Will they put DC up a year?

[Ohnoivebecomethatmum]

My dc has just started in reception in a private school, due to having younger sibling and me not returning to work, they didn't attend nursery. DC is very bright for their age, even when looking around private schools this was commented on, along with other parents stating this. They are reading and writing and adding and subtracting already and they are a late summer baby. I don't say this to boast, but to give context. Anyway, they have been at school for a week and we've had the plan for the rest of the month and none of it will stretch my DC. Am I being ridiculous to ask if they will put DC up a year? Or should I just wait and see and ask for some stretch/challenge tasks?

As I said in a previous message, I think you should watch and enjoy your child’s journey. I have spent my life assessing and working with young children. Just as I do not believe that children should be kept back a year, I do not think they should be moved forward. I am sure if he is not flourishing his teacher will let you know.

Of course I do not know your child. I am sure that you enjoy him immensely. I bet I would. In your case I would do as other posters have suggested and encourage an instrument or a couple of foreign languages- let him catch up with the Dutch children who have to learn 4 languages. Languages offer so many opportunities for young people. Make the most of his eager brain.

Ohno I suspect that at some point the teachers will divide the class by ability. They tend not to broadcast this but it’s generally ragingly obvious to most parents who goes on which table.

As others have said, your DC may look mature to you but jumping a year would put them with children up to 50% older than them. Think of that. The older children will be bigger and stronger (so no sports triumphs for your sporty DC), much more emotionally mature and - most importantly - they will be acutely aware of developmental differences that we adults fail to see (so your DC will find it much harder to establish friendships). The reason British schools rarely do this is because of the damage it does. I’m a middle of the year baby who was reading at 18 m and had a guaranteed slot on top table. I thank heavens no one did that to me. I saw DSis and DD, both late summer babies, struggle to cope emotionally and socially with the September borns.

Let your DC be successful in their own year group. Don’t deprive them of friendships and sports wins because they are clever. There are loads of things you (as well as the school) can do to stretch them without separating them from their year group.

I would be surprised if a decent private school doesn’t stretch an able child, and parents evening would be a good time to talk about this. With small class sizes and plenty of staff, they often have ability groups for phonics etc. There will be a huge range of ability in reception and this is normally very well catered for in independent schools. There’s a possibility they may suggest able pupils move up a year just for phonics sessions for example. Your child is unlikely to be the only very bright child and they’ll be used to dealing with different abilities.

I personally wouldn’t want them moving up a year for everything. They’ll have a lot to learn socially, and moving them up would mean that they would be almost 2 years younger than the oldest in the year above. Fast forward a few years, and there is a huge difference between a 12 year old and a 14 year old. School is not just about maths and English. As a previous poster suggested, look at taking up a musical instrument (school should be able to help with that as they’ll no doubt have visiting music teachers). If he’s only been there a few days, give school a chance to get to know the children. By half term they’ll have a good idea of ability levels.

@OhnoivebecomethatmumThis private school might not be as good as you think it is! There is a curriculum but you need your child to be assessed in terms of what they can do. I have seen dc reading paragraph books upon entering YR so what’s the point of basic phonics for them? Teachers must assess the skills dc have on entry to school and extension work then set as appropriate. Exactly the same assessments in maths and other skills.

It’s highly unlikely he will go up a year. They must be able to accommodate his educational needs within his class and others might be bright too. Of 3 dc I know who have been to Cambridge to do maths, they all stayed in their year groups but did have great teaching and accurate assessment as to needs. You are paying - your dc should get the same assessment as they would at a state school! If it doesn’t happen and all dc slog through a standard curriculum, what are you paying for! Nice grounds and ethos?

I have a bright summer born. Just started year 1. By January of reception it was becoming ridiculous despite being streamed into the more able groups and we had to have an honest chat with his teacher. By the end of the year he had finished the reading scheme and was reading at the same level as year 2 children. He’s just started year 1 and we’re already noticing behavioural issues as a result of not being stretched. We will have further discussion with his new teacher at parents evening in October but I don’t think moving up will do him any favours socially. His reading improved over the summer and he’s reading at the level of a 8 or 9 year old and teacher friends have commented on his “advanced reasoning”. School will not offer him enough academically but it’s good socially.

I was put up a year as I could read and write. Then kept down a year when I was 9 as socially it was becoming obvious I was younger. I had levelled out a lot by then. My parents had taught me to read but once others caught up it wasn't ao obvious.

I’d stop digging if I were you, OP.

Have you considered hyperlexia? Not unusual in supposedly advanced 4 year olds

You child is late summer in reception.
Hes 4
Reception is mainly play based.
Yr1 is very different so no they will not move him and rightly

Our DDs when younger sound very similar to yours. Reading broadsheet newspapers before they started school, but they weren’t perfect in other areas, eg many children were better swimmers or had more general knowledge etc - they all have their individual skills/weaknesses. They were emotionally mature too.

Didn’t occur me to move them up. Yes they got bored sometimes but I can’t think of any advantages they would have gained by being moved up. They stayed in their age group, made friends, got into grammar schools, Oxbridge and now doing good jobs.

