel horrible.

i hope you have a lovely date.

I will stand up and say I know where Watch is coming from

I have had many sexual partners (around 70) and only 2 relationships since I was 15. I like sex and have lots of fun having sex. I have never seen sex as something 'special'. I don't the whole idea of saving yourself or being the gatekeeper of sex. I don't see the point of waiting when for most sex is the ultimate goal. IF it feels right 10 minutes or 10 weeks, then it's right

Sex won't cause the hurt, being with someone who treats you badly is what hurts

No, im really fine.
I dont know where you are getting that from at all. Ive seen him 3 times.

id like something long term, but not int he sense of living with someone, nor getting married. And ive not got time to dedicate to someone... and nor do i want to ( said i was selfish). Im pretty much like lubey, as in casual works nicely for me.

Ive just met the poor chap, notihng has been decided yet, its ok to take things as they come and re evalute as they go along.

Thanks mrs c :)

I know im not the only one... i just dont view it in that way, never have done, never will do.

It is being with someone who treats you badly that causes the hurt, or, to phrase it better, ALLOWING someone to treat you badly. As most of you have seen on this thread, i am hardly backwards when it comes for sticking up for myself, or hiding what im thinking, quite why you think i would when it comes to men, i dont know.

If he behaves like a shit, then ill stop seeing him, its as easy as that. Until then i shall enjoy as many sex handstands as i can.
:)

Things might grow and develop from that, and they might not. And thats ok.... as long as im ok.

And I think that's important, watch to re-evaluate, take an occasional check --in point...and not have a mind-set as in up-thread... Don't panic & reject or sabotage because you start to feel something! Feeling stuff is amazing! It's the measure of being human and not letting the bastards of the past continue to fuck us over. Equally, having fun is good. :) you're a hot sexy beast (in the nicest possible sense) of a woman. You'll be fine...& you know what, if you're not, then the vipers are here.

All manner of things will be well (which I am now acroynming to AMOTWBW)

I don't do the jumping into bed thing (did when I was a lot younger, didn't end well), but that's probably because of my own fucked upness around 'nice' women don't I know its all crap but takes a long time to get over the conditioning.

Ike or maybe Mercury (sorry) said something really interesting up there ^ about some men not sleeping with friend's sisters because they didn't want to 'diss' their 'property' - really fucked up view (from the men) and something my brother would definitely think.

Anyway, back to the headstand - jesus too athletic for me, I'm really dull in bed And I hate 69 stuff, I need to concentrate whether giving or receiving - can't do both at once

Ah, watch. I think I get where people are coming from a little bit.

Like the pirate - you did like the fact that he liked you for you, and not your bedroom antics. This of course was before it turned out that he had massive issues in some way or another with sex, but still, you liked it at first.

The fireworks with goat boy - you were so happy about those, in a love/romantic way.

Every one that turns out to be arse like goat boy with his nothing heavy comment is met with a plaintive cry here of 'whhhyyyyyy can't I find a nice one?'

But then you seem to accept the 'nothing heavy' and convince yourself it's what you want too?

Fair enough you don't want to live with someone but I think you do want to be loved and wanted and I just worry you will miss the chap that is right for you in that way because you're too caught up again with someone who did look promising initially but turned out to only offer the crumbs of the whole cake.

I know you don't stay with anyone just for the sake of it, or anything like that, don't get me wrong. You're good at dumping when it really isn't right. But I can't help but feel you've already been hurt by his 'nothing heavy' comment and have since told yourself you didn't want that anyway?

Feel free to flog me if I'm wrong, I'll even provide a birch twig... but that is how it has appeared to me

Sorry, that sounded like I judge anyone who 'jumps' into bed - I don't, I don't give a shit what any two consenting adults do

And I did jump into bed with my ex first night - ended up together 6 years

Nearly hit my daughter tonight.

Having a really fucking horrible day, been crying all day nearly.

Everything is just getting too much. My mum is going to be discharged soon. She is incontienent, on diazepam for anxiety, she doesn't understand what has happened to her. She wants to go home, I know she thinks that going home means she will be all better. Her partner isn't going to cope, even with the care package, he is 83, he needs to wake up and smell the fucking coffee.

48 aww :( that is a whole lot of stress and worry, it's bound to be really affecting you, it would anyone. Please lean on anyone you can for support (including here as well as rl!) and be very kind to yourself.

God, I'm sorry 48, that sounds like a really shitty day. Has your mum been given a social worker ?

the fireworks where physical.
I had an ephinay this morning while i was getting ready.

