So he has gone at last..why do I feel so wretched?

[memorylapse]

Following on from my previous threads, H finally left today after confessing he had strong feelings for the woman he had the EA with, he said he cant shake them off, he thought by staying, that the feelings would sbside, but they havent, he said he cares for me, but that he doesnt feel a spark etc. We had been coasting since christmas anyway..

He reckons he hasnt gone to stay with her..yeah right..I should be releived that I finally have some closure..instead I feel tortured..I keep imagining them together, laughing and joking at work,etc..I feel sick

have you got a website that doesn't instantly give away who you are? I'd love to see some of your work but only in a way that is safe for you.

ah dont worry thumbwitch, Im not a secret as Ive been posting for years on MN

my website is www.kaleidoscopefaces.co.uk

oh wow, memorylapse, those are fantastic! Absolutely wonderful work. No wonder you're an award winner - I should think the children never want to wash their faces again after having them painted like that!

Onwards and upwards, memory! :)

"I just think why would I want to be with someone that hurts me."

I know it seems like the bleeding obvious, but really, it's so easy to forget! Thanks Patience! :)

Everydays a pep talk hissy,I'm my own new best friend .sometimes I have a wallow re his new gf or getting divorced but I always know THIS TOO SHALL PASS and this is the best thing to happen me and my kids .
Freedom from abuse,escaping from all the lies and improving my self esteem are 2 huge benefits for me.
It's unlikely I'll never have another relationship so I have faith something will turn up along the way .
Until then I will continue nourishing me ,doin nice things for myself ,enjoy having my kids and taking each day as it comes.
At the end of the day we were incompatible,I am f***g amazing and he's NOT !
Ps if you are feeling down,just think of the bad bits and say out loud,
" and you want to be with this guy ,why ?"
It works for me x

Everydays a pep talk hissy,I'm my own new best friend .sometimes I have a wallow re his new gf or getting divorced but I always know THIS TOO SHALL PASS and this is the best thing to happen me and my kids .
Freedom from abuse,escaping from all the lies and improving my self esteem are 3 huge benefits for me.
It's unlikely I'll never have another relationship so I have faith something will turn up along the way .
Until then I will continue nourishing me ,doin nice things for myself ,enjoy having my kids and taking each day as it comes.
At the end of the day we were incompatible,I am f***g amazing and he's NOT !
Ps if you are feeling down,just think of the bad bits and say out loud,
" and you want to be with this guy ,why ?"
It works for me x

Sorry about that ,sent it from my phone,didn't think it worked the first time .

You should do fridge magnets... seriously!

If I were in your RL presence I'd be left without words most of the time and just be nodding like the Churchill Dog!

I have to say that the thought of having someone new in my life is utterly repellent. Why would do that to myself.

I know I'm a month in, and tbh, the X is still floating about albeit thousands of miles away, but him thinking/telling me that he is on a break with me, doesn't help to move on.

I'll give it time and get used to the peace, the routine and NOT having some stroppy shite to come and ruin the energy/atmosphere in the room again.

Should I suddenly have the need to be in the company of someone rude, unpleasant and bigotted, I can always pop over and see my stepfather...

Pmsl re fridge magnets ,hissy x

Thank you thumbwith..I do love what I do for a living

Well Im back from a whirlwind weekend away, went to visit an aunt that I hadnt seen for 18 years and also met up with a friend..feel like I have come back down to earth with a bump at the moment.

emotions not helped by the fact that AF is on the doorstep..I always feel crap at this time of month..

positives..my beautiful little girl hit a new milestone this weekend, she said ta after I gave her a rice cake and started cruising round the furniture pity her daddy has missed it

ML your pimped room sounds fab :)

It wont be long before you can see how much better your life is than the one you had with him. When you think about wanting to be with him, focus on what it was actually like - not how you wanted it to be - you'll come to terms with it much quicker!!

Have you done anything re the rent today?

I bet your Aunt was thrilled to see you and little MissML :) Daddy will miss lots of 'firsts' - it's the price he has to pay.

Your face painting is brilliant and your Henna is amazing!! I couldn't access your gallery though? Could you Thumb?

Thumb - glad you finally got the sodding oven sorted out!! Your new tennants sound great - long may they last!!!

Chipping..you sometimes have to refresh the gallery, then it will load

My aunt was chuffed to bits, I spent hours there showing her pics of all the DC'S, she couldnt stop photographing DD

I could access the gallery, even the rude bits

Glad you had a good weekend, ML

well done to MissyML !

he! he! not for the easily offended PA

I wish I looked like my body paint models

I am not the easily-offended type

the models look lovely...is it not sometmes a bit < ahem > ticklish though ?

out of interest...why does someone get painted like that ?

what do you do wih it/yourself then ?

weell..for many models its part of their portfolio and it means they can present their portfolio to clients looking for models fpor commercial body paints, such as advertising. For example..I painted some girls with a colleague to look as though they had brazillian football shirt on for a shoot for The Sun..

mostly its for competitions..I think its ticklish when I paint under their arms..very busty ladies Ive had to actually lift their boobs up to paint underneath but its all in a days work

Im off out now..he is baby sitting..

have a nice time

hope the dc spew on him

had a great time, no spewing but the DC's argued all evening so he looked like he was going to have a breakdown when I arrived back..

I sarcasticallypointed out that I couldnt wait for him to get a place of his own so that he could have the DC;s over so I could go out and enjoy myself

Chipping - thank you, yes the new tenants sound heaps better. :)
I had no problem accessing Memory's gallery, even the rude bits (which were rather fab - I didn't realise the bustier was painted on initially!)

Memory - glad you had a good time and ha! to H having a near-breakdown when having to look after his DC on his own. What fun he is going to have in future!

oh great result, ML

glad you had a nice evening

Yeah - great result ML

I could see your gallery today - fabulous!! I would love to be painted like that - I think it would be very relaxing. However, I'd love to have a body like that to have painted - with mine you'd be better of with a 2 litre dulux tin!

The thing that amazes me is that even when you can see the models 'bits' (male or female) they don't seem naked... it's odd.

I have seen (only on TV) some of the competitions/displays - they're incredible.

I think the model with the butterfly baby bump has the most incredible 'bump' I have ever seen. I love the way she is literally just her with a bump - you can see her non preganant shape all the way through her torso - it is like she's swallowed a ball - lovely... I'm