He's obsessed with sex...

[Littleblue]

We have been dating six months , and they have largely been the happiest ever for me , except for his obsession with sex.... he takes it as rejection if I turn him down , and mostly manages to get over it.... but I turned him down last night , I was tired and stressed and not in the mood , (and his expectation is a huge turn off anyway)We were snuggled up , and he kept groping me which I was fending off but gently , to me it should be clear by then?! so he turns my face to his and insists on proper tongue snogging , which I had been evading... I HATE snogging if i'm not in the mood for sex.. I'm not frigid , when were both in the right mood the sex is incredible....he seems to think that because thats the case , we should ALWAYS be at it... so pissed off ,he turned his back on me last night, he's clearly sulking today...

[bitbewildered]

Well, he's vanished!

[Littleblue]

Back under his bridge , like a good little troll .....I wouldnt fret , there's many thousands like him online....

[bitbewildered]

[Littleblue]

He's announced hes going to phone me tonight as he's "not coping either" yet another cooked up drama from bloody nothing just because I didnt want to validate his penis so therefore the entire evening of non sexual intimacy meant nothing...

[schobe]

Are you still with him? Can you not just tell him to get to fuck?

[Littleblue]

I haven't seen or spoken to him since it blew again...I feel wretched , horribly hurt and severely depressed...couldnt even get up this morning.

[Littleblue]

Recently , I'd come to trust I was finally in the right relationship , the one that would go the distance ,I knew the sex thing would cause us problems again at some point , but we are good at talking , incredibly close...but not as close as I thought clearly , if he can hurt me like this deliberately... I cant even keep anything down , the kids are off school with a "virus" I've never felt so fucking pointless , everything I touch turns to shit.

[Littleblue]

Never felt so acutely alone in my life.

[schobe]

Ah ok, you sounded a little more detached earlier in the thread, but I can see you're struggling with this now.

I have to agree with earlier posters that the bad stuff sounds extremely ominous regardless of all the good stuff.

I think a clean break would be in your best interests, but I know how easy that is to say.

Keep posting on here then you'll never be really alone!

[blackcurrants]

You're not alone, littleblue - I'm sitting here in my PJs at 6.30am in a grey cold New Jersey morning, wishing you all the good things in the world.

You don't need to talk to him. You don't need to do all the dramatic finger pointing and bollocks. You just need to send him a "Yeah, this isn't working for me. I think we should call it a day. Thanks for the good times." text and start thinking about life after the breakup.

breakups are shit, but the grief doesn't last for ever. And everything you touch manifestly does NOT turn to shit, else you wouldn't be a responsible adult with a life, holding a family together, and managing not to hump the furniture like an unfixed puppy I prescribe you a phone call to a girlfriend, and some good sofa-time with your sick children. You'll be okay, he wasn't a good'un but that doesn't mean there aren't any, or you'll never meet one.

[Littleblue]

I was detached earlier because I was drinking and had taken diazepam , Ive opened a thread in mental health as I am really struggling :(

[Littleblue]

Thank you , even in tears im smiling at the unfixed puppy !

[schobe]

I do really understand. I do that detachment thing followed closely by complete breakdown. It's v crap. Agreed - I would far rather be you than the unfixed puppy.

[Littleblue]

I don't understand the madness that takes hold of him when he does this... he seems to think that his intense sexual behaviour is charming in a rogueish kinda way.... that I should be flattered he wants to bounce up and down on me all the bloody time , and when he feels rejected , suddenly everything we have shared OUT of bed is analysed and held as negative... its shit.

[solidgoldbrass]

Littleblue, lovey, forget about the arsepigeon. He's not a nice person. He wouldn't be a nice person even if he didn't have depression or nobody-worships-me-enough or whatever self-diagnosed Ishoo he's trying to dump on you. So let him sort his own shit out and just cut him right out of your life.
WHile there are plenty of nice men out there, it's not essential or compulsory to have one around, and you'll be a lot better off building a solo life for the time being while you get yourself strong and happy. You will start feeling better soon. For one thing, you no longer have this horrible man waving his cock at you and battering your self-respect on purpose.

[schobe]

A bunting of red flags.

Can you try to stop thinking about him and what he does/why he does it and focus on yourself? Can you get out and do something for a treat? A coffee and cake in a cafe?

[Littleblue]

I'm going to take my dogs down to the river , get some air and pick myself up off the floor , I'm even driving myself mad tbh ... I might get creative and knock up some red bunting....festoon the whole sodding house in it , lol... hey , thats a business idea , right there.... could embroider key words that relationship addicts like me need reminding of ! :)

[blackcurrants]

yes yes yes dog to the river! I've had tea and toast now and my own dog is bouncing, demanding a trip to the woods. She fell in the stream last week and had to scramble out then be hosed down when she got home. very undignified, she looked most put out.

Look after yourself, LB - breakups are shit but NOT a diagnosis of you, your life, your future or your abilities. Give no more thought to the unfixed puppy, he HAS harmed your self-respect and self-esteem, so give yourself time to heal.

[izzyizin]

You really have got to stop wearing those 'fuck me' boots, haven't you?

We all have shit days when we see the b&w negative rather than the glorious technicolour, and it's on those days that we need to be exceptionally kind to ourselves and hold on to the thought that if we don't have down times, we can't appreciate all of the good times - of which I have no doubt you've had many and will have many, many, more.

It's always a bummer when we think we've met a like-minded guy to court and spark with only to discover they're a twat of the first water. We tend to needlessly beat ourselves up for making an appalling error of judgement when the fact is they've misjudged us.

Sing hallelujah, honey - in treating you as a human mattress this twat's revealed his true colours sooner rather than later and that's always a bonus.

[fuckadoodlepoopoo]

Im a bit confused. That jm8997 fella came along said he was also having relationship problems, said he wants to kill himself and then got absolutely roasted alive! In fact in seems people were really fucking nasty to him!

Am i missing something. Genuinely confused! < see, a confused face.

[BigBroomstickBIWI]

He came along and plonked himself onto someone else's very sensitive thread, with a post that was all about him. When it was suggested he should post elsewhere, he was immediately on the defensive and started talking about committing suicide.

We have had a number of cases of partners/husbands of MNetters coming here and trying to continue their abuse of them. Given what this thread was about, it raised many suspicions for many of us.

And despite the advice he was given to post in mental health, that was ignored.

You can't always take posts on here at face value. Sometimes there is another, more sinister motive behind them.

[bitbewildered]

fuckadoodlepoopoo perhaps OP would rather this thread wasn't hijacked a second time, even by proxy.

[fuckadoodlepoopoo]

Lots of other people spoke about their similar experiences too, they weren't roasted. It might not be the best place to mention that if wants to kill himself but whatever happened to empathy and compassion? There was none whatsoever shown to him except for hq intervening.

There was no particular reason to think he was the ops ex either.

[Littleblue]

No its fine... having already been hijacked , its part of the conversation and I know several folk were genuinely concerned for his safety.... It tickled me his twitter apparently gave his full name and address , wonder if anyone passed it on to the police as he threatened suicide yet was merrily tweeting today....

[Littleblue]

He was trolling and abusive , thats why he got roasted.... behaviour and fakery like that doesnt beget kindness tbh