He's obsessed with sex...

[Littleblue]

We have been dating six months , and they have largely been the happiest ever for me , except for his obsession with sex.... he takes it as rejection if I turn him down , and mostly manages to get over it.... but I turned him down last night , I was tired and stressed and not in the mood , (and his expectation is a huge turn off anyway)We were snuggled up , and he kept groping me which I was fending off but gently , to me it should be clear by then?! so he turns my face to his and insists on proper tongue snogging , which I had been evading... I HATE snogging if i'm not in the mood for sex.. I'm not frigid , when were both in the right mood the sex is incredible....he seems to think that because thats the case , we should ALWAYS be at it... so pissed off ,he turned his back on me last night, he's clearly sulking today...

[Littleblue]

So hung up , no idea how to let go of what I thought it was , I know its pathetic , im even fucking dreaming about it... never been as depressed in my bloody life.

[Anniegetyourgun]

Roll on the CBT, eh?

My theory is you have been so much in the habit of making do in a bad relationship, holding onto the positive 'n' all that, that you can't stop even when the relationship is over. There's always this nasty little nagging voice saying "if you tried harder you could have made it work" (is it your mother?) even though in your conscious brain you know damn' well that you should not be even trying to make it work. It takes time to break these habits, time and the right sort of therapy if you're lucky enough to get it; and you've only ditched the guy a fortnight ago. Meanwhile you've got various shit in your life and no mostly-pleasant partner to distract you. (Or to pester you and make it worse, but that's not the way you are used to looking at it.)

I hope you feel a whole lot better soon; you certainly deserve to.

[Littleblue]

Think thats exactly the kind of truth and accuracy I needed to hear... so ill right now , but I know you are right.... jesus

[Littleblue]

Bloody hell.... can I lay on a couch and be told what for by you ??!! :D

[Anniegetyourgun]

My rates are very reasonable! cup of tea and the train fare

[Littleblue]

Book me in

[Littleblue]

I hate myself more that I didn't take his " I have a cure for that" comments when I complained of insomnia/migraine... as the red flag it should have been... currently feeling more worthless than ever...really really struggling... bigtime

[Littleblue]

I'm being strongarmed into a headbreak.... bestie insisting on a visit....not before time :)

[susiedaisy]

Don't be too hard on yourself blue these things take a long to time to fully heal from

[blackcurrants]

Well done your Bestie! Hope it's a good time for you both! :)

[cannotseeaway]

Littleblue I second susiedaisy, don't expect miracles overnight, it takes a while to get over any relationship breakup, even those that make all the good sense in the world. I hope your bestie helps smooth the path to emotional freeeeeedom from this twunt!

[Littleblue]

Its the mindfuck I'm reeling from... he apologised last time he fell down the fricking rabbit hole that I was "in love with a mental" I keep going round and round in circles , I've never struggled so deeply with a breakup before , this was so fucking muddy !! but I know I'm fighting to rationalise an irrational mind..and its a total waste of time , hes probably soothing himself by browsing porn!

[Littleblue]

Oh , and no more sneaky emails from dads... if you want to ask me those sort of questions , grow a set and ask me in public !

[solidgoldbrass]

Are.you.getting.PMs.from.masturbators?
share.on.here.so.we.can.point.and.laugh
report.them.to.MNHQ,that's.not.nice...

[BigBroomstickBIWI]

Wow! You're really getting pervy PMs? Please tell me you have reported to MNHQ?!

[Littleblue]

Not fappers , no... a few dads who want to tell me I'm wrong by being upset by his behaviour , and asking if I would be upset if he turned me down for sex... all of which is beside the bloody point !! so sod off you lot... back to the top shelf :)

[Littleblue]

Lol @ sgb , I'd have pasted them were that the case

[BigBroomstickBIWI]

... or have the courage of your convictions to post your views openly

[Offred]

I really think you need to report them to MNHQ and I think they need to think about having some kind of facility for warning women/men who post about rape and sexual assault to report and block any pm's they receive from men or women trying to convince them what happened to them didn't happen. If that is their opinion there is no reason why they can't say it on the actual thread.

[Littleblue]

Valid point in fact... I am struggling enough with this issue without covert one for the boys private messaging... its sneaky and cheap behaviour... AND cowardly !

[Anniegetyourgun]

How likely is it that this PM'ing bloke IS your ex?

[Littleblue]

He wouldn't know about mumsnet , and even if he did , it would be scant chance he would clock the thread... ( says she trying not to be freaked out)

[Littleblue]

He did follow me onto another couple of platforms , my bestie called him a stalker... but Ive just looked up the username of the most likely pm writer , were that the case... and no , definitely not :)

[Anniegetyourgun]

Hmm, must be another frustrated sex pest then.

[Littleblue]

Seems to be alot of it about