It seems i get a massive buzz from things being ' exciting'. Quite how i didnt realise this before, i dont know. Much as people are adrelin junkies, or into drugs or drink, i get off on excitement. be that from off road segway racing, going to loads of gigs/ festivals, doing something a bit nuts, driving with no petro. or 1001 one other things... i really really get off on the ' excitness' feeling.

I think what happened on our first date, being that i did fancy him, THAT was exciting. Then the flirting, the fingers up the nose, the face lick... all stuff thats out of the ordinary, thats exciting... so i start buzzing off that feeling.... so, when he kisses me - in the street ( also exciting) im high as a kite. Not really down to him, very much down to me.

so, it wasnt from a love/ romantic way, heck, in no way could the date be described as romantic, but it could be described as exciting :)

the one i dumped. not exciting. had we had had sex, probably it might have worked out, who knows. but i cant live without any excitment.

I dont feel he needed to say about anything heavy, since his dating profile said wants to date but nothing serious, and, who the hell pigeon holes sometihng after 2 dates. I did say this to him as well, well, in fact i did say ' yeah, thanks for telling me that, but i didnt actually ask you to move in with me, did i?
I felt fucked off that anything possible was cut off before it had any chance, but, thats his choice. and its my choice if i want to see him based on that.

Bearing in mind the high excitment levels this week has provided, there is no way im not going to. I love it. I bloody love it. friends at work said ive been beaming, im literally buzzing off it. i love it, so much.
Today was amazing fun, not only was it hot as hell, but it was also exciting. Im not losing out here, at all.

And now of course, i seem crazy... but there are far worse things and more harmful things to get a buzz off, than a natural high.

48. can you get some help for you? you sound like you need someone to lean on a bit too.

She has a social worker. She wants to go home. So going just have to stand back and watch it fail. Then pick up the pieces.

48

We all have 'snap' moments where we lash out and want to slap. I've done it with 2/3rds of my kids. They can be utterly exasperating, for all good intentions. It happens. It's horrible, but it happens. Focus on the fact that you didn't do it.

I spent my childhood with an aged great aunt with Alzheimer's and double incontinence. Not a picnic. I'm so sorry you have this, but (sorry) her partner is 83. He isn't going to wake up and smell anything., I'm so, so sorry...but (bluntly and with kindness) it isn't indefinate, it's just so very sad. I lost my mum 20-odd years ago to cancer and it was a horrible growing-up moment that had personal repercussions and very long term effects. You are strong and you will get through this...it's just the getting through that sucks.

48 that sounds so hard. What a stressful time. Could the sw help put together a more appropriate care package?

God watch I wish my son was here and not in OZ, he is so caring. My daughter is a selfish bitch.

I am ignoring Mr R&R, just can't be dealing with crying down the phone.

Have you felt like talking to Mr R&R about it or is it too raw at the moment ?

I know the chances that I am near enough to be of any practical help are very slim but if you want me to help in any other way, I'd like you to pm me - I hate to think of you, or anyone else on here, this down.

48 [hug]

Watch - ok that makes sense

We do differ a little bit then in that I am perfectly open to falling in love, and in fact really enjoy that, but for me love doesn't have to mean heavy/living together and all that jazz, it doesn't even have to mean long term. BC and I proved that I guess.

I like my love/romance/affection/tenderness and the things like meals out or even just cooking indoors - for the shared experience and conversation and loving their mind (and having mine loved!). Which in turn makes me all the more lusty. Phwoar. A big part is about good sex too but a bit of connection and feeling loved/wanted and sharing different things makes it all the better for me.

Different things do it for us I guess but same goal (as in please do not want to live with me and don't think I want to live with you, Mister)

48 - my Gran is being released from hospital Monday and after a 'trial' trip home for an hour we now have a SW and a care package being put into place (she can barely walk and is registered blind after lots of strokes) pm me if you would like details

Thankyou all so much.

Tomorrow I hope to have my strong head back on. Just tough doing it every fucking day.

yeah, i just like excitment.

I was wondering why i wanted to walk over the o2 when im terified of heights...... its just because id get such a HUGE buzz off it, which would last ages....

probably explains why most of my dates are crap, because im bored to tears....

im perfectly happy my myself, ive got all my needs met in one way or another from various people.... i know people love me for me. or like me for me.
i just buzz off the excitment....

its also probably why ywk lasted so long, because of WHO he was, the fact that i KNEW i shouldnt talk to/ engage with him, and because he was an unpredictable fuck. So, again, it wasnt about him.. but about me. if that makes any sense.

48. i dont know what to say, not having had much direct contact with this kind of thing myself, only with grandparents. all i do know, is fight, if you dont think its right, push for more care, stand up and shout for it.