Well purse my fanjo, giraffes in wheelchairs and submariners going dowwwnnnn - the dating thread hits 30!

[JulietteMontague]

Off we go...

oww yes you've lost the bet. Forfeit! Forfeit!

I'm glad he phoned. :)

No way Snape he phoned me and I've still not texted!!

Well, I have, actually and in latin so you can tell I'm pissed. And he didn't get it . Will have to chuck him.

Leave the bastard!!!

Ha ha, I thank you all for continuing to entertain me. I have to confess I am playing with some of the poor boys on POF tonight as well...really must get a proper hobby.

So fish man said the reason you get so many pics of men with fish is because it's one of the few times they like getting their photos taken.

Snape Are you going out with Milk & Bantam tonight?

No, I'm feeling a bit fragile, really missing voldemort today, it's cold out and I want to spend some time with Ds1 while he's in a non suicidal better mood. But I'm def signed up for next outing. :)

Hello :)

Have been making birthday cake for DS. And having stupid stresses about broken down car (battery I think) and getting DS to a different birthday party but luckily Mr Nice was able to be knight and shining armour and take us to it. And then take DD and me to XHs house so I could steal borrow his car as I luckily have a spare key for it. XH currently up more north seeing his GF but he will be back later on as party tomorrow is at his house. Car still dead but as I am going away working again straight after party this is not major issue.

I have to pack for going away. Gah. And be in XHs house tomorrow for ages with 8 and 9 year old boys and XH. DD and I are going to hide in her room and play with dolls and ponies and things .

It's one of the few times they like having their photos taken?
That's a dull answer when you consider the world of alternatives.

I preferred the phallic theory or the pun on fish.

Hi all

May I join in?

I've just joined eHarmony this week.

I met my last chap on Guardian Soulmates....it lasted for three years but he was a horrendous commitmentphobe (that saga documented at length elsewhere) and I finally (with mucho support from Mumsnet) put a full stop to it.

Hence new name.....onwards and upwards! (Original, I know......)

Am now shocked that an attractive (ACTUALLY attractive) man who can spell and in no way resembles a potato has emailed me.

This is not a stealth boast, promise - I am so jaded now, I'm almost suspicious and in 'it feels too good to be true' / 'did he mean to email someone else' territory.

Self-esteem not what is was after the commitment-phobe, y'see....

Anyway - would love to share your 'journeys' as it were, and hope I can join in! :)

Dic nobis, OWW, verba Latina quae non intellexit ut tibi indicamus utrum haec eius ignorantia excusabilis sit, necne.

Antonym you're the man for me! It was really basic first year stuff which is around my limit. Maybe I'll let him off, depends on how things go tonight...

Hi all!

This was probably discussed to death already, but i haven't read these threads before
I have a simple question about internet dating (I'm on more of
a 'relationships' site than casual) - what to do if you don't want to jump into bed quickly, but want to get to know him properly first?

It seems that people are thrust in the dating situations, and either it peters out very quickly due to the woman stalling regarding sex or at least kissing (and I mean just after a couple of dates), or people just genuinely don't know how to go on dating without sex as we don't always have same interests. How many drink or dinner dates can you have - it's expensive and doesn't let you know the person iykwim, only possibly whether you fancy them, or whether you can enjoy a chat, but not KNOW his qualities.

Men seem to be spoilt by others who slept with then quickly, and they get upset and decide you dont fancy them if you dont have sex after a few dates. Is the whole thing not for me at all, if I want to have at least 10 dates doing normal 'activities' like you would with a friend. And how to explain this to a man without him concluding you don't fancy him?

sorry for rambling!

Thanks Dog but I'm swapping horses mid-race and hoping Antonym will run away with me

Onwards - have faith, in yourself and in other people (within reason for the latter). There are decent men out there, so there's no reason on earth why one of them won't take a liking to you.

Allchange - to be honest, ten dates is going to be two or three months, if one or both of you have family or work commitments. Most people would want a bit of light petting at least to make sure the chemistry's there otherwise it's a lot of time/money/missed opportunities. No harm at all in taking things slowly overall, though ie not rushing into bed.

allchange there are lots of men who use dating sites purely for sex. Those men will hope to get sex on a first, second or third date, they won't be much interested in waiting beyond that and will probably disappear if sex doesn't happen.

Having said that, those same men would also disappear as soon as sex happened anyway. TBH they really are no loss.

The sort of man who is looking for a relationship won't mind if he has to wait 3 dates or 30 dates for sex, provided of course there is a mutual attraction there, and there's a bit more than a peck on the cheek or a chaste hug so you both know there is chemistry.

Thanks OWW :)

Will try to focus on that!

I just had to de-lurk to say how deeply, deeply disappointed I was to see that the phrase 'My Lovely Horse' did not make it into the title of this thread.

Ho hum.

Allchange, IMHO ten dates is a long time, especially if you're ruling out kissing. If you want to wait that long I think you possibly need to fill your dates in on this and explain your reasons (not justifying yourself, but setting out your rationale). Personally I would be very wary about dating someone for that long without much going on physically, but that's just me. It puts too much pressure on the grand reveal shag and I'd also suspect that they were more interested in a relationship in general than one with me, and were trying to force themselves to develop feelings for me.

The problem/point of OD is you just can't really expect to replicate those organic relationships that grow out of friendship in real life.

All change

How many drink or dinner dates can you have - it's expensive and doesn't let you know the person iykwim, only possibly whether you fancy them, or whether you can enjoy a chat, but not KNOW his qualities.

• I so know what you mean by this.

Last time I tried internet dating, I saw a man for three dates, but stretched out over a looong time. (We lived an hour apart, and both had logistical issues.)

The problem was that by the third date I still thought he was pleasant / nice / interesting, but I hadn't reached the 'I fancy you' stage yet.

So I wasn't going to make the move on him or allow that sort of situation to happen. So what then?

More dates of strolling round the park / lunch / dinner / pub? After three dates, it kind of felt like we'd done all that. I suppose the next stop is dinner at either his or mine, but because I didn't want anything physical yet, I stalled on that.

I just didn't know where to take it from there, and thought if neither of us is going to / wants to lunge, then it isn't going to happen.

In the end I told him I thought I was too old for him (five year gap - nothing really, I know).

It wasn't that I disliked him, at all. It just felt like I didn't know where to take it from there without that feeling of fancying him loads to propel things forward. Shame in way. He was a nice enough bloke. So hard without that chemistry though, and I worried I was fircing myself to fancy him. But with time.....who knows what would've happened....

Totally agree with every single word hatesponge

Dog I'm pretty sure you can report that. I'm giving up on POF. And OKC. It's all total rubbish. I am just going to have to trust fate or the universe or woo or something.

Western - I'm glad he phoned.

Snape - a night in is good too. I'm sorry you're missing him. Just remember, what you have done is make space in your life for something or someone better. Would have been cool to meet Milk & Bantam though. x

Hey. Will go back up and read all the news and happenings. As is the dating thread motto 'stuff happens and fast'.

FYI
I am having a very good time . Don't want to jinx it, as very early days. (WarmFuzzy taps side of nose and nods sagely, whilst looking left and right)

I've caught me a live one!

That's great Fuzzy

bantam is there slight hostility towards Venezuelan?