So I would just leave your DC where they are. No advantages to being a year younger, getting your driving lessons later than your friends etc.

Honestly your child is so young, let them be a kid. They don’t need to be challenged, let them settle in school. As long as they enjoy it that’s what matters at this age. Social skills are so important too and they’re developing this.

My comment was in relation to goady and frankly nasty comments particularly from watermelonyea. I don't have an ego but I'm honest about how intelligent my child is. I am paying for them to go to private school to nurture their abilities because they are working above what is expected for their age. I looked at 5 private schools and 3 of them (including the one I have chosen) said they could be a couple of years above and were super impressed with them whilst we looked around. They also commented on their confidence, social skills and manners and couldn't believe they hadn't been to nursery.
In relation to your comment about letting them enjoy learning, that is my main point. My child is inquisitive and thoroughly enjoys learning and that is so beautiful to see as a parent. I want that love of learning to continue in school so they can thrive rather than become bored and disruptive as a lot of times this can happen in schools.
At home my child completely relaxes, we play games which they love, duplo, watch TV, ride their bike, go to the park and softplay - they aren't studying to become accepted into Mensa. I just don't want my child to be learning about shapes when they already know this or basic words - again, when they can properly read.

You won’t be able to quote a goady nasty message from me @Ohnoivebecomethatmum

but your response was childish and nasty for sure

I have just read up on this, super interesting. No, I don't think so as DC's oracy skills are great (wish they wouldn't talk so much sometimes lol) they also know many words to describe one thing e.g. Fuschia, pink, cerise.

@Ohnoivebecomethatmum

I would avoid moving up a year if at all possible because you don't know how long being developmentally ahead of his peers will last. It is the case for almost all very bright children that they've just developed more quickly than their peers and everyone else will eventually catch up. The last thing you want is to move them up now and then find that a few years (or even several years) down the line they need to be held back/are struggling.

If it's a good private school they should have no trouble challenging and stretching your DC academically within his current class. If they aren't able to do this then look for another school to spend your money on.

They will need time to assess your child though and they're unlikely to be able to do a full assessment and implement alternative arrangements in a week though. Think about what that might involve and a reasonable timeframe for them to do that in.

Bye

If they were a September birthday maybe. As a summer baby, absolutely no way

Just let them be 4.

Just let them play and settle. If they really do need moving up there’s plenty of time for that later. Just let them be little.

My DH was moved up a year, this was in the 1960s.
He did well academically but it was very difficult socially and he was an autumn birthday. It's the older milestone birthdays that are harder. Friends driving, drinking before you. He went to uni at 17 and everyone else was over 18.
When DS1 was 4 he was very advanced academically and DH was keen for him to be moved up, I wasn't. Anyway they very seldom do it nowadays.

Your son is probably advanced because you have taught him yourself in a way he might not have been taught if he'd gone to nursery. To stretch him you just need to keep doing the same and let school do their job.

Thank you for this, this is exactly what I mean and I wouldn't want to happen.

“I looked at 5 private schools and 3 of them (including the one I have chosen) said they could be a couple of years above and were super impressed with them whilst we looked around. They also commented on their confidence, social skills and manners and couldn't believe they hadn't been to nursery.”

Of course they said that - they want your business! Flattering you and your child is part of the business model (Or alternatively playing into your fears - if you said you were worried about your DS then they would having been telling you they could remediate).

(I say that having put two kids through private, so I don’t have an anti-private bias.)

I think also you need to realise what the difference him not being used to the school would make if he moved up a year. There’s no way he’s fully confident in all the myriad way things work in a school after only one week (e.g. where things are, dining room rules, expectations etc) and in reception part of the point is to get them used to school, whereas by year 1 you spend much less time on it as it’s simply reminders. Also however bright he is, he is incredibly young to give up play based education having been 3 a few months ago and there’s very little of it in year 1. You can be bright and still need opportunities to play. If you keep him in private school and move him up a year and it’s a school that plays rugby he’s unlikely to ever make the team as the size difference between him and kids nearly two years older will be too big.

If you give the teacher a few weeks they’ll probably have noticed how bright he is and started extending things anyway and if not then maybe mention it. Having worked in reception I highly doubt they’ll have done anything terribly challenging this week, as the focus is on getting them settled and starting to introduce school expectations and how things work. Remember starting school is a huge mental load on these children so they won’t want to overload him too quickly either however bright he is until he’s settled.

Thank you. I really appreciate that.

Unlikely at this age.

I do know of a yr 8 girl who skipped yr 9. Early Sept birthday and came out with all 8/9s in her GCSE’s. (That was private school)

But it’s definitely the exception not the norm - even in private education.

And usually only down in secondary when you can tell if a child is actually exceptional academically rather than learnt skills early.

Yes! Exactly this. It is a lot we are paying and so I genuinely want the best environment for encouraging DC's love of learning. As much as I have given dc a helping hand with their learning, I am not trained in early years/KS1.