No make up no bragging, no kissing, no shagging, no tumbling hair, be a maiden fair. And you definitely won't see him for dust! Dating thread 14

[ChaoticismyLife]

Chastity belts at the ready...

Extra strong padlocks required...

I was flabbergasted. He doesn't want to see his solicitor cos that means signing the divorce. Which he thinks means I can't move on. Nope, already have moved on. I met just friends online not sure that's a success yet and then there is zany

I want no contact. At all with the ex. I just felt a little guilty he was missing out on seeing his son grow up, but I can't put us at risk. Not ever. Everything has been via solicitors since January, no contact. All ties severed.
Anyway dating as we were.......

You kind of lose any right to see your son when you try to stab his mother. Controversial?

Don't all thank me at once, but I've just sent a single man over this way

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1472750-to-think-a-fake-reach-is-just-common-courtesy

He sounds like a good laugh. That sounds sarcastic, I'm actually being serious, he's very funny.

Time, Ive just hidden my pof one, because ive got a date with one sat, and a promised date with another in a few weeks. Not going to cut my nose off to spite my face..esp as I.am interested in both of them.
And I'm also chatting to two people on okc. One which wont go anywhere, but hes nice to talk to... And the other that I'm.interested in.

And there's my bloody match Subscription..gah!!!!!

It is a good weekend. And nicely balanced I think too.

MLM - he sounds horrible, dont send him anything. Also why did just friends tell you to be good? Did he call you?

the weird porno boy messaged me today saying he was drunk last night. what rubbish, he is just filthy, so I'm ignoring him still.

mr tall has been ill and keeps talking about his temperature. i'm not sure if he is too nice and sodt possibly for me, although it could be because i'm used to men that are not so nice.

A man. And actual real life man!!!!
You were shafted on the date btw..mean of her....

you are up to your knees in potatoes dating sites watch. I am very much looking forward to your updates after the weekend, I hope it all works out to be as good as it sounds.

A man?!!! eeek!

Watch! Do not be greedy! you have dates lined up, many dates, tis only fair that the real life man be shared equally.

I pay my own way real life man. Pick me!

No, none of them are potatoes!!! One is very strange, just Back from a dutch squat. Obviously not going to date him, but he has me in stitches..he rides motorbikes barefoot fgs..

I.should.imagine the date will be washout. It might not, I hope not, but stasticstally....

He comes back Saturday yay! The last text he sent me he said be good I will get atcha when I get back.

snape he actually succeeded in stabbing me and I still have the scar to prove it. I know I am doing the right thing, just needed my conscience eased.

I can pay in sexual favors!!! Pick me!!

Hahahaha.
:)

Sorry, thats a lie,dont believe the hype. I have a polo neck and a bun :)

why is it that the guys you really like the look and sound of never reply?

I cant pay in sexual favours, but if i did, i'd at least go halves. :)

Watch, that is cheating!!

I can pay in sexual favour after the 5th date. But only if I don't have to do the frozen chicken position because I don't ever want to have to do that again!

I've invited him over

I just wanted to say that the fella I met in RL also does things for charity! He's doing a bike ride for a local hospice!

Think I'm on to a winner

Time Frozen chicken postition? [Confused]

I need to know what the frozen chicken position is.

Ladies, frozen chicken position aka legs right over head so knees touching mattress. Good position for small willy sex. But not a position I want to have to repeat, no sireee!

Evening all :) I'm back, not that I've been anywhere but started with a cold Thursday evening, was fed up with Oasis and OKCupid so blocked them because I was feeling rotten. Still didn't feel any better on Saturday so hid profile on POF as well because when I'm not feeling well I just want to be left alone. Feeling a little better now but profiles are still hidden atm but we'll see. I won't delete any of my profiles, I've deleted on Oasis and OKC once and POF twice and ended up rejoining and redoing profile so they'll just stay hidden for now.

I saw the AIBU thread earlier. Welcome to the thread Mr Constanza...if you dare

Whoops - apologies for the tardiness - I was skim reading this thread and the one about the chap thrusting at an ATM whilst making a cup of tea. Who said men can't multitask?

So....is this a thread for sharing our dating woes? If so, I've undoubtedly found my spiritual home.

By the way watchoutforthatsnail - please advise that gentleman that a motorbike plus bare feet is a recipe for disaster. I speak from experience when I say one should always be fully leathered up. Applicable in many aspects of life.

I would try any and every position with just friends, angel halo slipping. < runs to find it and clean it til he gets back>

Oops...that should be Mr Costanza

Haha. I will inform him post haste :)

And shall innocently ignore the latter part of that sentence...we are ladies don't you know!!

And yep. Dating woes/ excitments/ general pondering/ baffkement at the opposite sex/ and huge celebrations when someone gets laid ,)