Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The all new, sparkly,2013 Dating Thread - 35!

999 replies

watchoutforthatsnail · 06/01/2013 21:01

off you go.

OP posts:
ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:16

No Annilingus Arse ....even more exotic!

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:16

Nevermind the mushy bloody peas ....

MsArsebiscuit · 09/01/2013 18:17

Ohhhh, not cunnilingus .....

( story of my life )

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:18

Soz love, they are out of that at mo...

lubeybooby · 09/01/2013 18:18

That reminds me, I must text Mr Clever.

FlorentinePogen · 09/01/2013 18:18

I would expect a side portion of annilingus if I was paying for a double portion

FFS ! Shock Confused Before the watershed !

....or did you type 'asparagus' and predictive text kind of arsed it up ? Wink

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:22

For your delicate eyes Flo we will go with your suggestion (Ike assumes Juliettes 'innocent' facial expression)

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:24

Ewwww Lubes no.....that was purely for 'humour's' sake....NOT reality...people dont really do that sort of thing.....do they????

lubeybooby · 09/01/2013 18:26

So, I just text him - why is it soon as a first contact kind of text is sent (rather than part of a conversation) suddnely makes me think ARGH? as in argh will he reply does he even want to see me again argh argh argh.

lubeybooby · 09/01/2013 18:28

Not on first dates ike Wink

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:28

Oh I know Lubes ...orrible..its why we have this thread ...to chat shit until the reply text/message shows up...

JulietteMontague · 09/01/2013 18:28

Large cod and chips £10.40 takeaway here. That's at the good one though.

Statistics to pounce/putting out ratio over dates - say 33 first dates

Second dates 1:11 including Mr Vague/split bill

Snogs on second dates 2:33.

Put out 2:33 (relationships 1:33, dalliances 1:33)

Random unexpected first date kiss pouncers 4:33.
(1:33 nasty, 1:33 traditionally dodged several times, 1:33 told on date 1 so decides to put his hands inside my coat on date 2 instead, 1:33 on cheek)

I am bored Grin

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:29

Hmmmm I would want to know their dietry habits first I am a VEGETARIAN you know...standards n' all that..

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:30

dietary

MsArsebiscuit · 09/01/2013 18:30

I don't know, Lubey, text etiquette stresses me out. Although the stress will be worth it when he's disporting his full 6'4" of sauciness in your shower again.

lubeybooby · 09/01/2013 18:31

ok chatting shit til he replies... currently cooking a curry using creme fraiche instead of cream (new year diet!) it will be ok won't it?

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:31

'Ang on now Jules you will have to explain these stats my mind is still on arse licking...

MsArsebiscuit · 09/01/2013 18:32

There's something about Mr Vague's behaviour that seems rather unattractive, Juliette.

lubeybooby · 09/01/2013 18:32

oh god Ms Arse. I do love that memory I have to say gorgeous arms gorgeous chest general gorgeousness siiiigh

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:32

Well is it low fat lubes if so leave to the last minute or it kind of separates..

MsArsebiscuit · 09/01/2013 18:33

Lubey, should be - I've used it in curries

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:34

Huh ....you are making me think I should give the 29 year old a whirl now he was 6'2" ...but no I dont like sex ...

Snapespeare · 09/01/2013 18:39

voice how very sad about your friends husband.

bant yes, she paid for the meal & drove you across town & she didn't get any action? Wink I always split a bill unless its ridiculously out of my league & not at my suggestion.

Dumbledore was perfectly nice, but had small hands & a leather trenchcoat. It is not to be. Yet another disappointment. At least I don't have to have the STD chat. :-)

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:40

Oh Snape....noooooooo!!

ike1 · 09/01/2013 18:43

You just didnt have the 'spark' then lovely???? I soo know what happened, really....was he a 'proper' geek?