Will they put DC up a year?

[Ohnoivebecomethatmum]

My dc has just started in reception in a private school, due to having younger sibling and me not returning to work, they didn't attend nursery. DC is very bright for their age, even when looking around private schools this was commented on, along with other parents stating this. They are reading and writing and adding and subtracting already and they are a late summer baby. I don't say this to boast, but to give context. Anyway, they have been at school for a week and we've had the plan for the rest of the month and none of it will stretch my DC. Am I being ridiculous to ask if they will put DC up a year? Or should I just wait and see and ask for some stretch/challenge tasks?

Many parents who are not “paying” will genuinely want the best environment for encouraging their DC’s love of learning

My daughter was put up a year when she was 4. Autumn birthday. She thrived - socially, academically and sports, was stretched and challenged. UNTIL she reached secondary. Then suddenly she was just ‘normal’ and started to suffer in terms of social and sport. She really suffered in sixth form socially and sports. We held her back a year before uni and she has re-found herself socially and in sports. Academically she was still on the higher end, but she may well have benefited from being in her own year group and being top of that group rather than being middle of the year above. You will struggle to find a senior school to take out of year children and our senior school would only accommodate it as long as she kept up academically. If they don’t they then have to drop back a year which brings all sorts of issues around social elements and also repeating academic work. We had no choice but to stay in private sector as no state school would entertain up a year early. (And then only because she was an autumn birthday)
also minor point some trips and extra curricular are limited by age (Duke of Edinburgh is definitely one which is a hard non negotiable) without the minefield of even early drinking being even early for your child! You may not be thinking of these now but they do have a major impact in the later years.
My advice having just come out of it would be don’t do it. There are many pitfalls that you can’t see now (as I didn’t at the time) but in hindsight I wouldn’t want my child to experience again.

DH was bright (Nov birthday) and was put up a year starting secondary a year early. This was late 70s / early 80s. Huge mistake. Yes cooed academically but not socially.

You can’t really tell what the learning is going to be like from the plan. The teacher and any teaching assistants (presumably the ratio of adult to child is high?) should naturally adapt based on the children they have in the room.

To use your example about already knowing shapes, the teacher can stretch your child by talking about more complex shapes with them. If your child can already write, they will be able to write more complex sentences whilst everyone else is learning C-A-T. Every child will learn phonics together, but your child can read War and Peace with the teacher while others are reading easier books. I’ve taught in Reception and there will be a huge difference in development and ability amongst the children - Reception teachers are used to this.

I'd take a wait and see approach for now. The school need to get to know your DC and if they are a good school they will nurture and stretch all pupils including those who are especially gifted. I don't think they will be able to make an informed professional decision after just over a week.

My DD was ahead of other children in Year R as I had spent a lot of time with her (long mat leave and I'm a teacher) but by probably end of Y2 she wasn't as ahead, as others had caught her up. She wasn't exactly gifted and talented but had been exposed to more stimulus than the average child in her class. Not saying this applies to your DC, but children starting school can have massive differences in abilities, academically and socially due to their home and nursery experiences. I'd let them settle in and see what the teachers think after the first term.

My brother was a late summer baby (end if August) and he was put back a year. No idea why, he wasn't less able than his original class. But he went from being the youngest in his class to the oldest..

No they won't put them off. At that age the children who are advanced are so she to parental input. Families who put in the effort to teach kids results in advanced children. The school are used to this

I think a discussion about how best to stretch him is fine but I don't understand what the end game is for those who want to do it ahead of milestones.

A child genius at university at 14, what does it actually gain them? The experience at that age is surely less enjoyable than with their peers.

It's not like there's a finite amount of things in the world to learn. If his English is already ahead of where it needs to be then learn French, or a musical instrument or anything else of interest.

You also can't be sure he'll continue to make these leaps. His learning may plateau and be consistent with age in a few years.

I love that, dc is learning French at the school and I'm keen for them to pick up an instrument. There are definitely other areas they could challenge/stretch dc in. Agree, on a wait and see approach for now.

As much as I have given dc a helping hand with their learning, I am not trained in early years/KS1.

You really don't need to be a teacher. There's a whole world of things you can teach that wouldn't be covered at any school. Nothing to stop you developing his maths and reading as well.

My eldest daughter, now 21, was (is!) bright, reading for a year when she went into reception, independent, social etc. However, I am glad she didn't move up a year for two reasons.

Firstly, she was able to develop a real confidence in her abilities, speaking confidently about topics and learning to stretch herself, in her own interests.

Secondly, she started university (Oxford) at 18, being able to drink! Some students - usually from abroad - who skipped a year were quite limited in there first two terms in not being able to go into certain venues, have a pint out etc.

I wouldn't have wanted her to have one less year of childhood before going off to uni. School is such an important time, with so many opportunities, and there's no point wishing it away!

@Ohnoivebecomethatmum You don't need to be trained in EY teaching to stimulate and help dc. Making sure you read to him, interesting books not book scheme ones, take him to places that are not just entertaining (my dc liked museums and art). Talk to him about wildlife and history, listen to music - anything beyond the classroom.
Develop interests away from the school curriculum.

At state school, dc could start learning the recorder in y1. Then DD did violin in y3. There were other wind instrument choices too. Piano lessons at 6. Other dc started sports. There was an active gymnastics club near here and rugby. DD2 was very keen on dance.

Go on stimulating holidays. We did have relaxing holidays but never sat on a beach for 2 weeks. By 5/6 there are interesting places to go and dc start appreciating the world around them. I think you can educate him beyond school and bright dc do act like sponges. They absorb knowledge and develop other interests.

Foster friendships with other dc and go to parties that dc will inevitably have. There’s always a social side to learning and you can certainly help with this. Fun times ahead!

🤣🤣🤣. So true. I do that in my line of work. It is amazing that I have never worked for anyone who has an ugly pet.

Well they don’t flatter at the super competitive London schools. They have about 7 dc for each place at 3.

I strongly think you need to take a step back for a moment here.
Theyre still at the point of assessing your child. Your child will be less mature than the older children. They'll no doubt struggle when they are older if you do get them put up a year.

Surely, the good bit about private prep is the individual education children get but give them time. Also, we all are our children's biggest supporters and its hard to see things sometimes. I have seen children who can recite XYZ, tell you this and that but cannot tell you how they got there.

Additional, being top of the class, if genuinely more academically advanced, is often better than being middle of the range in a different setting.

As others have said, they won’t put your child up. They all develop and different paces and have things they need to work on. My eldest was a very bright summer born- seemed well past her peers at 3 etc. At 10 she’s bright but middle of the pack in her selective prep. Spikey profile with some definite weaknesses and strengths. If would have never crossed my mind to try and put her up and at times there have been social gaps between the eldest and youngest.

There will be children that overtake your child. They will want to be settling in the children and get them used to routines. You really can’t judge if your child is being appropriately stretched after a week in reception. They’ll be focusing on routines and having happy children.

My August born was definitely not behind in maturity. Far from it.

They absolutely do. It's just a smoother operation.