Oral sex and hygiene! am I OTT?

[MuckyRedSheet]

I'll only do oral sex after he's had a shower. As we've never been in a position where he's had a shower before sex (or we've had time to mess around after a shower) I've never given him oral.

He has however, done it to me.

Am I OTT in insisting on shower first?

Your mouth, your choice of what goes in it.:)

No cuz giving a man oral after a wee is bleurgh!

Also getting pubic hairs in your mouth is no fun and don't get me started on the yack of whatever may be lurking under things.

Depends on how long ago he had a wash. If he washes daily then YABABU because he will probably feel insulted that you think he is somehow dirty down there. If the roles were reversed and he wouldn't touch you until you had washed you might feel the same. If however he is part of the once a week brigade then YADNBU.

For the record when I was with my exdp I wouldn't go down on him after we had had sex and refused to swallow. A very individual choice I guess but with my new DP I am more than happy to go with the flow. Maybe cos my new DP washes himself after going to the toilet but I think mainly because I have realised that bodily fluids are not dirty or disgusting and because he loves it that I am not turned off by that which turns him on more iykwIm. Have you had a bad experience in the past which has put you off?

Well, I guess it depends on his general level of hygiene. If he bathes regularly and is clean and unsmelly, I wouldn't insist on the shower, but if he's a bit of a soap dodger I'd go nowhere near it without him being hosed down first.

Yes, I think you are being a bit OTT. What are you worried about? Maybe different if you know smells or seems unclean there because you tried it once - but then if so, why would you be having sex with him?

I won't until after a shower.

Does he know that? It seems a bit weird that you have never given him oral if it's something you want to do.

Your mouth, your choice!

I think it has to be your choice and what you feel OK with. But that said, I'm not sure how unhygeinic its actually likely to be as long as he bathes and changes his pants daily! Its never really occurred to me to insist on a shower first.

Hmm depends what he's been doing and how long it's been since a shower. For instance I don't think I would be keen after he has been at work all day, work willy= not sexy. If he showered in the morning and it was 3-4 pm I probably would

Work willy! Never thought of a sweaty willy as a work willy before but I quite like that

It's up to you - blokes seem to vary a lot in my experience. DP is very clean and always seems shower-fresh even when he hasn't showered that recently but some other blokes I have been with have had a noticeable smell - not a bad smell, just a willy smell - not that long after showering and they vary massively in how much smegma they produce too. I used to just dive in quickly with a baby wipe

I'm afraid i mega insulted DP the other day by demanding he and in these exact words wash that cock before it goes anywhere near my mouth because it stinks (that horrid willy/wee/whatever smell)
He .. i suppose quite rightly because i was a bit harsh scowled but he did go and wash.

I must point out this is after 7 years or thereabouts of ignoring it, trying not to gag when its shoved in my direction, and him thinking it does all the work in twenty seconds often always leaving me frustrated on the brink of murder and i think i just.. snapped :(

And he is generally a clean guy.. i guess they just don't think because its not like they can get their own face down there.. lets face it if they could...

A quick wash never hurts either of you, I prefer to be a bit fresher. Of course, a squirt of minty lube could help, (love my tingle lube!)

As long as he showers daily I'll go for it any time. Again, AS LONG AS HE SHOWERS DAILY!

DP showers regularly. Every day. I just don't think he knows.
Or maybe i was spoilt as my ex was circumcised and always smelt clean :) shame that was the only good thing about him lol

The benefits of having known someone who went beyond 'the norm' with hygiene - he washed after every loo trip and certainly before and after sex. Ah, if only all men would do this how much nicer things would be..

Well i wash three times a day (Ocd-ish) and i still don't get any action :( of the oral type that is lol

Maybe i should issue a blanket ban on it

Hate Oral sex....and did someone mention swallowing? Not for me.

Op, you're not alone .....i'd have him bleach it if i could... I hate bacteria and it doesn't help that i'm an OCD sufferer.

I used to have a problem with oral sex with my earlier partners, but luckily my OH is circumcised, which makes oral very nice. OMG, I'd not be all that keen if he weren't, even if he took a shower beforehand. With a circumcised penis there is no question as to hygiene, and I like the way it's more streamlined without all that extra skin in the way.

It's not ott if it's how you feel about it, your the one who's doing it is he disappointed you've never given him oral?

I would not demand it of DH and I think id be a bit insulted if he refused to give me oral sex because I hadn't just stepped out of the shower, but the discussion wouldn't really come up because we'd both make sure we were clean before letting the other do it

Not at all. Nothing wrong with a quick wash - it's what I'd do for him!

If it had been 12 hours since he showered and he'd been working all day then shower first but if its only been a few hours since shower and we'd been chilling out watching tv then no problem!!

Talking of reciprocity, would any of you ask him to shave down there if you had done yourself?

I am by no means a clean freak but yes, mostof the time we shower before sex, especially oral. Obviously if the mood takes you and you cant have a shower, its different....but we are married with young kids so sex does tend to take place in ur house after the kids are in bed and I find its more relaxing and enjoyable if you are both nice and clean...