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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Uncomfortable home visit

90 replies

MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 16:13

Just had our home visit off the headteacher and two early years teachers for my son who starts reception in September.

It was awful! More questions were asked about me than my son. Did I have a partner (big wedding photo on unit should have been a giveaway), did I have a job, did I used to have a job, does my husband have a job.

Then the drilling over attendance, punctuality, helping with homework, a big lecture on no holidays and reminded about 4 times to check book bag for letters home. Basically treated as if I'd been living under a rock all my life. I had a list of questions but didn't feel able to ask them as was so uncomfortable.

I know these are probably standard questions but the delivery of them
Was so patronising. We live in what is probably considered a disadvantaged and poorly educated area but I still found it rude to make assumptions about parents just based on the catchment area.

Found myself waffling like an idiot about my degree and my family who
Work in teaching. Annoyed at myself now that I thought I needed to justify myself to these people. Sorry for the rant, next step is they go into my sons preschool to observe him
There so that'll be the next thing to worry about

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Andbabymakesthree · 08/06/2016 13:21

Our reception teachers came and visited the nursery for an hour. Read to the children.

The OP does expand that these teachers are newly appointed and didn't have a class yet. However surely there are things they can do at the school - like supporting current teaching staff or reading with children!

HangingRockPicnic · 08/06/2016 13:26

Our old school used to start reception children a week later than rest of the school an do the 60 + home visits then

Ours too

Original poster

MrsMoggy · 08/06/2016 13:27

They aren't new teachers they just haven't decided on who's in what classes for next year yet. Sorry if that was unclear.

Also it wasn't having a home visit that seemed strange, as nearly every school in my area conduct these, it was just the manner in which it was conducted that annoyed/surprised me.

Anyway my friend who's child is going to the school too has her visit on Friday so I will see how she goes on. Although she already knows what teacher she will get apparently as all the children at the nursery attached to the school are being put in the same class. My son doesn't go to the school nursery so I can't help but feel we are being slightly punished for that too but never mind!

OP posts:

fufulina · 08/06/2016 14:35

I can't believe some people don't believe you had a visit! We have had three - one for Dd1's first reception, another for her second school (we moved London borough), and one for DD2 starting nursery at Dd1's primary. The teacher and TA came and spent about 20 minutes getting to know the DD's. They visit everyone. In September. And so reception doesn't start until mid way through September to allow for the visits.

BertrandRussell · 08/06/2016 15:10

Oh I believe she had a visit. I find it difficult to get my head round the Head teacher and two reception teachers finding time for 40 home visits. That would take over a week.

NotCitrus · 08/06/2016 15:50

Maybe the head had heard these teachers aren't very reassuring or making a good use of time on home visits, so decided to tag along and see for themselves?

rollonthesummer · 08/06/2016 18:15

How on earth can a Reception teacher do home visits in September when there is a new class of reception children?

The home visits take place in the first two weeks of September before the class starts.

rollonthesummer · 08/06/2016 18:18

I can't believe some people don't believe you had a visit!

I don't think many people didn't believe the op. I think they were suggesting that a home visit in June from TWO potential teachers (who each had a class of their own which needto be covered) PLUS the head teacher, was extremely unusual!

Claraoswald36 · 08/06/2016 19:26

Dd1 visit was done during term time. By both reception teachers - the ta had the class

creamycrackers · 09/06/2016 10:53

MrsMoggy we have home visits in our area too. All of my family and friends did too when our dc were due to start at the local school. I can't actually remember what questions they asked me because it was a long time ago now. It is uncomfortable when questions are asked about things not related to school, but I'm guessing it's just getting to know you all or to see if a new pupil may be eligible for the pupil premium etc before they start at the new school.

PterodactylToenails · 09/06/2016 11:24

I had three teachers visit for ours. Main teacher and two TAs. I felt this was a bit overwhelming for my daughter. They were all very pleasant but if I had another child now I wold refuse the visit, I think it is all a bit imposing.

Coconut0il · 09/06/2016 20:38

Three members of staff for one home visitPoor you.
Maybe you were just unlucky and the Head was demonstrating (badly) how to do a home visit to the other members of staff. They may not have all gone to every home visit. At the school I work at there are 4 members of staff in early years and they split the visits between them. With new members of staff sometimes 3 will go, with known families just 1 might go. They would never ask the kind of questions you were asked. They were very rude to you .

