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Original poster

Uncomfortable home visit

90 replies

MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 16:13

Just had our home visit off the headteacher and two early years teachers for my son who starts reception in September.

It was awful! More questions were asked about me than my son. Did I have a partner (big wedding photo on unit should have been a giveaway), did I have a job, did I used to have a job, does my husband have a job.

Then the drilling over attendance, punctuality, helping with homework, a big lecture on no holidays and reminded about 4 times to check book bag for letters home. Basically treated as if I'd been living under a rock all my life. I had a list of questions but didn't feel able to ask them as was so uncomfortable.

I know these are probably standard questions but the delivery of them
Was so patronising. We live in what is probably considered a disadvantaged and poorly educated area but I still found it rude to make assumptions about parents just based on the catchment area.

Found myself waffling like an idiot about my degree and my family who
Work in teaching. Annoyed at myself now that I thought I needed to justify myself to these people. Sorry for the rant, next step is they go into my sons preschool to observe him
There so that'll be the next thing to worry about

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hesterton · 07/06/2016 18:39

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MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 18:43

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HangingRockPicnic · 07/06/2016 18:51

It sounds horrible. We had the class teacher and TA visit us. It was very relaxed. They asked if we had any questions and spoke to my dd. She buried her head in the sofa and they said she was daft or somesuch. It was nice for my dd to meet them in her own home and there was no quizzing of me to see if we passed muster. Your visit sounds horrible!

hesterton · 07/06/2016 18:53

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Original poster
MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 18:55

Thank you hesterton. I will be reporting the photo post soon as its identifying if the school see it

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 07/06/2016 18:55

DS's school does home visits this term for incoming Reception children. The YR teacher and TA. Can't remember what they asked when they came to see DS, but those sound a bit intrusive.

Vagndidit · 07/06/2016 19:01

Yikes! That level of invasion would have me shopping around for a new nonacademy primary school asap. They sound certifiable!

Fairuza · 07/06/2016 19:05

Sounds really weird, and like no home visit I've heard of. Maybe feed back to the school about how invasive and uncomfortable you found it?

FanDabbyFloozy · 07/06/2016 19:17

How strange!

We were having major renovations done when the teacher and TA visited so had no kitchen etc. I escorted them through the bombsite/house to the back garden where we had tea (from a flask) and cake. It was lovely! My little one smiled and was charming, and there was no stress.

I'd worry about what was ahead of you, tbh.

Kittyrobin · 07/06/2016 19:22

I had this during my ds home visit, they asked similar questions to the op. I also live in an area of socio-economic deprivation so perhaps this is why?

Not sure why the head teacher turned up, perhaps she was available and wanted to partake in a few?

juneau · 07/06/2016 20:08

I can only think that since you live in a deprived area they see of lot of DC who need a lot of extra support and they like to be prepared and know which DC are going to need that support. Based on their visit with you today I'm sure they'll assume that your DS won't be one of the ones needing it. But how unpleasant for you that they gave you the third degree and you felt rather attacked. I'm sure that wasn't their intention.

Just5minswithDacre · 07/06/2016 20:14

I believe you. There are always prejudiced people and oddballs in any profession.

Bolograph · 07/06/2016 20:21

Next time you hear complaints about how teachers are overworked, think on this: a school has sufficient staff to send three of them out to spend what sounds like an hour with every set of incoming parents, so ninety person-hours (at least two, more like three, person-weeks, allowing for travel and breaks) per reception class. If it's a school with a two-form intake, they have between one and one and a half PERSON MONTHS per year to piss away on being nosy.

Over worked and under funded my arse: that's a school with time and money to burn.

did I have a job, did I used to have a job, does my husband have a job.

Shame they haven't got anything worthwhile to do themselves, really.

acsec · 07/06/2016 20:34

I'm a Reception teacher and we do our home visits in September. Just me and TA. TA plays and chats with child, asks them to draw a pic for the classroom wall. I ask parents "what do they like to be called, can they dress themselves, manage toilet-ing independently, any allergies/concerns?" Ask them to sign a couple of forms giving permission for the ch to be allowed to be taken for walks to park. I ask if they have any questions, answer them and were on our way.

