Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Well purse my fanjo, giraffes in wheelchairs and submariners going dowwwnnnn - the dating thread hits 30!

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 24/11/2012 14:24

Off we go...

OP posts:
VoiceofUnreason · 03/12/2012 11:33

Yoga - meetup is very sporadic. I think it's come over from the US but only seems to be in a few of the largest cities. Nearest anything meetup near me is about 60 miles away. Nothing to stop you setting up something yourself, of course. I couldn't be botherd - I organise enough in life as it is and would just like to be able to turn up to something for once!

OWW - I do think LM is a decent bloke who was going through a really difficult time. Sort of time when it's easier to cope if you are a wife or partner who lives with their chap and so can really SEE what's going on. Always harder when you're dating/earlier days.

Sigh. I don't like coffee. It gives me migraine. On the other hand, I LOVE Coffee. Just been so long, forgotten what it tastes like Sad

KirstyWirsty · 03/12/2012 11:33

Ahh .. Cross posted Bant .. Excellent news! .. when are you doing it again??

lulubellaboozle · 03/12/2012 11:37

Bant lots and lots of Coffee, are you boasting?!?

ike1 · 03/12/2012 11:43

oh haha bant-that image has just made me 'squirt' my ACTUAL coffee everwhere...

domesticgodless · 03/12/2012 11:54

On for lots of Coffee... Unfortunately ATM I'm restricted to the contents of my cafetiere :/

Tell me it gets better (alright I have no patience. I've only been dating 2 weeks and from what I read on here some have waited 18 months for a date that went anywhere either emotionally or physically or both)

VoiceofUnreason · 03/12/2012 11:57

domestic - it's all a raffle, really. It can often be a post code lottery as to where you live as to how well you do. Sometimes having lots of parameters of what you will and wont' 'accept' in height, hair colour, education make a difference, other times not. I did OD for 18 months and aside from a couple of chats only met two women. Whereas others on here get dates left, right and centre. You just have to have stamina, patience and possibly a very thick skin.

Pixiebelle123 · 03/12/2012 12:01

Western - he's had a rough time and you have been very patient and understanding but you do need to think about your own needs and feelings. I think you're right to give him a chance and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect to see him again before Christmas - tell him what you want.

Yoga - I have looked at meet up before, trouble is all the fun groups are for women over 40 in my area - blatant discrimination against 30 somethings!!

Bant - sounds like you had good Coffee!

Mr Tall is very keen to see me again (he was my lunch date on Sat, not the Coffee date from Fri eve!), he has been texting me all weekend since we met Smile. He's not my usual type but I'm really quite excited about him. We've arranged to meet again this Sat evening, I don't know if I can wait until then!

OhWesternWind · 03/12/2012 12:13

Bant whoo hoo!!! So much Coffee about at the moment and here I am standing with my empty cup waiting for a refill . . .

Pixie - Mr Tall sounds good so far - what have you got planned for Saturday?

Thanks for the posts about LM. Going to see what he says tonight when we chat/text and if there's no mention of meeting up then I will say something about it. Hope he says it though.

JulietteMontague · 03/12/2012 12:44

Yay go Bant, hope all that Coffee has given you a spring in your step this morning.

Western enough already with LM angst, you have done your bit, let him know what you want and then he really needs to stop the talk and actually do something about it, now.

Yoga I've been looking at meet up here, decided to give it a go not as a dating thing but just to know new people. Bit daunting though.

I am talking to a couple of men on okc, we'll see. I still can't work out why I don't get messages, someone suggested one theory, would anyone be good enough to take a look please?

OP posts:
bantamrooster · 03/12/2012 12:54

Juliette - more of a slightly pained limp, to be honest. I think she broke me.

I'm happy to have a look, PM me your profile and I'll see.

domesticgodless · 03/12/2012 13:12

Juliette same for me ill be glad to have a look at your profile and you can do same for mine. X

VoiceofUnreason · 03/12/2012 13:13

Juliette and Goddess - feel free to PM me if you would like a chap's perspective (not at all offended if you don't)

VoiceofUnreason · 03/12/2012 13:14

in addition to Bant who is also a chap, of course, I missed his post

JulietteMontague · 03/12/2012 13:22

Bantam Thanks, I've PMd you.

