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Original poster

Uncomfortable home visit

90 replies

MrsMoggy · 07/06/2016 16:13

Just had our home visit off the headteacher and two early years teachers for my son who starts reception in September.

It was awful! More questions were asked about me than my son. Did I have a partner (big wedding photo on unit should have been a giveaway), did I have a job, did I used to have a job, does my husband have a job.

Then the drilling over attendance, punctuality, helping with homework, a big lecture on no holidays and reminded about 4 times to check book bag for letters home. Basically treated as if I'd been living under a rock all my life. I had a list of questions but didn't feel able to ask them as was so uncomfortable.

I know these are probably standard questions but the delivery of them
Was so patronising. We live in what is probably considered a disadvantaged and poorly educated area but I still found it rude to make assumptions about parents just based on the catchment area.

Found myself waffling like an idiot about my degree and my family who
Work in teaching. Annoyed at myself now that I thought I needed to justify myself to these people. Sorry for the rant, next step is they go into my sons preschool to observe him
There so that'll be the next thing to worry about

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MiaowTheCat · 11/06/2016 12:38

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cosytoaster · 11/06/2016 12:50

Home visits? This is a thing?!

There seems to be a song and a dance made of just about everything these days - when I went we were full time from day one with no prior contact from school and not having attended nursery, no one seemed unduly traumatised.
Surely these teachers would do better to be in school actually teaching as opposed to rudely and needlessly prying into people's private lives.

leghoul · 14/06/2016 23:00

sounds like the nonsense from DC school - I'd say get out while you can!!

IoraRua · 15/06/2016 00:27

The safeguarding aspect of sending two absolutely makes sense. If parent decides to complain about an aspect of the meeting, it gives the principal or whoever investigates a second person to discuss it with. I use the strategy if I am meeting with difficult parents. Thankfully we don't do home visits here (and get on just fine!) but if I did do them I can imagine a second person being useful.

zozo55 · 19/08/2016 10:15

I can't stand things like this! Mines in September and I'm dreading it abd properly wont go. They can get to know my kid at school. But what's annoyed me is my son has had the following already:
Stay and play with perants was the 1st time we had even entered the school and mine ran off to play and didn't talk to me for the whole time.

Two class room plays without me.
I've attended two parents work shops about how to help them at home.
One big meeti ng covering everything with room for all questions to be asked (which I did)
I had a 1:1 tour with the deputy
And a teddys bear picnic (took in a favourite toy ect)
The had the sign up sheet for home visits at the back of the room with available slots. I asked if I had to sign up and got told I didn't . I then said okay because I don't wish too. They still sent me a letter with an appointment time ! I'm a quite annoyed they are pushing this and my son is completely ready for school and had plenty of induction. Not to mention as brutal as this may sound, I start work (in a school) that week , I'm not taking time off in the 1st week for this invasive crap wen I haven't agreed at all. they are better off making school start the week they do home visits to save me childcare!

MilkRunningOutAgain · 20/08/2016 17:28

I had a lovely home visit before DD start. The TA played with her and the teacher asked a few questions about her, nothing pressured at all. And after the visit my DD , who had been very worried about starting school, was quite happy and rushed off on her first morning to say hello to the TA all smiles. OP your visit sounds weird.

Saladfox · 20/08/2016 17:41

We have a home visit from both DS's (job sharing) Reception teachers on the 30th. I can't imagine it's going to last long, given that he has plans to give them a tea party in the Lego jungle den under his bed, the unfortunates, and we get back from holiday the night before... Grin

AnneElliott · 20/08/2016 17:50

That sounds totally mad! Am glad our school don't do these, but our head is quite lazy, so I can't see her getting out and about meeting parents.Grin

We did though have a really mad HV visit just before we had DS. He first ( and only ) question was whether we'd suffered incest or abuse, and when we said no ( and confirmed we were sure Hmm) she left. Just shows there are mad people in all walks of life!

ReallyTired · 22/08/2016 09:49

I think that the home visit dd had was lovely, but not necessarily a good use of time. I would favour schools visiting families they don't know or families with children known to have special needs. In many ways it makes sense to visit children at their current nursery than at home.

drspouse · 22/08/2016 10:33

At our primary school a dad was banned from going to parents' evening because he was so aggressive he made a newly qualified teacher cry. He was boasting about it on the playground.

And yet it's fine for DC to live with this man...

We had no home visit, they visited nursery but we were on holiday, so everything has taken place at school. DS has some SEN and I had a quick meeting with the SENCO who had some helpful suggestions (and we will be following up to see if they can trigger a referral we can't get on the NHS), but mainly seemed to be comparing my (winter birthday, mature in many ways) DS to her own (full year younger if not more) DS who is in nursery which I felt was not helpful.

We have two half days (1st/2nd Sept) and then full days from the Monday.

StillRabbit · 24/08/2016 15:04

Neither of my children had home visits and the school I currently work at doesn't do them but my last school did. The first two weeks in September (before the new reception children started) would have a teacher and TA and sometimes the parent liaison officer (who was sometimes assumed to be the head and NEVER corrected people) doing the home visits. These were partly to confirm that the family were actually living at the address (and we did get address fraud) as well as to meet the child. It is helpful for office staff to know if parents work and also for the teachers to know if there are any "useful" jobs in the bank of parents. New in year applications for any year group were always visited by the parent liaison officer and a teacher or TA. No child started at the school until a home visit had taken place. (Overkill in my opinion but there you go).

meowli · 24/08/2016 17:05

We've never had home visits in my area. AFAIK the teachers just visit the children in their pre-schools or nurseries. I don't know if they'd do a home visit if the child wasn't enrolled in a pre-school, though. The Head and two others sounds v intimidating.

ROSY2016 · 24/08/2016 23:30

haven't heard about home visits. my little one had two taster days and that's all. It's not convenient for everybody to allow home visits.

mrz · 25/08/2016 06:22

Its considered good practice to offer home visits in EYFS but it's not compulsory.

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