The all new, sparkly,2013 Dating Thread - 35!

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off you go.

Arf at the one in the hardware shop with the erection

The one on the first page naked but for trainers and socks - why ? Is he shy about his feet being on display ?

Err.....Jules, afraid I didn't get past P1. Ike's 'Analingus' comment from yesterday jumped into my mind and I just couldn't go near the 'Next' button..........

Stop it you lot, I refuse to look! argh

I know this thread is nearly full but can i join . Been on match for a week and just learning the ropes . Any wisdom for me? Spoke to one bloke with no picture who admitted had gf and just wanted fun. Is that the case no picture means just after fun. Second bloke seemed nice till spoke to him. ( on phone that is just for dating a mate suggested this) and he spent whole conversation talking about ex never asked me a question, kept saying he's ready to move on but is clearly hung up on ex. Should i except more of same or would pof be a better option. Feel a bit like giving up before I've started. Oh and on hairy men my ex had really long armpit hairs that he used to get knots in. Shudder

Hello! Just catching up before you all jump on to a new thread. Loved the history lesson on merkins!!!

Hi yoga job going well??

This thread is definitely an education ..!

Hi rasp and welcome.

There is a lot of dross out there but don't give up- did you see my stats on my recent 48 hour foray into pof? 136 messages, 100ish total duds, 30 ish ok, 6 great, 2 got my number, met one, and it's looking likely so far that I'll stick with just the one... I believe TallToy was worth all the sifting though

The longer you are a member and the more you chat to people the more you will get to know the same old red flags, cues of things that put you off, etc etc, when to just ditch/block/delete and all that. It takes time to get good at spotting what you like and not falling for personality smokescreens and good camera angles.

You're right to be wary about ones with no pics.

Raspbery welcome, yes you are already getting the idea. Just remember you are not obliged to listen to any whining, propositions, muck unless you want to. POF is probably worse than Match, just for now be very clear about what you want, what is ok for you and stick to it.

Yoga good day at the office?

FP well you have brightened up my evening by reminding me that there are indeed men out there who know where the clippers are.

Hi Juliette, Kirsty - yes, job going well thanks. Tired but good. The only stressful thing is having to contstantly think ahead about childcare and realising just how many bloody days the kids have off school!

Kirsty - haven't been keeping up with the thread too well, what's going on with you dating-wise?

Thanks lubey and Jullette might home skills on match then venture into pof. Lubey glad you have success on pof that was a lot of messages. said to friends may not get a bloke but will have tones of stories to tell .

Raspberry Yep if nowt else, loads of tall tales

Waves to yoga Glad to hear job going well. Teacher training days are a bloody nightmare.

Welcome, Raspberry! I'd say treat the first few conversations as practice, and don't take them too seriously. You'll soon work out which messages to ignore, and don't be afraid to ignore, either - at least half the people messaging you won't even check.

Hi Yoga, glad it's going well.

I followed your advice, Flo, and googled like you said. I still don't know whether to laugh or cry, but I couldn't help but notice just how proud of their parts all those men look...

I went for beers with some mates. It was nice. No nasty text or mail from Miss Feisty so I presume she didn't show after all.

Raspberry - the thread is never full, it just keeps going and going... Some of us on Match are nice, but there are always the chancers and dicks that you have to wade your way through.

Nomore - yes, 'fun' means no strings sex. Fine if you're into it. I'd be tempted to reply and ask if he wants to take you to Disney or go for a hot air balloon ride, as that's your idea of fun. See how far you get.

Yoga - being employed again is great (isn't it? :) ) but the childcare thing does rear it's head. My Ex is now very annoyed I can't pick up my DC until 5:45. I don't know what plans she had that this impinges upon, but think that's not unreasonable. Meh.

Official divorce papers through tomorrow (the christmas day ones were just a warning) so I may be slightly narked tomorrow. Just so ya know.

Sexting with Mr Natural...cant stop laughing...told him I am chokin on my Horlicks...

Can't believe how chatty (and also, bloody filthy!) you are, took me about 20 minutes to scroll back far enough to find where I'd gotten to last time!

Not going entirely well, so far. Already had a "forgotten about me already?" message because I did t reply immediately. He can cock off.

Sorry about your mum 48, really not much I can say, but she sounds so lucky to have such a supportive family around her. So cruel for you, though.

So envious of the Ashton Kutcher lookalike. I wonder if there's a search filter for that?!

They are a bunch of duuurty preverts on this thread....glad I have my iron clad knick knacks on HEATHENS!

He wants me to buck and grind on the end of his cock...REALLLLY? With my arthritic hips I should bloody coco...

48, I'm sorry, I didn't see the other post about your mum (too busy looking at hairy men) are they mobilising her at all, sitting her out in a chair or is she completely bedbound ? I know you said the other day that they weren't optimistic about her prognosis, does that mean they're not attempting any kind of rehab work at all ?
Good nursing staff will be happy with, and receptive to, someone acting as an advocate for their patient.

Ike, I thought you weren't having anything to do with base urges anymore so what are you doing sexting Mr N ? He'll have your iron knick-knacks off before you know it.

I seem to have 3 dates lined up, I wish I could shake the 'meh' but will be asking for advice later so brace yourselves.

I've never understood that expression, 'on the end of his cock'. I always imagine you'd fall off.

Deep breath, Bant. The end of anything is always sad, but as one door closes and all that...

Happy Friday, all!

Polar :o at the search filter for Ashton Kutcher-alikes

fayster :o agreed!

Morning all

Arse Since the meeting with staff Monday, they have been sitting her in the chair part of the day I think they have realised that with the right approach, mum is much more with it than they thought. She really laughed last night when a very fit porter had a joke with her. Thats my mum

Yep polar Filthy bunch.

Keep your pecker up Bant

48 good news about your mum, hope all continues to go well.

Well, I have been reading the thread and not posting very much, except to say how well things have been going with Mr Ex-Army and now I think I have completely fucked it up last night!

I had my second counselling session yesterday and obviously it bought up a lot of stuff to do with my ex and how I view relationships, I'm not sure after 9 years with him and his abusive and controlling behaviour I actually know what a normal relationship is anymore. It must have affected me more than I thought as after a lovely evening cooking a meal together and drinking too much wine (me), I just lost it, loads of tears, questioning him, his relationship with his ex, everything ........ I just cried for hours and then couldn't speak to him. I don't think he knew how to react and just gave up and tried to sleep, which made me worse. At one stage when he said try and get some sleep I said oh great, so long as you're okay, you got fed and got fucked. At which point he got out of bed and said I'm going home and I'll collect my stuff from here another time. He didn't go and we sort of made up, and he says it's all okay this morning ..... but Jesus, I'd be running for the hills if I were him. To top it all, with his working and seeing his DD, I now won't see him till Monday night ... so a weekend of brooding and wondering if Monday night, will be "thank you and goodbye".

I know and infact he said, I have met someone new too soon, but the fact is, I have and I don't want to lose him, but I think he is getting tired of having to constantly reassure me.

Lulu am in town at the mo but will reply to you soon as I can. Don't panic.