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 03/12/2012 13:41

Goddess PMd you too

OP posts:
Snapespeare · 03/12/2012 13:57

popping in from my endless gyrating in my cone bra and sturdy undergarments, surrounded by men in tuxedos to at godless two weeks is about the right length of time to be throughly pissed off with it. Grin Quite amused that we area 96% match on OKC, so all the blokes that are a high match for me will probably be a high match for you. if theres only two decent ones amid all the spuds, that's one each. so all is well. I like your profile on OKC, but thats proabbly because of that 96% match. Wink (will reply tonight, no OKC at work)

bant yay!

oww i think you've got a good attitude. hope it works out. :)

Yogagirl17 · 03/12/2012 15:08

juliette there seem to be quite a few things in my area but I don't know if i'd be brave enough to go alone - might have to see if I can enlist some company. It's kind of just a thought for now (also don't know whether I'd go for the "30-soemthings" or the "40+"...?) If you go to one let me know.

I am sooooooo bored! Please remind me of this 6 weeks from now when I'm working five days a week and don't know if i'm coming or going!

JulietteMontague · 03/12/2012 15:35

Yoga I just took a look at it again, think I may go for one of the walking meet ups. Pre Christmas I am never at my best*(gross understatement) so maybe I'll just hibernate until then.

*go ever so slightly insane, melt down etc. I apologise in advance Grin

I can feel Christmas creeping up on me, I burst into tears this morning when I got a parking ticket outside my house. It was my own fault but they are fuckers anyway and there was really no need for me to link weep over the worktop.

OP posts:
Yogagirl17 · 03/12/2012 16:53

Aw Juliette, I dont' know what it's going to feel like for me this year. I don't actually do Christmas, but it was last year between Christmas and New Year that my whole life just fell apart and I'll be on my own for a lot of it this year so I imagine it will be...strange to say the least. Anyway, feel free to burst in to tears anytime. Wink

I've noticed there are lots of different kinds of groups, walking groups, cinema & theatre, and one that might be appealing called "Chocolate, Coffee (?) and Conversation".

JulietteMontague · 03/12/2012 17:19

Grin at Coffee. I fancy doing a walking group since as I like being outdoors anyway. Just not up to the whole being charming to strangers thing at the moment.

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 03/12/2012 17:22

Yoga I've PMd you what was almost the second part of my last post. I would have committed MN heresy!

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 03/12/2012 19:18

What is it with Christmas? So much pressure to be all cosy and coupled up, lovely nuclear families decorating trees together and sharing festive warmth and kisses. Everyone's busy with their own stuff too so it's a lot lonelier as well. I know half of these happy families probably aren't, but it throws my situation into sharp relief.

One of the worst moments of my life was finDing ex had been texting OW that he loved her whilst we were sitting opening our presents with the children. Well, there was a lot worse, actually, but that one's really stayed with me.

He still hasn't signed the contracts.

Yogagirl17 · 03/12/2012 19:28

Western that's awful about your ex & xmas. My moment was New Year's Eve last year, two weeks after I found out, he'd promised it was over and he wanted to try again, we were away in a tiny fucking chalet with the children for 3 days...and I caught him still contacting her. I swear I still don't know how I got through those 3 days. I spent all 3 nights in this shitty tiny living room crying my eyes out. But it was also my "lightbulb moment". I remember thinking, "how the fuck am I supposed to do this?". And then this voice just said, "You don't have to do it, it can be over, you can walk away." The relief I felt in that moment was unbelievable. It's horrid, it's going to be a horrid time of year for so many of us, but I so believe we are all better where we are now than where we were before. xxx

I can't believe he still hasn't signed the contracts - can't the lawyers do something? Hugs(())

PerUnaBomber · 03/12/2012 19:58

These threads are invaluable. My date... definitely, without having read so many of your tales and experiences, I wouldn't know what to think. So first of all - why lie about height? It's going to be fairly obvious that 5'9" is NOT 5'11" when I am just over 5'7" and wore 2.5" heels. The whole thing about "the worst photo" is very pertinent. Also (and I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt here, which I will explain after this little factoid): telling your date you really, really want children after 60 minutes may be a wee bit full on. Here comes my BoD: i imagine that if one has been on many dates, one might want to get that fact out quickly to avoid wasting time/money/effort on dead ends. Or else he had already decided (as had I, within minutes of meeting) that we really weren't a match and was just telling me about himself without agenda. Which is fine and perfectly plausible/likely.

So I emerge unscarred emotionally from my first 'first date'. It wasn't dreadful, he was just a little bit too 'I hate it' about certain things that could have been handled more diplomatically and there was no physical attraction. But a perfectly pleasant way to spend a couple of hours talking about books and films and football; height and children-confession notwithstanding.

Seriously, without these threads, I would be feeling a lot more guilty about the 'no spark, but thanks and good luck' message. It's like a manual of dating on here.

JulietteMontague · 03/12/2012 20:09

Yoga that is dreadful. Western what a horrible thing to do to all of you. As you say though, you are out of that now and actually better off.

Bomber you did it, even when it's not right it can still be a pleasant way to spend an hour or two. Next!

OP posts: