Calling all prostitutes and former prostitutes on MN, as there seem to be a few around right now...

[Aitch]

I'm curious to know how it makes you feel to see threads on here from wives and girlfriends etc when they discover that their husbands etc have been visiting prostitutes? even if you are happy in your own jobs (and i hope to god you are somehow, because the alternative is intolerable), how does it feel to be confronted with the downside of your work on these pages?

(i think it goes without saying that the men are culpable in this scenario, but am looking for some insight into how your work squares with sisterhood etc).

I don't think men who use prostitutes generally give a shit one way or another. I'll never forget seeing that woman on the documentary a couple of weeks ago saying that she told men she didn't want to be chosen in her brothel and this made no differnce. Some even seemed to like it. This is rape.

oh, and nice compassion on the 'such women are more likely to have problems with drugs'.

OK, I went to bed thinking about this, and woke up thinking about it.

Jenny60 has summed up perfectly how I feel.
Whether it's so-called ''high end'' prostitution or standing on a street corner, it is all about selling women's bodies. And in the final analysis, that can't be anything other than wrong. On lots of levels.

I am really [shocked] that Manda (and probably others) thinks it's OK for her children to know what she does. And for the life of me, I cannot think why anyone's partner would be happy with this as a line of work for the person they are married to.

I don't care that it's 'the oldest profession'. That doesn't make it right.

Dittany Don't assume that the '20yr old Brazilian' was 20 yrs old or Brazilian. Similarly don't assume that even if she was that she was trafficked.

Aitch it's not necessarily a matter of snobbery why a man wouldn't go to a street prostitute. Picking a girl up on the street is less discreet and and he risks arrest. Also the quickie in the back of a car is unlikely to be of interest to a man who wants to take his time and enjoy drinks/a meal and conversation as well as sex. Also he might be more worried about the risk of STDs among street prostitutes as well as the woman's potential unpredictability if she is taking drugs.

Sakura I guess to extrapolate from your point the whole of the sex industry should be banned because there is no way of knowing the backstories of all the women involved? I think it's unfair to assume MrsJ's husband didn't care whether or not the prositute he was with was there of her own free will. Perhaps he did care and perhaps he minimised the risk of being with a coerced woman as much as he could. Eg some of my clients have said they steer clear of foreign prostitutes who offer services in my town for this reason.

Of course they could be lying!

60 year man here, happily married for 35 years , been using prostitutes like Amanda for 25 years.FWIW I do have my own moral code. I have never used streetwalkers , massage parlours been with any woman under 25
or any foreign girl.There are plenty of mature independent women who are happy in ttheir own skin and offer a great service.I give them money , they are happy, I have treat myself occasionally and have a good time, and my wife although would be tremendously hurt if she found out, knows nothing and is never likely to be find out.
Where is the problem, I am no more responsible for abused exploited women than anyone else.

Well this thread has been well and truly slaughtered by the MN mafia.

NIMBYism at it's finest "we don't want the likes of her on here".
Lots of MNers are overt snobs, the difference is that they don't get hounded out of the joint for it.

HomeEco What is the other option for Manda, to lie, to keep her profession a secret cloaked in shame, potentially to be 'found out' by her kids in a manner not of her own choosing, or to be open and honest and able to discuss the issues pertinent to her job, as well as to make it clear that she is an independent worker exercising free will as well as a responsible parent who is providing for her family in a job she is good at?

This is sure to kick off again with the timely intervention of one Mr tremendoussleazebag.

Not funny people.

Read it properly, where did I say I was one of her clients.

tremendoussleazebag - many thanks for your input on this thread. Yes this probably will all kick off again now but it's good to hear another perspective on this issue from people who actually have first hand experience! I am curious: why have you been using escorts/prostitutes for 25 years? Is it because you and your OH have an unsatisfactory sex-life? I would be interested to know your reasons

Tremendoussleazebag raises another point about my own clientele: I'm in my thirties and don't hide the fact, most of the men I see would rather be with a woman of my age than someone who is too young to know what she is doing or to protect herself properly, or who is potentially even younger than she says she is and perhaps being coerced.

Also about having a moral code, this is true, most men do not decide to be unfaithful to their wives with a prostitute 'out of the blue', they have usually thought about it for a fair old time before going through with it, and most of them have their own criteria for doing so. Eg they will only see a woman over a particular age (like TS) or they will not see a woman who offers X Y or Z as services because they are high risk services.

Morals often are relative. Remeber that many of the men have already come to the conclusion that it is already more 'moral' to have sex with a prostitute than it is to have an affair or leave their families.

Better than hearing about it from biased feminazis :)

watching - I am off out now, but will give that Q some thought, and reply later...

Well I can't argue with those who want the sex trade erased from existence, there's nothing I can say to you. You will answer any point I make with the phrase 'what about trafficked women'. You haven't mentioned anything about the men and women who are doing the trafficking. I hope you've got as many opinions on them as you have on non-raping men and non-trafficked prostitutes.

I have to go out now too but will be back. It's an interesting thread apart from the personal abuse a few pages back.