Badly done Helen, badly done - you're as stuffed as a Grundy turkey. Discuss The Archers here.

[PseudoBadger]

New thread in time for Friday's episode...

Cutted Thanks!

Re Rob's motivations - I'd forgotten I'd come to a sociopath conclusion before (total lack of empathy, motivation of control - fits). I think during a bit of discussion about abuse further up I'd started to think about abuse more generally which is why I'd gone back to questioning his motives as though he were more 'normal' (for want of a better word). Not all abusers are sociopaths; I've come across my share of men who have controlled or dominated in one way or another and none of them were devoid of empathy, although perhaps emotionally a little limited or damaged in many cases. (Although are all sociopaths abusers?)

Agree about the weirdness of the Jess storyline. I am still convinced that Ethan is his because it seemed so improbable that that wasn't the case. If Ethan is someone else's then Jess must have slept with someone else within a fairly short window, which she'd be very aware of, and why then would she be so convinced the baby was his - to the extent of getting the CSA (or whatever it is called) on him. There weren't any other pointers that she was 'unhinged'; the whole thing is very patchy.

Wasn't it Dr Locke who did the test?

An yes, an appearance by Ursula would be very useful for shedding some light on things!

But Jess admitted it wasn't his!!!

I think you are right that they expected that to be the end of it but then decided to run with it so had to get him out of paternity. That then meant Jess had to admit that she had slept with someone else around the same time. Which is utter BS if we are to believe he had the same hold over her that he has over Helen

The sl for the past two years have been inconsistent, unbelievable and poorly done character wise

Oh I didn't remember that! (Jess admitting it)

I have just been googling 'can you cheat a paternity test' though (to add to my 'interesting' browser history of diseases in cattle, silage making, revoking PR, and relationships with sociopaths…) and for the CMS to take note of a paternity test it has to be carried out by a health professional who confirms they have seen the person's photo ID, so that's pretty conclusive anyway.

Very disappointing! I can know it's bad scriptwriting but that won't stop my brain whirring away whilst nothing else is going on trying to work out what really happened…

I repeat my theory from a previous thread. It was Jess who faked the test. She finally realised she'd be better off without Rob in her life, so borrowed a random baby for the test.

BTW would Rob get the CSA money back?

Or do the doctors check the mother's DNA as well?

Did I miss Ursula in Ambridge? I thought she'd only telephoned unexpectedly and spoken to Helen.

Yes she phoned

She was supposed to turn up for the dinner party and stay at GG but they didn't show (because they had no idea they had even been invited...)

The paternity test makes no sense to me unless it was meant to show us how downright nasty Rob can be, and to show how Helen would blindly support him.
His enemies include Jim, Charlie, the SAB, Jess, his parents & Ian and Helen has either not seen/heard what he said or chosen to ignore it.

I never used to mind Ruth and David but it's all become so ludicrous. They've got 4 car drivers in that house. Presumably Josh now drives to school/college. He could easily be asked to stop off for a jar of peanut butter and a loaf. And Bert is there too, isn't he? And he's just a young thing compared to Jill. He's been so quiet of late maybe he's faded away from lack of Freda's dinners. And no substitutes. Despite my knowledge of farming coming exclusively from here or on TA! - I've been organising them all in my head. All they need to do is load the washing machine before they go to bed, then whoever does the mornign milking switches it on. After milking and breakfast someone hangs it out, puts in in drier. If they really can't order online, then one or two days each week someone goes in their car to the supermarket. With a list already printed form the PC. After all, their diet isn't so varied they need to write a new list each time. When one of the farmers is at supermarket, the other two farmers (and Bert?) can do teh farm work. The they can ahve lunch and do more farm work. And load the washign machine again. I jsut don't get how hard it is for them all, and I am at the decidely squalid and lazy end of the spectrum. Did Jill, when in residence, so all the shopping too? In the car she nearly killed a grandchild in? Did her cataracts heal okay then? It's such nonsnense. Now I'm off to google CSA tests!

Oh Pat you fucking TWAT!

And Helen, you'l pay for that one...

Heart. Pumping.

So Hazel's moving to Ambridge????

I guess the eviction notice will be waiting for them at Grey Gables ...

Well done Helen!!
But now for repercussions.

And as for keepers. When will the penny drop?

Where's that fucking patio when you need it?

Oh God - I just can't listen to much more of this.

How stupid are the Grundys? Do they obviously not realise that they are never returning to Keepers?!

Oh my. I'm feeling a bit scared ....why?...

Poor Helen....

Oh, poor Clarrie.

And where did, "You're usually right about these things, Rob" come from? I know they might not have the full measure of him hiring Tina to screw up the shop and so on, but while they might be lacking evidence about how shit he actually is, I would argue there's no positive evidence about his general brilliance other than what comes out of his own mouth. And Pat is usually a bit stronger than that.

Pat has had an ambridge character transplant.

Our farm.

Awful. Horrifying.

So, that'll be Helen scuttling back to Pat and telling her Rob is right after all and it's the Bridge Farm Cafe ('what else?').