The all new, sparkly,2013 Dating Thread - 35!

[watchoutforthatsnail]

off you go.

No Annilingus Arse ....even more exotic!

Nevermind the mushy bloody peas ....

Ohhhh, not cunnilingus .....

( story of my life )

Soz love, they are out of that at mo...

That reminds me, I must text Mr Clever.

I would expect a side portion of annilingus if I was paying for a double portion

FFS ! Before the watershed !

....or did you type 'asparagus' and predictive text kind of arsed it up ?

For your delicate eyes Flo we will go with your suggestion (Ike assumes Juliettes 'innocent' facial expression)

Ewwww Lubes no.....that was purely for 'humour's' sake....NOT reality...people dont really do that sort of thing.....do they????

So, I just text him - why is it soon as a first contact kind of text is sent (rather than part of a conversation) suddnely makes me think ARGH? as in argh will he reply does he even want to see me again argh argh argh.

Not on first dates ike

Oh I know Lubes ...orrible..its why we have this thread ...to chat shit until the reply text/message shows up...

Large cod and chips £10.40 takeaway here. That's at the good one though.

Statistics to pounce/putting out ratio over dates - say 33 first dates

Second dates 1:11 including Mr Vague/split bill

Snogs on second dates 2:33.

Put out 2:33 (relationships 1:33, dalliances 1:33)

Random unexpected first date kiss pouncers 4:33.
(1:33 nasty, 1:33 traditionally dodged several times, 1:33 told on date 1 so decides to put his hands inside my coat on date 2 instead, 1:33 on cheek)

I am bored

Hmmmm I would want to know their dietry habits first I am a VEGETARIAN you know...standards n' all that..

dietary

I don't know, Lubey, text etiquette stresses me out. Although the stress will be worth it when he's disporting his full 6'4" of sauciness in your shower again.

ok chatting shit til he replies... currently cooking a curry using creme fraiche instead of cream (new year diet!) it will be ok won't it?

'Ang on now Jules you will have to explain these stats my mind is still on arse licking...

There's something about Mr Vague's behaviour that seems rather unattractive, Juliette.

oh god Ms Arse. I do love that memory I have to say gorgeous arms gorgeous chest general gorgeousness siiiigh

Well is it low fat lubes if so leave to the last minute or it kind of separates..

Lubey, should be - I've used it in curries

Huh ....you are making me think I should give the 29 year old a whirl now he was 6'2" ...but no I dont like sex ...

voice how very sad about your friends husband.

bant yes, she paid for the meal & drove you across town & she didn't get any action? I always split a bill unless its ridiculously out of my league & not at my suggestion.

Dumbledore was perfectly nice, but had small hands & a leather trenchcoat. It is not to be. Yet another disappointment. At least I don't have to have the STD chat. :-)

Oh Snape....noooooooo!!

You just didnt have the 'spark' then lovely???? I soo know what happened, really....was he a 'proper' geek?