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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Well purse my fanjo, giraffes in wheelchairs and submariners going dowwwnnnn - the dating thread hits 30!

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 24/11/2012 14:24

Off we go...

OP posts:
Yogagirl17 · 03/12/2012 20:22

Well done Bomber! Smile

So I'm still looking at this Chocolate, Coffee & Conversation group - they make a point of being alcohol free. I can't decide if it's just "if you don't fancy pub crawls and night clubs, here's another option" or if they take their not drinking quite seriously Hmm

JulietteMontague · 03/12/2012 20:42

Does anyone else sometimes 'hide' so called matches because they are so awful its a bit of a downer that this is your demographic?

OP posts:
48howdidthathappen · 03/12/2012 21:10

I have ended it with Mr Fuck. Got the impression he has some insecurity issues. Think the jealous type. Crazy as I am very much an open book.

Was very hard as he is a nice guy to be around and the Coffee was some of the best I have ever sampled Sad

KirstyWirsty · 03/12/2012 21:16

Well I think I've just been played

I sent TheAuditor a text asking if I needed to bring a hair drier tomorrow night and he sent me this ...

Really really sorry Kirstywirsty but I will have to cancel tues and Thursday. I need to go up to Perth to discuss things with my previous partner as she's planning to move to Glasgow. I really shouldn't have jumped into another relationship so quickly as there were still things to sort out. So sorry x

I feel like a total diddy Hmm

48howdidthathappen · 03/12/2012 21:19

KW what a prize twat!

Looks like we are both out of Coffee Sad

ike1 · 03/12/2012 21:20

Oh FFS!

domesticgodless · 03/12/2012 21:21

Yoga girl my ex is a wonderful dad and it was me who left so he's no bastard... however i hate to scare you but it's 4 years now since I left and tho I have very generous maintenance he still hasn't signed contracts. There seems to be some weird mental block going on. He won't discuss it with me and I don't want to waste money i will need for a house deposit on legal fees so am holding off the big guns for now and saving money.

My solicitor tells me not to save money but to spend it, as then I look like I 'really need' the maintenance: sigh. It's a ludicrous system.

Gorgeous, gorgeous black guy messages me then no response to my keen reply. Gah. Am getting no messages from men under 29 (I'm 39) but a few from extremely young gay women (i am bi) which I'm a bit weirded out by as I teach that age range!! Guess I need to up the age limit.

Snape my dear get that cone bra on and pose!! The old 80s style dominatrix thing worked for madonna didn't it? If you like younger Latin types (which I do....) :)

ike1 · 03/12/2012 21:21

...and thank goodness you didnt take any risks with your health!

domesticgodless · 03/12/2012 21:23

Oh no 48 an Kirsty what shit endings to the fun...

Bah Kirsty the auditor sounds like a prize twat and one who was quite probably still attached all the time. Grr. I've been there...:(

domesticgodless · 03/12/2012 21:25

Agreed Ike. All that pestering Kirsty not to use condoms sounded dodgy as hell.

Yogagirl17 · 03/12/2012 21:32

Juliette re the hiding thing - yes, all the time. Well, not anymore as I've deleted POF and disabled OKC, but yes I used to hide men on OKC.

domestic think maybe that was for Western about the not signing contracts?

Kirsty Bugger. I'm so sorry, what a wanker! You know what we're going to say though - you have nothing to feel stupid about, if he was going to play you, he was going to play you. Sad

And apologies in advance to the men on the thread, but I have to share this: DatingSucks

JulietteMontague · 03/12/2012 21:33

Kirsty what a twat and after he got all precious about not liking condoms and him being fine because of his health checks Sad

48 shame about Mr fuck but at least you know you can trust your judgement.

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 03/12/2012 21:33

Kirsty - what a prize shit. The worst sort of OD creep. So sorry this happened especially as he seemed decent.

48 - if you were getting bad vibes maaan then it was the best/right thing to do and probably has saved you a heck of a lot of hassle down the line if you were getting jealousy already.

bantamrooster · 03/12/2012 21:39

ah kirsty, I'm sorry. You can't be sure you've been played, these things do happen to people even with the best of intentions, but you're better off not getting too involved with someone who obviously has major ex-issues or is lying about it.

Speaking of which, there isn't a list of red flags for men to look out for - there are obviously huge lists of signs to look for in men, but I'm a little concerned about the Artist. She's attractive, funny, and sweet, but quite full on, wants to know if we're boyfriend/girlfriend after 3 dates. I said lets see how we go, we only met 8 days ago.

But.. we went to bed last night and she didn't have any condoms. I'd bought several, in case she didn't, and used them, and asked if she was on the pill too - she said it was the wrong time of the month for her to get pregnant so I didn't need to use them at all.

Now to me, that raised a fairly big flag. Obviously STI aside, I really don't want to have completely unprotected sex with a 41 year old who says she wishes she had kids after only a week of knowing her. AIBU?

Coffee was amazing (although ironically she made me coffee this morning which was horrible), and as I said she's really nice but I'm a bit worried here

ike1 · 03/12/2012 21:42

bant...bloody hell!!! Thank goodness you wet equipped- you may well have sperm stealer on your hands....

ike1 · 03/12/2012 21:43

went

ArcticBlast · 03/12/2012 21:44

Hello to all on this lovely thread. Am a long time lurker Mumsnet, but new to this particular thread.
Hope you don't mind if I join. I have been seperated for 18 months and took the plunge into online dating about 3 months ago... was seeing someone for a couple of months but mutually decided at the weekend its not meant to be.
Its rather a strange and twisted tale in a way.... but reading here, I can see I'm not alone. Xmas Grin

Walkacrossthesand · 03/12/2012 21:45

Indeed, Juliette (1220 - catching up, sorry) - even a 'no spark' date can be a pleasant way to spend an hour - chatting to someone you havent met before, often in a cafe that you don't usually frequent, because the guy will never live just down the road from you, will he...
No dates pending for me - exchanged some messages with one chap, talked about meeting up - he seemed nice enough but didn't have any personal info on his profile, and I've not heard from him since I asked him to fill in the gaps! And another who said his subscription was about to lapse, we exchanged email addresses and I've not heard anything. Not exactly Piccadilly Circus - but better than I ever had on Match.com!

ike1 · 03/12/2012 21:45

I am sooooo surprised at the amount of peeps both male and female who are of an age to know better that take these risks. Its not surprising that the middle to late yoof have the fastest rising case percentage of STIs

48howdidthathappen · 03/12/2012 21:47

bant I think you have to listen to your inner voice. More so when you want it to shut the hell up.

I hope I have made the right choice with Mr Fuck. I feel bad about it.

ike1 · 03/12/2012 21:48

Maybe 'sperm stealer' is harsh - but it certainly appears that she is keen to get the relationship on a level of intimacy that could cement the possibility of kids quickly...

ike1 · 03/12/2012 21:50

48 ....mmm it just depends on what you want really... he might just have wanted to move the relationship on to a different level... do you just eant NSA??

ike1 · 03/12/2012 21:50

want

ike1 · 03/12/2012 21:52

Arctic ...strange and twisted is often the nature of OD...

Walkacrossthesand · 03/12/2012 21:54

PS Kirsty, you ok? Sorry the Auditor wasn't what he seemed to be - but you kept your wits about you didn't you, so you don't seem like a diddy at all!