Will they put DC up a year?

[Ohnoivebecomethatmum]

My dc has just started in reception in a private school, due to having younger sibling and me not returning to work, they didn't attend nursery. DC is very bright for their age, even when looking around private schools this was commented on, along with other parents stating this. They are reading and writing and adding and subtracting already and they are a late summer baby. I don't say this to boast, but to give context. Anyway, they have been at school for a week and we've had the plan for the rest of the month and none of it will stretch my DC. Am I being ridiculous to ask if they will put DC up a year? Or should I just wait and see and ask for some stretch/challenge tasks?

No, we have a large family with children of similar ages. Playgroups every other day, weekly trips to the zoo, museums, lots of catch up with my NCT mums and play dates with other friends, plus clubs - dc is very sociable. I also love being around them, that time was so precious and I was so lucky to be around for that.

You might like to watch the secret lives of four year olds, a documentary series secretly taping a group of four year olds. It taught me just how hard they are working when learning to navigate new friendships with children and work out how to respond to unexpected behaviour from other children.
I actually felt sorry for them at just how hard they were having to work.

Let him enjoy being four.
Don’t even think about it.
As he gets older he will be the odd one out.
A state secondary school would not accept a 10 year old. Think of the future - your child does not want to be labelled.

I've watched it but thanks.

@Ohnoivebecomethatmum then you know how hard he will be working every day in making and navigating new friendships.

@Ohnoivebecomethatmum then you know how hard he will be working every day in making and navigating new friendships.

Did you discuss your DC's aptitude when applying to the school?

There is a lot more to early years education than academics so it won't do your DC to move up a year - what happens at the end of primary? End od secondary?

It may become apparent in class that your DC isn't being stretched and the school will manage that.

FWIW we have a family member who sounds very similar and they are now at a school for G&T pupils (not UK).

Of course, but that would be the same if we moved schools etc. Look, I've stated I will wait until parents evening and let the teacher lead and then ask for more challenging work to be given if they haven't realised DC's potential.

Ds1 is very bright and was bored throughout school. We taught him strategies for coping with boredom (eg ask for extension work, check your work properly, help others, create your own extension work, read - he always carried spare books with him. He also looked forward to extra curricular activities and invested a lot of energy into them.

He got top grades in 5 A levels and went into Oxbridge, though met many others there far brighter. His mate, who even ds1 said was cleverer than him, did go up a year. He sailed through the work at school but sadly really struggled with life and dropped out of uni.

You can thrive without.being pushed to your maximum ime. Aim for a well rounded happy person with a range of skills and activities. He will find his way.

They can, but it can lead to problems down the line. I know someone in this position with a child born in early September. Started in private but after a few years moved to state. Managed to persuade the state school to keep them in the year above, but child is now in Y6 and they can’t find a secondary (state or private) who will take him. They are facing the prospect of moving him to another school to repeat y6 or taking a year out.

Also you said he loves sport. Being in a class with boys who are bigger if he moved up, could affect his sports playing as he got older,

Perhaps try to gently prepare yourself for the possibility that when they realise his potential, it might be the same as the other kids. True, it might not be, but at the moment you seem to be setting all of you up for a fall.

I’d say just chill out tbh it’s only been a fortnight! In the long term make sure child is in or headed to strong academic schools and the rest will take care of itself. It can sometimes seem as a parent of a bright child that teachers have never seen their like before but they really have. Plenty of kids are bright and absolutely they do not put them up a year because what they gain in the classroom they lose out on in relationships with their peers. It’s long debunked. I agree with others above, with a truly bright child it’s more about making sure they have good relationships with others and develop into a well rounded individual who can cope with life, not just academics.

If your child is bright (we have 3 bilingual children with high IQ) start them on a MFL, on Latin or an instrument. Or whatever you fancy tbh.
So many things they can be streched on not jumping a class at school.

If teacher hasn't realised their potential by parents evening its likely you are imagining it. My son is bright in maths and teacher literally said she could sit back and he could teach the entire class without input. They know whose got potential it's their job.