BikeRunSki · 09/06/2016 20:56

With regarding the amount of staff time required for home visits, DD had her first induction afternoon at school earlier this week. We were asked if we wanted a school visit, and asked to sign up to one of 2 dates, between 9am -3pm. The YR teacher and TA will visit. So that's 24 hrs on home visits, for a class of 26. From when we had a visit for DS three years ago, I seem to remember they took about 15-20mins. It's a village school, so I imagine travel time is minimal.

bojorojo · 09/06/2016 21:44

I am glad there were no home visits at all for either of mine. When did all this start and not starting children until 2 weeks into term? We had a meeting with the teacher prior to starting, on school premises, and it was timed when DDs went for taster afternoon. It is far better to try and do this as home has nothing to do with the school. I would strongly dislike someone clocking what my house looks like, making judgements on the home life for my children and asking questions that have nothing to do with school. However, it is a lot easier than teaching for a couple of weeks. Any decent school can pick up all the info they need fairly quickly without home visits. Why should a nice home, cups of tea and cake make any difference to educating a child?

idontlikealdi · 09/06/2016 21:58

We had two teachers and a TA for ours last year (teachers job share). Complete waste of everyone's time. I'm fairly sure they were making sure we lived where we said we did...

mrz · 10/06/2016 06:57

bojorojo staggered entry has been around for about 30 years and home visits for more than a decade. It varies greatly from area to area.
As a reception teacher I once had a child move into my class in the sori g from another county and he hadn't been in school full time while my class had been full time from day one ...unsettling for him new. Class and long hours.
We don't do home visits in reception but nursery parents have the option. Three members of staff seems unnecessary and I'm not sure what the thinking is behind it more usual for a teacher and TA to visit.

teacherwith2kids · 10/06/2016 08:03

DS didn't have a visit (village school, right next to his pre-school, lots of joint activities and visits between the two settings anyway).

DD did (large town primary, we had just moved and it was a brilliant way of feeling that we had at least some contact with the school before she started - especially as she knew no-one else).

SurvivalGuide · 10/06/2016 13:09

We had a visit from the teacher and TA and all very pleasant. They would never send just one person for safeguarding reasons. Perhaps as you live in a dodgy area the Head was there for 3 person back up?!?!?

Sounds like you had a very unfortunate experience. I wouldnt be surprised if this sort of school/parent relationship theme continues throughout your DCs school career, even if YOU personally are not deserving of it.

Bolograph · 10/06/2016 13:13

We had a visit from the teacher and TA and all very pleasant. They would never send just one person for safeguarding reasons.

What? What? WHAT? They wouldn't send one person to a house containing adults and a child because of SAFEGUARDING? What the fuck did they think was going to happen?

I can imagine that in the roughest of rough areas they might be concerned about parents attacking teachers, although I'd like some evidence that's ever happened anywhere on a first visit. But SAFEGUARDING? Did they think the teacher was going to assult a child in front of their parents? What?

SurvivalGuide · 10/06/2016 15:40

I was actually referring to the school/employers duty of care to ensure their staff member / teacher is safe. I agree Bolograph but alas this is the the world we live in now. At our school teachers won't even have parents in their classroom now for parent consultations. These are now done in public in the hall!

HangingRockPicnic · 10/06/2016 18:08

At our primary school a dad was banned from going to parents' evening because he was so aggressive he made a newly qualified teacher cry. He was boasting about it on the playground.

Letseatgrandma · 10/06/2016 18:39

SAFEGUARDING? Did they think the teacher was going to assult a child in front of their parents?

No. Have a think. Who else could be at risk going into an unknown house? Safeguarding isn't always about a child.

bojorojo · 10/06/2016 18:53

This is why the child should come to the school - not the school visit the child! Also, aggressive parents should be escorted from school premises. It is really not a good idea to see these sorts of people in their homes if it can be avoided.

Roomba · 10/06/2016 19:19

I have one of these home visits for DS2 next week. I'm not looking forward to it as I hate people coming into my house and I can guarantee DS2 will decide to tip everything out, scribble on a wall or poo himself just as the doorbell rings...

I was supposed to have a visit when DS1 started school, but no one ever contacted me to arrange it. His teacher then collared me on his first day and said they'd phoned me repeatedly, but the number they'd been given was incorrect - and why was that? She seemed really suspicious which was bizarre as a) I'd written my correct number down, b) if it was wrong, why would they phone it repeatedly? and c) why not then write to me, or try phoning any of the other three numbers I'd provided (mobile, work, his Dad's mobile? I reckon she was covering her own arse as she didn't get time to do it.

Your visit didn't sound very useful, OP. Hope things are better when your son starts there.

PerspicaciaTick · 10/06/2016 19:27

I think an email thanking them for their visit but saying how disappointed you were that the visit seemed to ignore your child and didn't give you a chance to ask any questions, while focusing entirely on the socio-economic circumstances of yourself and your partner. What a shame it couldn't have been a more welcoming and sharing visit. And FWIW, three visiting teachers could be seen as intimidating and mob-handed.

Then see how they respond.

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