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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Uncomfortable home visit

90 replies

MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 16:13

Just had our home visit off the headteacher and two early years teachers for my son who starts reception in September.

It was awful! More questions were asked about me than my son. Did I have a partner (big wedding photo on unit should have been a giveaway), did I have a job, did I used to have a job, does my husband have a job.

Then the drilling over attendance, punctuality, helping with homework, a big lecture on no holidays and reminded about 4 times to check book bag for letters home. Basically treated as if I'd been living under a rock all my life. I had a list of questions but didn't feel able to ask them as was so uncomfortable.

I know these are probably standard questions but the delivery of them
Was so patronising. We live in what is probably considered a disadvantaged and poorly educated area but I still found it rude to make assumptions about parents just based on the catchment area.

Found myself waffling like an idiot about my degree and my family who
Work in teaching. Annoyed at myself now that I thought I needed to justify myself to these people. Sorry for the rant, next step is they go into my sons preschool to observe him
There so that'll be the next thing to worry about

OP posts:

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sirfredfredgeorge · 07/06/2016 17:35

No, that's nothing like "standard" questions.

What's their name? what do they like being called? Anything they're likely to be worried about particularly? Anything they're likely to need extra help with? Anything you'd like to ask us?

They're the standard questions.

ImperialBlether · 07/06/2016 17:42

I thought those visits were just so that the child gets to know the teacher in their own home environment? And three of them?! Why on earth was the headteacher there?

Original poster

MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 17:42

Only things they asked about my son were if he had any medical conditions or if there was any behavioural issues or history of autism in the family. Only one question was directed to him which was what toys do you like playing with.

The whole thing was just total
Crap and has left me really frustrated

OP posts:

Claraoswald36 · 07/06/2016 17:43

Christ. I told dd1 teacher during the home visit that I was divorced. She looked at me blankly - I thought maybe it was quite useful for her to know re comms with parents etc.
That visit sounds nuts

Andbabymakesthree · 07/06/2016 17:45

Headteacher and two teachers? Really??!!!

exWifebeginsat40 · 07/06/2016 17:45

wait, who does a home visit now? teachers from a state primary? what on earth for?

Original poster

MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 17:47

Yes all three of them. So felt outnumbered from the start. I'm
Cringing thinking about it. They couldn't even tell me what uniform
I needed as they hadn't decided on the polo shirt colour yet for the new term!

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2016 17:48

So the head teacher and two teachers visit every new reception child during a busy summer term? Really?

alltouchedout · 07/06/2016 17:50

I refused one when ds1 started school and wasn't offered when ds2 started (different school in a different city). I'll refuse if they want to do one when ds3 starts. Any information they need I can provide without them visiting my home. I've never seen the need for them and am uncomfortable with the concept.

SisterViktorine · 07/06/2016 17:53

Is this a new free school that is just opening in September? Otherwise I feel very doubtful that the Head and two Teachers would make a pre-entry home visit- assuming your DC doesn't have an EHCP for really complex needs or anything.

Was it the Head of EYFS and two teaching assistants?

Doesn't add up really.

Original poster

MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 17:59

It's an established school converting to an academy in September. It was headteacher and the two potential teachers as they haven't sorted them into classes yet, supposedly part of the visit was to determine what class he should go in but they didn't do anything with him so don't know how that works

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2016 18:04

So 3 People are going to be visiting 20-40 families during the next term. Assuming it's only 20, that's about a week out of school for 3 key staff..........assuming none of them live far away from the school.

KittyandTeal · 07/06/2016 18:11

Um, I'm an early years teacher in what is considered a deprived area.

I wouldn't dream of asking such personal and invasive questions unless they came up in conversation some how 'I worked at xyz' 'oh that's lovely, do you still work there?'

Home visits are there to enable us to see the child in their home setting (kids are often very different at school, especially starting) and for parents to ask any questions about starting school.

ChilliMum · 07/06/2016 18:17

Wow there is nothing about the visit that seems normal to me. We had 1 about 5 years ago as my dd started reception. Class teacher and teaching assistant. Teaching assistant played with dd asked her to show her favourite toys, favourite songs, stories.
Teacher sat on sofa with me, did I have any concerns, did dd have any particular likes or dislikes, any already established friendships. Told me all about how the first few weeks will work, what to expect (tired dd etc) what they would be doing (learning through play).
Afterward we met with a neighbour with a dd that would be starting school with mine and the girls were so excited about starting school and full of how lovely their new teachers were.
No personal questions.

