He's obsessed with sex...

[Littleblue]

We have been dating six months , and they have largely been the happiest ever for me , except for his obsession with sex.... he takes it as rejection if I turn him down , and mostly manages to get over it.... but I turned him down last night , I was tired and stressed and not in the mood , (and his expectation is a huge turn off anyway)We were snuggled up , and he kept groping me which I was fending off but gently , to me it should be clear by then?! so he turns my face to his and insists on proper tongue snogging , which I had been evading... I HATE snogging if i'm not in the mood for sex.. I'm not frigid , when were both in the right mood the sex is incredible....he seems to think that because thats the case , we should ALWAYS be at it... so pissed off ,he turned his back on me last night, he's clearly sulking today...

[Littleblue]

I see that now offred , this is why i brought this here

[jm8997]

My wife tried to initiate sex with me on Sunday night but I was tired and not feeling well. Do I have the right to refuse or am I a complete f*ing bastard?
I consider myself damned if I do and damned if I don't anyway, so to be honest, I don't think anyone can help me.

[Cluffyfunt]

Sorry to harp on but I will anyway

You said earlier in the thread that you (due to you're experiences) know all about dv behaviours.

Just because this man is not a carbon copy of your ex doesn't make him a 'non abuser'.

I know than when you've been badly abused its easy to accept treatment that other (non abused) people wouldn't stand for.

I've certainly found that my tolerance for bad treatment in a relationship is an awful lot higher than friends who have grown up in happy homes and not suffered Dv.

[Littleblue]

Its perspective I guess... and for the gent that commented , this isnt a man bashing thread...its twattery bashing thread...so if your in the mood for that , carry on , lol

I knew the forced bits , gentle as they are..were coercive and unhealthy , and grabbing my breasts etc when I was obv not in the mood is also out of order...hes been sulking today because I came to bed wearing the pj equivalent of a flannel nightie...and stayed his wandering hands... I have rape in my history , I have no tolerance for forced attentions , but like I said in an earlier post...was wondering if it was my baggage that was making his persistent lustiness so fucking irritating !!

[BigBroomstickBIWI]

jm8997 - what a strange first post on Mumsnet.

How on earth is your post of any use to the OP?

Why not start your own thread?

[jm8997]

Sorry I have not been helpful to the original poster.
Isn't this website forum a place to share ideas, opinions and experiences?
I felt your comment BigBroomstickBIWI was unkind, but I guess I must defer to your greater experience on this forum.
Where do you suggest I start my new thread?
If this is not a place for me, I'll consider killing myself. No, that is not simply talk, I'm ready to do it now, as I cannot see a way out of my life without being labelled the perpetrator.

[BigBroomstickBIWI]

You are on someone else's thread - therefore, you are are here to comment on the situation that the OP is in. Not talk about your own situation.

And you know very well where you can start a thread because you have already done so

[Littleblue]

No offence generally... thats my very wrong soh creeping in ;)

[Littleblue]

Ok , I got moderated... can the gentleman in question kindly wander off and find another thread :)

[OliviaLMumsnet]

Hi Jm8997
We're sorry that you're feeling so low = we do have a Mental health topic here and our web guide contains links of organisations that can help

[OliviaLMumsnet]

hi Littleblue - we have pointed this poster in the right direction- hope you can continue to get some support on MN

[jm8997]

BigBroomstickBIWI As discussed, i will leave this thread now you have successfully hounded me from it.
I have started another thread to seek advice.
Through the several chauvinistic comments, perhaps they are intentionally humourous, i am getting some advice that may help me where I am right now.

[Littleblue]

Go away

[bitbewildered]

Op, before the minor hijacking, I was going to say how I hope you are soon free of your fucknugget, and wish you good things! Better late than never!

[Littleblue]

Thank you :-) xx

[bitbewildered]

No worries. Are you ok? I feel a bit queasy at the recent turn things have taken!

[Littleblue]

I've been better.... yanno ,I'm sure I used to be married to that guy ,lol.... I don't feel queasy at all...he's some poor cows hubby stalking her mn.. nothing more.

[bitbewildered]

Horrible. That is NOT ok.

I think you're being very, like, stoic, about it!

[Littleblue]

What the abuse...? no worries.. hide like a rhino ;)

[bitbewildered]

glad to hear it.

[Littleblue]

He's laughing up his sleeve at the drama.... total asshat ... all dv men threaten suicide , but you know what? its the ones who never say a word who actually do it.....

[bitbewildered]

I'm just astonished. I've never lived with DV, and apparently have a very low bollocks threshold.

[Littleblue]

Lol... its textbook stuff , "my wife is hurting me by being on here..meh I want to break things cos I'm a victim"... etc... he's a tit .. period

[Littleblue]

I hope mn get his isp address and get the police round to shut his drama down... tbh