Takes 20mins at most 30mins if tea and cake offered 😊

Informal and non-judgey. Your home visit sounds like the worst! Flowers

PatMullins · 07/06/2016 20:37

Home visits? This is a thing?!

Ringadingdingdong22 · 07/06/2016 20:42

Op I don't personally have any experience, but wanted to stick up for you. Yes this is a 'thing'. My friend had the teacher visit them at home before her DS started school.

VulcanWoman · 07/06/2016 20:59

I don't agree with these home visits.

Blu · 07/06/2016 22:19

Home visits are not compulsory, just offered.
DS enjoyed it, it was an extra step in rearing him to be happy at the start of his school life. I felt it was caring and conscientious of the school, a feeling which was borne out throughout his time there.

Arkwright · 07/06/2016 22:48

We didn't have home visits. They may have been asking about your home situation so they could support your child in any way but it sounds an odd way of doing it.

The points in your account third paragraph were hammered home to us in our new starter meeting. They are important points.

catkind · 07/06/2016 23:10

Could it have been a cack-handed attempt to get some family info so they know who to talk about with the DC? Or angling for parents with interesting jobs to come in and talk to the class at some point?

I think we get a home visit, just teacher and TA though, they'd better not grill us! knowing us, we're more likely to grill them, i'm usually the one with a long list of questions at school information thingies.

DixieNormas · 07/06/2016 23:12

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bojorojo · 08/06/2016 11:02

How on earth can a Reception teacher do home visits in September when there is a new class of reception children? Who is teaching the children?

My limited knowledge of this is that a Reception teacher and possibly a TA go and visit the feeder nurseries to see the children who are coming into the school. A specialist teacher or SEND co-ordinator will visit SEND children beofre they come to school. If the children on the admissions list are not in the nurseries, home visits are a possibility but not the norm around here. However, a taster session in school may be offered.

This visit was far more to do with Pupil Premium funding for the school. They are clearly targetting likely free school meal parents and making sure they claim f s m so the school gets every penny of PP funding it is entitled to. How on earth a Head and two members of staff have time to do the visits is a mystery to me and most schools explain PP funding to parents when they are actually on roll at the school.

So, OP, I think they were making sure they got every penny of money into the school that may have come with your DC. Put it behind you and move on. I cannot believe the school is visiting everyone. It will just be those who may trigger PP, although that is very, very, judgemental. I would not be happy.

whiteDragon · 08/06/2016 11:56

How on earth can a Reception teacher do home visits in September when there is a new class of reception children? Who is teaching the children?

Our old school used to start reception children a week later than rest of the school an do the 60 + home visits then. Other schools in the area handle it all differently.

Despite being in a deprived area our were quite a nice experience.

However new deprived area been taken back at one social economic data gathering exercise masquerading as something else - then this data would be used to provide a profile of the cohort form that primary school.

We are not only ones who don't match the usual cohort - so wonder what the point of the data really is. Also worry about expectations lowering and assumption being made about our individual children based on this data. DH had this at his secondary - couldn't believe a child that went to his primary and so from his part of town could be bright - he got really shit careers advice - 5 A-level all A, first class degree and PhD both from world class universities - got told he was aiming too high and should think about going into local factory Hmm.

Have on occasions found ourselves with a very few teachers wittering on about our educational backgrounds - to stop a patronising tone or to try and raise their expectations for our DS especially - I can so see why working class boys don't do so well. You do feel like an idiot but then sometimes it does seem to work on improving the attitude.

Bolograph · 08/06/2016 11:58

How on earth a Head and two members of staff have time to do the visits is a mystery to me

Well, the governors know how to balance the budget at that school: get rid of the superfluous head and the two superfluous teachers who aren't needed for weeks at a time.

whiteDragon · 08/06/2016 11:59

We aren't eligible but maybe the questions were trying to find out if we would receive funding

We were asked outright to check if we were eligible and it was explained that the school would get extra funding so it was in best interest to have everyone who could claim - and they offered reassurance claiming children weren't singled out in any way.