Archers thread #147: Spring is sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder how old Ambridge is. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Many thanks to @PseudoBadger for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

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Title comes from this poem, with which I drive my family to distraction at this time of year.

Spring is sprung, the grass is riz
I wonder where the birdies is.
The bird is on the wing.
But that’s absurd, the wing is on the bird.
Or so I’ve heard.

Ogden Nash

Apologies to @TeenDivided for ignoring her good ideas for the thread title. Here they are to kickstart our ruminations:
'window on the world of cheesemaking'
'how long until the intercom is fatal'
'will Brian settle in new pastures'
'Springing towards Easter with Widowers, Windows, and wails'

Over to you!

So the whole time Jess was talking to Helen I was thinking I wonder if Rob is there in the background somewhere looking on ...

Same! Especially after Natasha mentioning she hadn't told Tom where she was off to..

Also I was thinking perhaps Ursula has left Ethan & Gideon (Jack) an inheritance ?

You can hardly expect him to continue to sustain unaffordable losses at GG in order to keep Tracey in a job. And she put herself out of the running for an interim job through that stunt of using her employers premises for a lunchtime shag.

I think George would be a prime county lines candidate but that would be an incredibly depressing storyline.

I think they're usually younger than 18.

George can’t even recognise turkey poults - despite the role they play in his family’s life every year. And he thinks he knows everything. He’d be a terrible acquisition for a drugs gang.

Brad, on the other hand … Putty in their hands, and they could throw away their calculators.

Ethan isn't Rob's child, is he? I seem to remember some controversy but it eventually being conclusive that his father was some sort of FWB/one night stand that Jess had?

Yes but maybe due to naïveté and George still seems to have that at 18, plus his desire for easy money combined with over egged belief in himself and lack of morals.

@TottersBlankly - seriously? Oliver should have completely changed his business plan to keep Tracey in a job?

I thought Jess was going to say that she and Rob were back together.

And wtf has got into Iain? He's usually the sensible one.

More likely to have left them a witch's curse.

But why Ethan? He was no relation to her, and the last we heard about her Ursula was practically spitting on Jess in the street.

@CurlewKate @MereDintofPandiculation - Not saying he should have kept a failing business open, but he could have found something to keep Tracy employed during these months. She’d have been an excellent person to liaise with disgruntled Ambridge residents. Or to answer phones in a little pre-fab office.

They were supposed to be friends. He knew how she’d struggle. And yet he stood by and did nothing. Other than introducing her to the food bank. The more I think of it, the more infuriated I become.

What a silly episode. How do men of Adam and Iain's age and experience not know how trusts work? Or is it spelling it out for the thick listeners? Actually It is; the too-rapid resolution annoying as always, give it away.
The whole patronising looking out for Alice - bellringing, forsooth - will blow up big time.

I agree that Jess is concealing something. Let's hope Ursula has willed Jack some cash. In trust, with Rob as the trustee.

@echt Let's hope Ursula has willed Jack some cash. In trust, with Rob as the trustee.

That would be absolute genius, especially if it were a very large amount of money! Imagine Helen's moaning about it being "so unfair" to Henwy. Sadly, Ursula was the sort of person who would have taken all her money out of the bank in cash and set fire to it rather than do any such thing.

They clearly haven't actually spoken to bellringers. The notion that Alice could go from nothing to being competent to help usefully with coronation ringing within three weeks is fairly ridiculous. She might manage it if she practised full time, but she hasn't got time to do that; and it's the nature of bellringing that you kinda need at least another 5 people to practise with you to become useful.

Idk, this was published just over a week ago..
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/apr/04/bellringer-shortage-king-charles-coronation-looms

Natasha's irritation with Jess just showed that she hasn't got a clue about abuse and the legacy it leaves. I thought it perfectly credible that Jess just wanted to, as quietly as possible, tell Helen that he was back in the country.

However her observations about Jess's strange manner were obviously there for a reason.

Natasha thinks a non-mol will stop him - I don't think so.....!

they need to be telling the whole of Ambridge, plus the 2 schools that Rob is back in the country and please to be on full alert.

However her observations about Jess's strange manner were obviously there for a reason I completely agree. The suggestion that she doesn't have anyone else in her life, also the comments about looking nervous, is it alright if I have a drink now, should I be taking my shoes off made me wonder if she was being watched or if she had been sent to gather information. I'm certain there will be a parallel with Jenny's bequest to Alice. Maybe Ursula has cut Knob out of the equation and left her money in trust for Gideon - in which case the suggestion that he's popped back for the funeral and will be off again in a trice seems hopelessly optimistic.

It's pretty obvious that they're never going to let the Rob SL peter out with him ignoring Helen and MySon and quietly getting a plane back to Minnesota.

I guess even Harrison could manage to arrest him if told that he's going to be at Ursula's funeral. The question is whether Helen will pass that information on.

I'm curious about the rest of Rob's family, if anyone wants to enlighten me.

Apart from Rob's father calling Helen a "gold-digging tart", I don't remember much about him. Was he bullying/controlling and why Ursula always stuck up for Rob?

I wonder if he's still around.

And there was a brother, I think?

Harrison already knows that Rob is back in the country. It would not be hard for the police to work out his mother has died and he is here for her funeral. Is there a warrant out for his arrest? What's the offence- coercive control, or attempting to kidnap Jack or something else? My memory's hazy.

I liked the scene with Chris, Ian and Adam getting all angry with each other then falling over themselves to apologise. Until it randomly moved on to bell ringing, which was beyond ridiculous, line a bad comedy sketch.