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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tempted to go back to ex dp... tell me what you think of these red flags!

105 replies

ilovetodancethenightaway · 04/01/2013 20:29

Nc as think a few may know me here in rl.

Met ex dp in Sept, ended it (via text!) in Nov. All in all we were together for a couple of months. We spent quite a bit of time together in these couple of months, including a holiday. There were mini red flags right from the start, although I brushed these under the carpet (I think so he could live up to the perfect man fantasy bubble I had him in!).

I am getting more and more tempted to get in contact with him again. I know he would take me back in a shot, and I am questioning whether I was over reacting to the red flags that put me off him in the first place. Here they are... please either talk me out of getting back in contact, or tell me I was being an idiot for dumping him.

During our first 'proper' kiss (in the car) he got his dick out and started wanking.

During sex on a couple of occasions he 'patted' my fanjo like in porn films!!. boak!!

One night during drunken sex out of the blue put porn on the TV

Once when I was sorting out some washing he told me to hurry up and said 'I want some you time'.... cringe!!

Before my Birthday made lots of noises about taking me to Edinburgh for the night, we ended up staying at his. He cooked but with not a lot of effort. He said after I had said I didn't want to go away for the night, but I swear I had not!

Was always asking for a neck rub (which he called a 'tickley neck') but never gave one in return.

Was tight with money...took me out for lunch then let me pay when I offered first (I was just trying to be polite!)

Was a St Johns volunteer so had a Paramedics look a like uniform...kept offering to put it on for me (jokingly, but still annoying). Made me cringe as my ex dp was a Fireman so no shortage of uniforms in my past, haha!!

Could only stay hard during sex if I told him stories of me being fucked by other men. Never came inside me, always finished himself off. Often told me to play with myself during sex whilst he wanked himself.

Was once embarrasingly rude to a cashier for not offering a plastic bag to pack shopping in to straight away. I could have died!

He is 39 and has never lived with anyone, never been married and no dc's.

Good things:

Good looking, good job, funny, could be very caring and considerate, good company, we had a 'connection'... which I think is why I am finding it hard to let go. Same hopes and dreams, lots in common. We got on like the best of friends. He is only the second man in my life I have had the 'connection' with sad

Help!!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 05/01/2013 01:09

I was at the zoo this week.

They do, too. Bloody monkeys. Xmas Grin

Dryjuice25 · 05/01/2013 01:18

Please run! Of course unless if you want to destroy yourself.What a wanker! Why does he even deserve any headspace from you. My God. Totally disfunctional.

Sunnywithshowers · 05/01/2013 01:18

Not just gibbons. They're all at it.

Funniest zoo visit of my life - 'Auntie Sunny, why are you laughing? What are the monkeys doing?'

AnyFucker · 05/01/2013 01:22

I was watching some monkeys once. It wasn't a sexual thing, honest.

There was a mum and baby one. And very casually the mum one started sucking her own boob and my son said, very loudly "mum, why is that monkey doing that, it isn't fair ?" The crowd of bemused onlookers collapsed into giggles.

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange · 05/01/2013 01:52

A friend told me years ago that when they made those PG Tips ads with all the pygmy chimps in them that they had to do masses and masses of takes because the chimps kept breaking off their tea party to masturbate.

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