No make up no bragging, no kissing, no shagging, no tumbling hair, be a maiden fair. And you definitely won't see him for dust! Dating thread 14

[ChaoticismyLife]

Chastity belts at the ready...

Extra strong padlocks required...

Hello ladies sorry am rather late to this thread but am on a pof mission at the mo! My aim is to message at least one bloke every day so far have had two dates, was rudely stood up on one and the second was o.kay, he seems quite keen but I am not sure should I go out with him again just to make sure??!!

We will be holding a street party when I get laid!!

Time, that makes me laugh so hard, next.Time I end up like that I'm.going to want to cluck. And then laugh at myself. That might be a little offputting to whomever I'm.with huh..

Thanks very much for the invite everyone - and you're forgiven Chaoticismylife, what's an extra n anyway?

Definitely up for some encouragement and inspiration - I'm that useless that I've been referred to Relate counselling - which as a single person must be some sort of first. I wear the badge with pride.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you like him girliefriend? Is he worth getting all dressed up for? Does the thought of seeing him give you a little tingle or does it make your nose curl? If it's the latter then move on, don't waste your time on a nose curler.

George, how do you get refered to relate when your single????!!!!!
Well.meaning friend? Nagging.mother? Fed up pet?

Time. When you get laid we should declare it a national holiday :)

You should try it watch, it's a very good work out for the thighs and buttocks cos you also have to clench at the same time.

Give us some details then George, age, rough location, height, how long single, anything else you care to divulge?

can i just take your particulars George?

Firstly are you 6'3 or over? I only do tall

And you have to have a rugby player build.

That's about it.

Yeah!!!! I shall plan to get laid when the weather is good then, so you can all benefit!

We will be holding a street party when I get laid!!

Do I have to wear a hat?

We could have fireworks and champagne and cake...chocolate cake.

Yes, George, a few details would be nice.

Height
build
kids
general area you live
interests

And chicken Chaotic, don't forget the chicken!

Chaotic!! I thought you had written 'genital area' there I thought you were being very forward to our new member!

Definitely...we'll decorate the street with frozen chickens

Just seen this site mentioned on Georges thread badoo.com/. Wondered if it might be ok for making friends. Anyone tried it?

Definately not tingles, don't think I am going to bother tbh!

How do I let him down without sounding like a bitch gently?

Vibrant Early thirties East Anglian well sub six foot (but working on my posture - you can gain a couple of inches by standing up straight don't you know) eternally single male.

Skills according to the sole YABU on the other thread seemingly include whinging and stinginess. I can also cook very well, and am generally a dab hand at fixing stuff. Frankly I am, without wishing to blow my own trumpet, pretty good at everything! (that's blowing my own trumpet isn't it - I am occasionally crap at modesty). The only exception to my skills is a complete inability to make it known that I'm interested to women I like. I make friends very fast, and....that's it!

Interests - playing normal guitars, bass guitars, drums, keyboards and the clarinet. I can knock out any tune you ask if I've heard it before to an extremely low standard within minutes. Form an orderly queue ladies!

Kids - well I'd be looking for someone who wants to adopt or already has kids. Posted about this before on here - purely personal thing where I feel strongly that to offer love to a child who's already without parents/a parent is the right thing for me.

You say that although you had a nice time, he isn't for you, but you wish him good luck in his search. Don't be afraid of letting him down, this is what internet dating is all about, sorting the wheat from the chaff without emotional involvement. You reserve the emotional involvement for someone you really like, until then, you don't owe anyone anything.

LOL..I read genital area too..

Sorry.george..

Do we need some kind of bunting for this party? As previously mentioned I'm good at bunting. I'll wonder web little pictures of chickens on.it..

You need pilates for the posture George, it works wonders!

The next thing you need to work on, after the posture, is your inability to let women know you are interested. This is a major flaw when it comes to pulling women

We can help you with this.

Oh I forgot about build. The best way to descibe it is a work in progress. Think Michaelangelo's David - well, that's where I'm heading within six months. From a starting point of Ian Hislop (apologies Ian if you're actually packing a six).

Fuck..I'm.east Anglia. And early 30's!!!!!!

I'm sorry george. I'm.claiming you. Thats not forward at all, is it???

Time I have heard of it but thought it was based in London.

George maybe the relate suggestion was to work on your modesty

East Anglia?