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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Weird request in the bedroom?

115 replies

Daisy72 · 04/12/2005 21:53

Hello. I was referred to Mumsnet by a friend and have been lurking for a while trying to pluck up the courage to post. So here goes!

My husband and I have been married for a year. He is a dairy farmer. Recently he has been asking me if I would mind if he stimulates 'milking' me during sex, he says it really turns him on. I didn't mind too much, I guess all men like fiddling in that department, but now he wants me to really get into it. He wants me to moo!

I'm fairly liberal and I know he has a thing about breasts. But I don't like being compared to a cow and I worry about his thoughts when he actually is milking the cows! Has anyone any advice for me please?

OP posts:
TurkeyGang · 05/12/2005 12:06

This is a new Archers storyline, right?

Kathlean · 05/12/2005 12:08

Oh please stop, I now have the imagine of someone doing it in time with the blue cow tune lol (-:

HappyDaddy · 05/12/2005 12:15

And then, upon climax, cry out "Moo-er!".

Feistybird · 05/12/2005 12:16

or 'Hold very tight'

yULeYSEES · 05/12/2005 12:22

My first boyfriend was a dairy farmer and I'm pretty convinced.......

lazyanna · 05/12/2005 12:24

?

HappyDaddy · 05/12/2005 12:25

Does your fella say, "She's off again..."?

yULeYSEES · 05/12/2005 12:26

lazyanna

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 05/12/2005 12:27

Isn't there a joke about farmers, milking machines and the machine not stopping til it gets X pints?

feastofsteven · 05/12/2005 22:53

bump!

FastasleepInAManger · 05/12/2005 22:54

Ahahahaha MTS! I swear mumsnet just make these for you to surreptitiously bump up!

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 06/12/2005 12:25

I would never bump up a thread like this!

Glitterygook · 06/12/2005 12:27

PMSL!

SackAche · 06/12/2005 12:35

HAHA! This has fair cheered me up! Really it has.....

Daisy Daisy give me an answer do.
Is your DH crrraaazy
Over the love of Moooooooooooo
It won't be a stylish marriage
He can't get rid of his fetish
But you'll look sweet
Inside the suit
Of a dairy cow made for toooooooooo

Daisy - If this is real.... then your DH needs help and no you shouldn't go along with it. And if he's been shagging livestock he needs locked up!

kateandfelicity · 06/12/2005 13:30

Daisy

must agree with SachAche...

never do anything with your partner that makes you feel uncomfortable. i'm sure he would understand that... right? if not... then there's even more things that need to be addressed!

as for the livestock - beastiality is a criminal offence! - perhaps remind him of this if he protests over your complaint!! hehehehe

good luck?

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