Original poster

MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 18:18

If people on this thread think I am
Trolling then feel free to report, I've been here a few years now which you are welcome to check. I've nothing to gain from this thread I was simply expressing my frustration, I'm not going to Be putting in a complaint or anything to the school as I was originally so excited to get in there as its the only outstanding one within walking distance. I just wanted to gauge whether this was normal questioning for a home visit which I can now see it isn't. When we had the visit from preschool last year it was an totally different experience they couldn't have been more pleasant.

Thank you to those who offered their own experiences

OP posts:

BeStrongAndCourageous · 07/06/2016 18:19

We had home visits from both of the nurseries DD attended but haven't been told we're getting one from her new school. However, we have got three meetings at the school (both for us and DD - she sits in the Reception class while we meet various school reps) before she starts, and they are going into her nursery to meet her there as well.

This is an Outstanding oversubscribed school in the SE.

ifcatscouldtalk · 07/06/2016 18:21

home visits from 3 members of staff before starting primary?? When did all this shit start happening?!

Original poster

MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 18:23

We have the preschool visit, parents meeting in the school hall, half hour tour of classrooms and a full day in by himself to come yet

OP posts:

NotCitrus · 07/06/2016 18:24

Odd. To be fair, ours probably covered all that but it was one nursery nurse/TA went to play with ds while the teacher chatted to us and had a cup of tea for about half an hour. It made us feel they knew ds fairly well. There had been a letter that implied if you couldn't make the home visit on your appointed day, your child wouldn't be allowed to start school, but that's been toned down since. Will be getting one for dd soon but it's mostly a formality seeing as she's been dragged around the school for dozens of events as well as the school run for years.

Blu · 07/06/2016 18:25

Wow, OP, that does sound uncomfortable and OTT. No wonder people can be suspicious of home visits.
We were visited by the Reception teacher and one of the TAs. It was brilliant, they focussed on DS, chatted to him, played with him, got him talking, let him get to know them in the familiarity of his own home. Really helped him look forward to school.

rollonthesummer · 07/06/2016 18:31

That's certainly not my experience of home visits that I've carried out or those from my children's schools!

I don't know of a school that has enough funds to release two different potential teachers-before the classes are allocated- to visit every child on the basis that one of them 'might' teach that child in 3 months! Both of those teachers' classes much be currently being taught be someone else for days on end?

I have also never known a head teacher to leave the school to do home visits. It's usually the class teacher and the class LSA (once classes are allocated) and is usually don't in the first two weeks of July so the previous children aren't affected by their teacher's abscence.

The questions are bizarre. I'd be having serious concerns about his school- it doesn't sound like one I've ever worked in.

BertrandRussell · 07/06/2016 18:33

"home visits from 3 members of staff before starting primary?? When did all this shit start happening?!"

Never. As I said- it would take a week of 3 key members of staff's time. Minimum.

rollonthesummer · 07/06/2016 18:33

Apologies for the typos in that- I am cooking dinner whilst I type! It should be 'must' not 'much' and 'done' instead of 'don't'!

Original poster

MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 18:36

I've been looking through the information packs they gave me and found a free school meals application. We aren't eligible but maybe the questions were trying to find out if we would receive funding. They could have asked less aggresively, though really theres no need to ask at all as they'd find out soon enough in September

OP posts:

suitcaseofdreams · 07/06/2016 18:38

Sounds very odd. We had the class teacher and TA come to visit in the Sept (reception started a week later than the rest of the school to allow for these visits)
They were here maybe 15- 20 mins max. Brought a plain exercise book and pencil for the boys (I have twins) and had a bit of a chat with them about their favourite things etc. Also forced by the boys to look at their Lego collection and their bedroom!
Didn't really ask me anything about myself/work/family (infact I had to squeeze that in to a 3 min chat in th hall on their way out as there was some relevant info I needed to share with them)

All the stuff about homework, attendance, communication between school and home etc was done at an evening meeting for all new parents in the summer term and a follow up meeting in September - none of that was mentioned at the home visit.

It was all very low key - as it should be I think!

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