I suspect you’ll recall this thread in a few months and cringe

It takes quite a bit of training to become a teacher, I'd probably trust them to do as they think best.

OP why are you so worried about your 4 year old being pushed and challenged? Why not let him get used to the massive change and social context of being in a whole new environment?
What do you think is actually going to happen if you just give it some time to settle and see how he goes? He's 4 years old. Chill out a bit.

if you feel your child is bright there is a lot you can do at home.

in infants your child is usually expected to read to you each day (reception may wait until they’ve taught a few sounds first) so getting ahead with that can be good - there’s plenty of places to get books including libraries and

https://readingchest.co.uk/

maths can also be supported at home and there is a lot more than just counting and adding and subtracting - try these for some ideas:

https://nrich.maths.org/early-years-foundation-stage-activities

other ways that parents try to extend bright children are through learning an instrument/a music class - most music hubs offer musicianship classes for young children and some instruments can be started at this age.

https://www.artscouncil.org.uk/MusicHubs

it’s also possible to start a modern foreign language at this age through play based classes.

OP, of course you will be wanting your child to be given challenges in his/her learning. But I agree with other posters that moving up a class would not be the right answer. I’m a teacher, and I recognise your description of your child in some that I’ve taught and also in my own DC, and to an extent in my self as a child. Children develop at different rates. If you move a child up into Y1 because R work isn’t challenging enough for them at age 4, there may come a time in the future when their peers catch up and your child suddenly doesn’t have that advantage. I’ve seen that happen and it can undermine children’s confidence.

Instead, it’s best to give your child additional challenges within the Reception class. Give plenty of enriching reading. Encourage him or her to write stories. If learning a musical instrument or other such skill outside school is an option, that’s a brilliant way to enrich learning. I’m sure the school will be keen to develop their talents, once routines are settled.

Children start school at such different levels as people take different approaches to early years learning, some people think that pushing young children isn’t the right way and others get them reading and writing early. The first year is play based learning and getting them all on the same page. Emotional and social aspects of school are just as important as the learning. My child is a late summer bright child but emotionally not as mature as his less academic peers and it has shown in various stages through the school years. I very very much doubt they will put your child up a year after a week, after a year maybe, but now they aren’t in a level playing ground as some children will have had limited academic learning exposure due to parenting choices.
my parents pushed me and I started school way above my peers and remained so until secondary, when I ended up with ok but average GCSEs. Notionally I wasn’t very mature despite being academically extremely bright and this hindered my learning.

I was thinking the exact same thing! One week of school is hardly adequate time to assess this child to see if they put him ahead a grade.

Please try not to get defensive about this but your comment about having done a great job at raising your child is quite telling here. You have clearly been very involved in their early education and are right to feel proud of their progress. But please consider whether your own ego is coming into play here.

It feels to me like you want some recognition that your child is more advanced than others. It sounds as if they have been taught more than others are is obviously bright but that doesn't mean they are a year ahead in terms of development.

As others have said there are loads of way to challenge your child at home and broaden their learning. But also bear in mind how exhausting it is for them starting school and what they need now is not challenge or stretch, but time at home to be relaxing and a place to recover from all the new things at school.

I look back at when my DC were in primary and I used to feel very competitive about what level reading book they were on and annoyed that the school weren't increasing their level soon enough for my liking. I look back and cringe now.

One of the most important things for children is to love learning and the school environment. Putting a 4 year old into classes with 6 year old is not conducive to that.

Honestly, please just chill out a bit for your child's sake and consider their welfare in the long term rather than trying to push and challenge a 4 year old.

Wow.

This poor school doesn’t know what’s just landed on them. And think of the parents of this poor child’s peers!!

In some ways I want to say be careful what you wish for! One of mine is high achieving - generally it does not come without other complications and they can need lots of support in other ways. Also yours has a long way to go yet - the secondary school years can be hard to negotiate and I think that would be even harder if you were out of year group. One of my children’s friends is right at the end of August, and although in the right year, that still means every friend he has turns 18 before him, it’s hard to be the last to be able to learn to drive etc.